Somebody to ape?

Friends (1994-2004; Season 1-10)

People need role models to guide them through the uncertainties of life. Every living day is a new experience. Hence, newbies who step into different stages of their lives necessitate the presence of someone with authority to emulate. Parents and teachers are sparse representations of adulthood. Their paths are dull, unexciting and merely outdated. Juniors need to follow routes that are 'compelling' and approved by their contemporaries. They aspire for someone or some icon to tell them what normality is.

For teenagers who peeled their inner eyes of awareness at the turn of the century, the Gen-Y's, the TV rom-com 'Friends' could have influenced their perception of what relationship is all about. 

Come to think of it, a generation before them formed their opinions on more significant life issues from Oprah. Oprah Winfrey set the standards on women empowerment, relationship issues, and accepting body image issues. It was as though the whole world had one set of values and it was dictated by the divas in the superficially glamorous city of Tinseltown.

The Gen-Ys (a.k.a. Millennials, born 1981-96), the middle-class English speaking urbanites, moulded their lives around the characters of 'Friends'. It was the norm to have close friends of either gender who may be intimate friends of any kind, with no holds barred, including those considered taboo by the generation before them to go to in time of crises. The social and cultural norms deemed 'normal' are as determined by their favourite characters or collectively by the cast of 'Friends'.

For those who have been living in hibernation, the sit-com 'Friends' is about a group of six friends, two apartments and a coffee shop that they hang out as well as the people as they meet in their lives. They were in their 20s when they started the show. Ross and Monica are siblings. Chandler attended the same high school as Ross. Rachel was Monica's high school mate while Joey joined the group when he became Chandler's roommate. The sixth member of the group is Phoebe, the free-spirited 'hippie', who once lived off the streets and now works as a masseuse. 

Ross is a palaeontologist in a museum. Chandler is a statistic analyst while Joey is a struggling actor. Monica is trying to make it big as a chef. Rachel started as a waitress at the cafe they hang out, Central Perk, but later found a job in the fashion industry.

The earlier seasons were refreshing, but as more episodes get churned, one cannot help but notice that the scriptwriters were running out of ideas. I guess one cannot ask too many questions like how some cash-strapped struggling young adult could afford to live in Manhattan and spent most days chilling at their favourite cafeteria. And why a palaeontologist and an academic would find the company of blue-collar workers more appealing. As their funny bone shrunk, their canned laughter seemed to reach higher decibels, and their threshold for laughter fell to almost zero. The writers dragged airtime by creating lazy jokes with sexual innuendos and sometimes in-your-face tasteless language labelled as a comedy. Another time-buying manoeuvring was replaying clip shows and operating on sentiments of nostalgia. The show failed to show a growing maturity in the characters. They seem to be excited by the same jokes all throughout the seasons.

It is ridiculous when in one season Joey and Rachel are lovestruck and the next, they are finding dates and discussing ways to bed their respective dates. Sure, it is all supposed to be taken lightly, it is after all showbiz, I find it comical when a couple who has fallen out of love with each other can look at each other in the face like nothing happened. And live in the same apartment, on top of that! Or is that modern love or something called moving on?

After being in the limelight for ten seasons, the producers finally pulled the plug on the show after episode #236, leaving a string of broken hearts and rudderless souls. They await a reunion of the cast in a single unscripted comeback show which was supposed to out in March 2020 but postponed due to COVID-19.


It is not for me to say, but maybe it is for social scientists to explore. The male characters are not given prominence in the series, much like many of the shows that are churned out from Hollywood. The male personas appear the not so intelligent ones, jokers, laid back, indecisive and be wrapped around the fingers of their female counterparts. It would be interesting to see how social dynamics in other parts of the world get moulded by the American Dream and the American perspective of women empowerment. It is good to know just how much the teaching of the art of flirting and promiscuous lifestyle that is sold to the general public actually modify our social mores?

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

no bad ending...

The latest season of Games of Throne has ended. How do the die-hard fans respond? They totally went ballistic, demanding a re-write of the script and re-shooting of the whole season. The viewers, mostly from Generation-Y and millennials, were brought up believing that they can have everything their way. All they have to do is ask. Nobody is a loser. Living under the umbrella of their helicopter parents who rewarded mediocrity, for them, it is their right. Win, they must, they think they get away with murder. For them, it is their way or the highway. There is only one way, their way. And they want not now but yesterday. What really matters is their desires. Others can just get lost. And they have just the perfect way to air their grievances, their dirty linen to air, in public domain.

