Longevity, a boon or a curse?

This newspaper cutting has been making its rounds in many social media groups, especially amongst the senior section of our society. Understandably they embrace the silver hair stage of their lives with much trepidation. It is anybody’s guess what the future holds for each of us. We try, however, to patch up all possibilities and pave all roads for a smooth transition to the other side. As mischievous as it always is, Nature will inevitably come up with some loophole that we never expected and, thus, are ill-prepared.

The generation before us, facing an uncertain future, seeing a world war and migrating for survival, saw education and wealth as a foolproof way to prosperity. Having hardly seen anyone pass their sixth decade of life, everything was done in a hurry. They needed to educate their kids, make a territory their legacy, and save for rainy days as they slowly rode into the sunset after having the pleasure of seeing their offsprings produce offspring.

However, they should have considered the push-pull factor from their Newfoundland and their newfound longevity.

Benefiting by leaps and bounds from the stride in medical development, baby boomers are now living to years thought impossible by their parents. Unlike their parent’s world, the world had grown smaller. The world is at their feet for the millennial to step out into. As per taught to them by their parents, migration to a more prosperous land and the validation of their qualification by a white man as success, they naturally migrate overseas, leaving the old people behind.

Unfortunately, we are creatures of habit. The oldies are left behind, not because of inconvenience but for comfort. The oldies feel safe at havens familiar to them. Hence, they stayed back. Sadly the mind ages slower than the body. This spurs many sad thoughts and needs to endure the maladies of loneliness and physical pain.

Humans are the only species on Earth that nurtures their young for such a long time, and conventionally the oldies are cared for in their twilight years. This turn of events is tricky when the old live long lives at a time when the young are struggling to put their mark on their lives. Care homes and assisted living to fill the gap but can only do so much.

Should we complain about living long lives or being uncared for in our geriatric age group? Money can buy love and medical assistance; that is about it.

The mighty Hang Tuah and even the Pandavas, after they felt unwanted after achieving unsurmountable tasks in their lives, decided to wander off into the wilderness of Gunung Ledang and Meru Hills, respectively, to be one with Nature. Just saying….

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Somebody to ape?

Friends (1994-2004; Season 1-10)

People need role models to guide them through the uncertainties of life. Every living day is a new experience. Hence, newbies who step into different stages of their lives necessitate the presence of someone with authority to emulate. Parents and teachers are sparse representations of adulthood. Their paths are dull, unexciting and merely outdated. Juniors need to follow routes that are 'compelling' and approved by their contemporaries. They aspire for someone or some icon to tell them what normality is.

For teenagers who peeled their inner eyes of awareness at the turn of the century, the Gen-Y's, the TV rom-com 'Friends' could have influenced their perception of what relationship is all about. 

Come to think of it, a generation before them formed their opinions on more significant life issues from Oprah. Oprah Winfrey set the standards on women empowerment, relationship issues, and accepting body image issues. It was as though the whole world had one set of values and it was dictated by the divas in the superficially glamorous city of Tinseltown.

The Gen-Ys (a.k.a. Millennials, born 1981-96), the middle-class English speaking urbanites, moulded their lives around the characters of 'Friends'. It was the norm to have close friends of either gender who may be intimate friends of any kind, with no holds barred, including those considered taboo by the generation before them to go to in time of crises. The social and cultural norms deemed 'normal' are as determined by their favourite characters or collectively by the cast of 'Friends'.

For those who have been living in hibernation, the sit-com 'Friends' is about a group of six friends, two apartments and a coffee shop that they hang out as well as the people as they meet in their lives. They were in their 20s when they started the show. Ross and Monica are siblings. Chandler attended the same high school as Ross. Rachel was Monica's high school mate while Joey joined the group when he became Chandler's roommate. The sixth member of the group is Phoebe, the free-spirited 'hippie', who once lived off the streets and now works as a masseuse. 

Ross is a palaeontologist in a museum. Chandler is a statistic analyst while Joey is a struggling actor. Monica is trying to make it big as a chef. Rachel started as a waitress at the cafe they hang out, Central Perk, but later found a job in the fashion industry.

The earlier seasons were refreshing, but as more episodes get churned, one cannot help but notice that the scriptwriters were running out of ideas. I guess one cannot ask too many questions like how some cash-strapped struggling young adult could afford to live in Manhattan and spent most days chilling at their favourite cafeteria. And why a palaeontologist and an academic would find the company of blue-collar workers more appealing. As their funny bone shrunk, their canned laughter seemed to reach higher decibels, and their threshold for laughter fell to almost zero. The writers dragged airtime by creating lazy jokes with sexual innuendos and sometimes in-your-face tasteless language labelled as a comedy. Another time-buying manoeuvring was replaying clip shows and operating on sentiments of nostalgia. The show failed to show a growing maturity in the characters. They seem to be excited by the same jokes all throughout the seasons.

It is ridiculous when in one season Joey and Rachel are lovestruck and the next, they are finding dates and discussing ways to bed their respective dates. Sure, it is all supposed to be taken lightly, it is after all showbiz, I find it comical when a couple who has fallen out of love with each other can look at each other in the face like nothing happened. And live in the same apartment, on top of that! Or is that modern love or something called moving on?

After being in the limelight for ten seasons, the producers finally pulled the plug on the show after episode #236, leaving a string of broken hearts and rudderless souls. They await a reunion of the cast in a single unscripted comeback show which was supposed to out in March 2020 but postponed due to COVID-19.


It is not for me to say, but maybe it is for social scientists to explore. The male characters are not given prominence in the series, much like many of the shows that are churned out from Hollywood. The male personas appear the not so intelligent ones, jokers, laid back, indecisive and be wrapped around the fingers of their female counterparts. It would be interesting to see how social dynamics in other parts of the world get moulded by the American Dream and the American perspective of women empowerment. It is good to know just how much the teaching of the art of flirting and promiscuous lifestyle that is sold to the general public actually modify our social mores?

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