A wedding - a celebration of life?

BP was a year junior to me at university. Coming from a similar family background, we clicked. Our paths would occasionally meet in the daily hustle and bustle of our academic lives. Our course required us to spend two of our five academic years away from the main campus, at the university's teaching hospital in the East Coast State of Kelantan.

It was in my last year that BP used to hang out in my room in between his long studying hours. We used to chat about little things, such as quirky occurrences during ward rounds and other similar topics.

Soon, it was 1988, and it was convocation time, marking the beginning of the different paths life would take us. Working in various hospitals, we acquired the necessary skills to progress in our field of expertise.

Periodically, we kept in touch, trying to stay in touch as often as possible. It was the pre-digital era; hence, we had only depended on landlines and physical meetings.

Just last month, I was pleasantly surprised when BP called me on my mobile phone to invite me to his daughter's wedding. It took place in a private hall in a small town.

I used to think weddings were something personal, only to be shared within a close family circle and friends. That a large celebration was opulence and a waste of money that could be put to better use.

After attending the celebration, it dawned upon me that it is more than flaunting one's wealth or one that irks the roving eyes. I began to view wedding celebrations in a different light. It is a celebration of the path that both families traversed. It brings together all the people who were somehow involved in shaping a young couple into what they are today. They must have gone through their ups and downs together. This moment must be the victory lap for their labour of love, not for others to see but for themselves to bask in the glory for a task well done.

As mysterious as life can be, I noticed that many people BP invited for the wedding celebration were also known to me, but not through the standard university connection. The same people who crossed BP's life also crossed mine, albeit at different times during training in various towns. So it was a good catch-up time for me too. Some of them I had lost contact with for over twenty years.

Life springs so many surprises. Just like how I met BP many years after graduating in 1988. It was 1995, and as I was walking along the cobbled streets of Edinburgh one warm November afternoon, who did I bump into? A jubilant BP who had just passed his membership examinations at the Royal College of Medicine! And I was given the honour to share the proud moment of him receiving the scroll from the President of the College.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

We strive...

Better Man (2024)
Director: Michael Gracey

The main character, who roams about in a chimpanzee suit, is the first aspect that captures your attention. The other characters do not make a fuss about this. They simply talk, hug, and interact with him as if he were one of their own. The reason is never disclosed, even at the end of the film. We only learn from newspaper interviews later that there is a hidden philosophy behind the setup.

As the title suggests, the film's protagonist is inspired by the life and times of Robbie Williams from Take That. For the uninformed—including many in the intended audience—namely, the non-British—the recurring question is: "Robbie, who?" This same factor contributed to the film's lack of success at the box office.

Anthropomorphically speaking, we have evolved from primates. As we transition from chimpanzees to Homo sapiens, we technically become a 'better man.' Over time, as we move into the future, we aspire to be better than the generation before us. But what do we mean by being a better man? Here is a piece of advice: do not ask your respective spouses. They could provide an endless list of all your shortcomings and how you might improve as a person. 

We can begin by taking responsibility for our actions, behaviours, and words. This is an effective strategy for expressing ourselves and improving our communication skills. It is believed that suppressing negative emotions can lead to frequent violent outbursts or destructive behaviours.

This biopic portrays Robbie Williams as a CG-animated chimpanzee, reflecting his feeling of being less evolved than others. This may have stemmed from the self-destructive behaviours he engaged in and the pain he caused to his loved ones. It illustrates how a nobody from a small town was chosen to be part of a boyband. It recounts his struggles growing up with an absent father and his efforts to fit in with the other band members. After enduring a life beset by a whirlwind of drugs and alcohol and causing suffering to those close to him, he ultimately became a better man. He turned his life around and made amends.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

Follow your heart?

A Hidden Life (English/German;2019)

Director: Terence Malick

This is one of the movies that kept my eyes locked on the screen even after the credits rolled. It presents a long-lasting quandary about divinity and our purpose on Earth.

Most movies that we see usually depict Germans as a whole of homogeneous block that unequivocally supports Hitler and what he was doing to uplift Germany from the clutches of hopelessness. For a change, the main character in this film actually stood against German nationalism in the Hitler style. A devout Christian and a conscientious objector to conscription into the Army, Franz Jägerstätter opposes Hitler's rhetoric of a superior race. In his everyday life, Franz is a simple farmer living happily on the hillside of Austrian country, minding his wife, three little daughters, and the unending farm work.