We have to understand that not everything in life is under our control. We sometimes cannot even control ourselves. Definitely, creative juices cannot be contained. Just because you pay for the media control, it does not mean you control the storyline. Come to think of it, they already have that. It is called interactive TV. It is like a multiple choice response to how the viewer wants the story to progress!

Nietzche rightly predicted that Man of the future will spend a vast amount of time in appreciating, not the great feats of mankind but at their trivialities. Maybe like hunting for Pikachu monsters or keeping up with the Kardashians.

This evolution is inevitable when the day to day issues, like the next meal, basic amenities and education are available at will. As it is human nature to be fickle and bicker, to keep the neurons firing, they ponder on irrelevant issues like choosing the right eye-shadow or eavesdropping into others' private lives just for the kick of it!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

We’re blessed to be in a profession that helps

http://www.thestar.com.my/Opinion/Letters/2014/12/11/Were-blessed-to-be-in-a-profession-that-helps/

I AM a registrar (medical officer in training as a specialist) in one of the busiest hospitals in Malaysia.

I did my housemanship training here, went for my district posting, got into the specialist programme, and am now back in the same hospital where it all began.

Every once in a while, I come across a link sent to me via social media, regarding housemen, and their plight. Like how they are expected to work 75 hours; how medical officers and specialists are their bane; how they don’t get enough time for lunch or tea; and how medical officers have nothing else to do but make their already miserable lives more miserable.

Allow me to share the other side of the story.

My job requires me to work from 8am to 5pm. That’s a nine-hour job, with one hour for lunch. So that’s 45 hours per week, give or take.

That said, my work starts at 7.30am. I need to know my cases, especially the overnight admissions, before the specialists arrive. Sometimes, they arrive at 7.15am because they have got operations and clinics to run.

We don’t wait at the machine to punch out at 5pm sharp either. Sometimes, though not always, we have to stay back for hours because of certain cases.

Most of us do about six calls a month. Meaning, we punch in at 8am and punch out at 1pm the next day or 5pm the next day depending on the department’s policy.

Weekends, 24-hour calls, you don’t really hear us complaining, do you? Given the chance, I would rather spend the weekend with my family, rather than slog in the hospital for a mere RM220.

On average, the medical officer works 54 to 80 hours a week depending on the number of calls. And this varies from taking referals in the emergency department to doing life saving surgery at 3am.

So, the question arises, why do we do it?

To my junior doctors, we are blessed. We are in a blessed profession. We can alleviate pain, remove devastating tumours, make people walk again, we save lives.

We are blessed to be in a profession, where parents, children, sisters and brothers thank us for what we do. Be it a simple dislocated shoulder to a severe heart attack, we do what we can to help people.

When you look at consultants, they are where they are, not by whining. They are there because of the countless hours they put in, both with the books, as well as in the hospital.

There is no doubt, everyone wants more pay and less work, me included.

But dear housemen, take a good hard look at the person next to you. This is going to be the person who will eventually take care of you and your children.

If you have even a little bit of insight, you will know how to correct things, and at least be a better person, if not a better doctor.

MED REG

Kuala Lumpur

Whiners of the new generation!

Letters

Published: Monday December 8, 2014 MYT 12:00:00 AM
Updated: Monday December 8, 2014 MYT 7:57:26 AM

‘Trauma’ faced by some housemen in hospitals

IN the last two years there were a couple of articles regarding the tyranny trainee doctors in our hospitals are subjected to and the unethical treatment they are accorded to by the senior medical officers (MOs) and sometimes the specialists, too.

It is also a known secret that some trainee doctors have left the profession in disgust without completing the two-year compulsory internship.

Unfortunately, up to this day nothing seems to have been done either by the Health Ministry, Malaysian Medical Association (MMA) or the Malaysian Medical Council (MMC) to fix this problem.

A houseman in any hospital in the peninsular is required to work for a minimum of 78 hours a week.

I say minimum because depending on the mood of the MO in charge, it could go much beyond this, with some end up serving even up to 90 hours a week.

Once in every week a trainee is scheduled to work continuously for 32 hours. This may be extended to 48 hours if the MO in charge so prefers.

Could you imagine how effectively a doctor can attend to patients after having gone sleepless for more than 32 hours?

And, while on duty the trainees are not given time to go for lunch or dinner; forget about tea-breaks.

Worse still, at times, they are not even allowed time to rush to the washroom to answer nature’s call.

They have to “steal” time for all these, hoping that the MO in charge would not appear suddenly to check on them.

That aside, the torment these trainee doctors undergo under their overly bossy MOs, to say the least, is atrocious.

A houseman is scheduled to serve in one department for two months.

However, if the MOs or the specialist in that department do not like any of the housemen entrusted to them; then the life of that trainee would be made miserable.

The unfortunate trainee would be picked on undeservedly and reprimanded in front of the patients and visitors.

And, very often, that trainee shall be held back to spend another two months or even more in that department.

To put it in a nutshell, everything possible, including veiled threats, would be used to torment the trainee psychologically to coerce him or her to leave the profession.

I hope the ministry, MMA and MMC carry out a thorough investigation immediately in all hospitals involved in training to ensure that the housemen are treated with some decorum.

Those involved in the training of housemen should be reminded that teaching and learning cannot occur by merely humiliating and threatening the housemen.

Those MOs involved in holding back trainees for more than the stipulated two months period in any one department must be hauled-up to justify their action.

Severe action must be taken against those MOs who are found to have breached the basic ethics of humanity while dealing with their charges.

For a start, these unprofessional MOs should be relieved of responsibilities to train the housemen as they are not at all fit to be in the medical profession.

It must be remembered that the two-year period the trainees spend under senior MOs and specialists is very crucial as that is what moulds them to become good doctors.

DISGUSTED MALAYSIAN

Kuala Lumpur

Milliennial offspring of Helicopters

http://time.com/3154186/millennials-selfish-entitled-helicopter-parenting/

Millennials Are Selfish and Entitled, and Helicopter Parents Are to Blame

Nick Gillespie @nickgillespie Aug. 21, 2014

There are more overprotective moms and dads at a time when children are actually safer than ever

Peter Lourenco—Flickr RF/Getty Images

It’s natural to resent younger Americans — they’re younger!— but we’re on the verge of a new
generation gap that may make the nasty old fights between baby boomers and their
“Greatest Generation” parents look like something out of a Norman Rockwell painting.

Seventy-one percent of American adults think of 18-to-29-year-olds — millennials, basically — as “selfish,” and 65% of us think of them as “entitled.” That’s according to the latest Reason-Rupe Poll, a quarterly survey of 1,000 representative adult Americans.

If millennials are self-absorbed little monsters who expect the world to come to them and for their parents to clean up their rooms well into their 20s, we’ve got no one to blame but
ourselves — especially the moms and dads among us.

Indeed, the same poll documents the ridiculous level of kid-coddling that has now become the new normal. More than two-thirds of us think there ought to be a law that kids as old as 9 should be supervised while playing at a public park, which helps explain (though not justify) the arrest of a South Carolina mother who let her phone-enabled daughter play in a busy park while she worked at a nearby McDonald’s. We think on average that kids should be 10 years old before they “are allowed to play in the front yard unsupervised.” Unless you live on a traffic island or a war zone, that’s just nuts.

It gets worse: We think that our precious bundles of joy should be 12 before they can wait alone in a car for five minutes on a cool day or walk to school without an adult, and that they should be 13 before they can be trusted to stay home alone. You’d think that kids raised on Baby Einstein DVDs should be a little more advanced than that.

Curiously, this sort of ridiculous hyperprotectiveness is playing out against a backdrop in which children are safer than ever. Students reporting bullying is one-third of what it was 20 years ago, and according to a study in JAMA Pediatrics, the past decade has seen massive declines in exposure to violence for kids. Out of 50 trends studied, summarize the authors, “there were 27 significant declines and no significant increases between 2003 and 2011. Declines were particularly large for assault victimization, bullying, and sexual victimization. There were also significant declines in the perpetration of violence and property crime.”

There are surely many causes for the mainstreaming of helicopter parenting. Kids cost a hell of a lot to raise. The U.S. Department of Agriculture figures a child born in 2013 will set back middle-income parents about $245,000 up to age 17 (and that’s before college bills kick in).

We’re having fewer children, so we’re putting fewer eggs in a smaller basket, so to speak. According to the Reason-Rupe poll, only 27% of adults thought the media were overestimating threats to the day-to-day safety of children, suggesting that 73% of us are suckers for sensationalistic news coverage that distorts reality (62% of us erroneously think that today’s youth face greater dangers than previous generations). More kids are in institutional settings — whether preschool or school itself — at earlier ages, so maybe parents just assume someone will always be on call.

But whatever the reasons for our insistence that we childproof the world around us, this way madness lies. From King Lear to Mildred Pierce, classic literature (and basic common sense) suggests that coddling kids is no way to raise thriving, much less grateful, offspring. Indeed, quite the opposite. And with 58% of millennials callingthemselves “entitled” and more than 70% saying they are “selfish,” older Americans may soon be learning that lesson the hard way.

Alvivi forever and ever?

In the limelight but for how long?

By now we are all too familiar with the now infamous blog 'Sumptuous Eriotica' with the authors' (s)exploits and public display of their supposedly private expression of their casual love. And the hysteria that had followed suit, by the main stream newspapers who would otherwise have to continue churning out oft nauseating news of praise of the ruling party and bashing of the opposition.
The issue, stems from the fact that it is just a difference of importance placed by two different generations. The older generation lived a life trying to pacify the needs of the society whilst sometimes sacrificing personal needs or desires. The newer generation on the other hand live for themselves, to satisfy their needs and care a damn of others. They can all go to hell for all they care. It is already a challenge trying keep pace with others and establishing themselves in this competitive world. Compromising for others is not on their agenda right now. The social norm has changed. The differences between the Eastern and Western accepted social mores have become blurrier as we speak. What was taboo a generation ago in the Eastern culture is now embraced wholeheartedly by the generation next.
Gone are the days where the youngsters are seen and not heard. Their voice are heard loud and clear the world over.
This friction between generations (a.k.a. generation gap) started with the Elvis the Pelvis when he started his hip gyrating rock and roll numbers. Expression of the youth have never been the same...

FG says... It all started in Silicon Valley when everything everything started becoming informal; you don't have to dress up to go to work, you can dress down; you don't have to work fixed hours, you work flexi hours; you don't need hierarchy and cubicle in workplace, you practice open concept; this type of lackadaisical attitude slowly permeated into all facets of daily life; rules and regulations are made to be broken....

Alvivi forever?

Sex blogger takes to Facebook to blast media, critics

By Lydia Gomez | Yahoo Newsroom – Mon, Oct 22, 2012

KUALA LUMPUR, Mon.: When it comes to sex bloggers Alvin Tan and Vivian Lee's attitude towards their expose', the phrase 'taking it in their stride' is a gross understatement.

The duo, whose mercurial rise to infamy became the topic of frenzied online discussions and non-stop media coverage, have bulldozed their way through the harshest criticism with what appears to be confident, sarcastic rebukes.

Tan, an ASEAN scholar and law undergraduate at the National University of Singapore (NUS), took to his Facebook account to systematically rebut the highly publicised brickbats thrown at them, mostly through local news headlines.

 Taken from his profile, these are his posts:

 "I love these NUS Board of Discipline hearings, where the judge and the prosecutor are the same people" - [The NUS is conducting an internal disciplinary hearing into the sex blog].

 "Psychologists who have clever things to say about our behaviour should tone it down. How credible is your "appraisal" if you haven't even met us, much less conducted a proper assessment on us?" - [In a recent report, a psychiatrist claimed that both Tan and Lee's sex blog was nothing more than a 'cry for attention']

 "To those who say that we teach children the wrong things, look: those are your children. The world is bad and evil, and it is your job as parents to shield them or educate them about things like this. Ultimately, we don't owe more than an ounce of responsibility towards the young individuals whom you bring to this world. If your children get their hands on this so-called obscene material that we published, you only have yourselves to blame for not knowing how to control your kids. It's not our duty to make parenting and education easy for you, so go and learn how to be good parents instead of blaming others when it is you who failed." [ In a related report, parents labelled both Tan and Lee as 'stupid, disgraceful and selfish']

 "Shame on me as a businessman. They're making a FORTUNE out of Vivian and me -- just look at the numbers! APPEARANCE FEE TIME. >.<" [on an article about him and Lee 'still hogging the limelight'].

 "I used to look up to (MCA president) Datuk Seri Dr Chua Soi Lek, sexually. Funny how things turned out." [MCA Youth chief Datuk Wee Ka Siong blasted the pair for giving a 'free show']"Datuk Seri Wong Chun Wai's overly-kind words of me; I'm flattered 1,000%" [In response to The Star's Group Chief Editor Wong Chun Wai in which Wong observed and said : Tan seems to be your average boy next door. He is polite, plays the piano really well (his repertoire includes classical numbers) and is a gymnast. His body is well-toned with a six-pack to show off, as those who have seen his pictures on
the Net would know.
He speaks impeccable English and talks in measured tones, very controlled and yet very open. He would put many of our politicians to shame when it comes to fielding questions from the media, really.
He is after all a graduate from the prestigious Raffles Institution in Singapore, an Asean scholar, and is reading law at the National University of Singapore. He is obviously a very smart guy. I try to think that the smartest and cleverest ones have a certain streak of eccentricity in them."]

 "P.S. Given how sophisticated the level of discussion was... People with bad English, please stay out -- you might as well be listening to French. :D" [ On the 'tricky' interview with Capital FM and Red FM].

 "Getting into the media limelight was never my intention. But now I have media attention knocking on my door, I have two choices: hide from it or learn to manage and use it to my advantage. The point is that a lot of people are focused on the wrong aspect; they are focusing on the nature of my publicity (sex, morality, ingratitude to certain institutions, etc.). That aspect, i.e. how I rose to fame, is immaterial. I, being the cunning and conniving character I've always been, am focusing on the magnitude and thus potential of that publicity."

In another lengthy post from Saturday, Tan reflects on the nature of the media which he sees as 'hungry canines' that would 'discard you faster than a woman would discard a heavily-soiled sanitary pad once they milked all there is to milk out of your story'.

"Before they get the story, they will treat you like a king or celebrity. That is the cold, hard truth that I know and accept."
Tan, who has never shied from the media spotlight (apart from taking down his blog) since his 'Sumptuous Erotica' sex blog exploded earlier last week, had this to say about reporters: I would personally send all those so-called journalists back to journalism school for forgetting the key legitimising characteristic that the media should have: objectivity.

 "I also overwhelmingly prefer TV/radio interviews over newspaper interviews, because, with the former, there's much less latitude to twist and turn my words. They have to present my views and opinions in their original, sensory format, except maybe for some cutting and pasting and bleeping. Newspapers, conversely, are actually secondary sources, even with the use of quotes (here's the truth: newspaper quotes are almost never verbatim -- "(sic)" is an obsolete concept). Even the so-called credible newspapers, like The Straits Times and The Star, have the annoying tendency to take quotes out of context to print the story that they want to portray, not report the story as it is."

In his latest post (yesterday) Tan dedicated the following image to 'the 9GAG generation':

Generation Next?

I probably will let my imagination go berserk on this one. It may stink of stereotyping, generalization and gross assumption. I may be wrong but what the heck. It is the only way to keep the neurons firing away and keeping senility at bay. Talking about senility and selective amnesia at will, we have seen many around us guilty by the first degree on this charge!
Just the other day, I saw a lassy pushing a deep pram like contraption with three thorough bred puppies sticking their heads looking at passers by. The lassy,  in her mid 20s, in a well confident poise, brimming with self confidence with her equal well sculptured gymnasium time spent thighs and legs and hot pants, stiletto to accentuate her bragging rights and tops leaving little imagination of the modesty that it was meant to cover which was nothing to feel outraged about anyway, was trying to get her 'babies' into her car with her partner. The partner, probably not witnessed by fire, tea ceremony, cross or people sanctioned ceremony but by mutual consent was finding get great pleasure in gently making the animals comfortably at home in the car. Partner? Yeah, they look too cosy, touchy and civilised to be married!
Welcome to Generation Next! The generation who believe that they make the centre of the universe. Living for them by their way is their right. They would do any which way they choose but loose! Societal and theological regulations are good movie scripts and Aesop's toddler bedtime stories. It is their life and they choose the way they want to live it.

Children? Nah, they have bigger things on their plates than things that bog them down, like career advancements and seeing the whole world before they die.
Carnal indulgence? Please! Don't ask the obvious. There is a reason why they call it carnival (carnal festival?) and that they discovered contraception and sex education, to empower women and to ensure that all conceptions are received with open arms. Anyway, sex education is not wasted on them. Whenever they are afflicted with a sexually transmitted infection, they make it their God sent decree to impose upon themselves to contact their ex'es which ever corner of the world they may be so that all those in their wide web of sexual footprint are treated. That much they owe it upon themselves as social responsibility.
Role models? Kim Kardashian (who wants to elope with Kanye West) and socialite Paris Hilton who uses her giant sized handbag and puny sized lap dog chihuahua as ornamental accessories to complete her appearance!
Of course my sweeping statements above may be utterly out of context and wrong on all accounts. After all it is just an observational study that does not hold any water...