So when he is called to serve the Army and state his allegiance to Hitler by instituting the Nazi Salute, he naturally refuses. Franz is arrested and imprisoned. Before his arrest, the people in the village were already looking at Franz's family scornfully. After his arrest, his family was boycotted by everyone, save for some who gave support, albeit clandestinely.

In prison, Franz is verbally and physically abused and told to just utter his loyalty to Hitler and get scot-free. Franz stuck onto his guns like a divine decree and endured the gamut - insults and grieve. All through his incarceration, he has an internal struggle with whether what he is doing is the right thing. All these were recorded in Franz's written communication with his wife, Fani. They provide the basis for the film. Franz's soliloquy is echoed in the voiceovers. Franz was finally executed. The rest of the story tells the hardship Fani, their daughters, and Franz's mother endure in making a life for themselves.

The burning questions that went through my mind were these.

We are social animals and are somewhat skewed in our thinking to be in sync with the thought of the majority. Perhaps because we are all clueless about our real purpose on Earth, we grope along and clutch on straws. We try to convince ourselves that we are indeed doing the right by apeing others. We follow the powerful, the wealthy, and the elders as we feel they are more knowledgeable about things in the world. At the same time, we realise these people are mere mortals like us, equally ignorant of the right path. The leaders also have vested interests. Is it not helpful for a shepherd if his flock is abundant and well-fed? The scary part is that the shepherd would one day lead them to the slaughterhouse.

The almighty, omnipresent and omnipotent in all his wisdom through the Book of John, has wielded to his congregation, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33).

Franz saw the events surrounding the war, the superiority of one race over the other, and saluting a man with these ideas as wrong. However, the verse in John convinced him that what he was doing was right, just as Jesus fought against the hypocrites in Judea. Just like the event on Cavalry Hill that changed the world, Franz was convinced that his resistance would have lasting impressions.

A man plants a mango tree, but the generations after him are the ones who reap the benefits the tree offers. They stop to rest under its shade and occasionally sink their teeth into the succulent fruit. Nobody turns around to thank or say a prayer to the planter of the tree. For all they are concerned, the tree just happened to be there! We should do things expecting returns. It is for the generation next.

We are responsible for our dependents if our actions affect those who will come after us. Franz has specific duties as a father, son, and husband on Earth. Is he relegating his duties by being an absent parent? His kids will grow up with the trauma of not having a father, the wife without a companion, and the mother with the ache of burying the son she delivered. Can Franz be so cocksure that he will indeed find his place in the promised land? Is he convinced that what he did was indeed what God wanted him to do? Guess we will never know!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

Sin all the way?

That particular holiday, I decided to go for a run. Just as I was completing my 10km, coming around a corner, my eyes locked on two kittens. They huddled together, appearing scared, looking at all the things swiftly passing them. They were not shivering; the sun was warming up the morning. Their eyes reminded me of many cartoons that portray little Tom as a pathetic-looking cat pleading for attention from his masters.

I asked myself what would happen to them and how they landed in a world so hostile. It is no fault of theirs. They, or even we, did not ask to be born on Earth. As I do not remember asking. Just because some cat decided to be horny, again through no fault of daddy cat, the two kittens came to be. Daddy cat was programmed by Nature that it was mating season. Mommy cat was coerced to give in, for it was her oestrus cycle.

If the pitiful state of the kittens' existence was totally unnecessary and could have been prevented by Nature, instead of subjecting them defenceless to the elements, were the forces that created them a mistake? Was copulation and all the forces that paved the way for the sexual act to happen culpable of wrongdoings? The force that made all of us a wrong act, a sin? Our existence as human beings must be a mistake, all products of the Original Sin. We should not exist in the first place.

In Dicken's England, this must have been the scene. Many children must have been left in orphanages or on the streets. For no fault of theirs, they came to be. With the loosening of moral fibre in society, maybe perpetuated by increasing social divide, with the rich able to buy sex and the poor willing to lose anything for a dime, and ignorance about contraception, orphans started roaming the streets of fog-filled Victorian London. Seeing them singing for their supper and being shoved around, in my mind, they must have been no different from the cats I stumbled upon that morning.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

Like a 'turn-turtled' tortoise?

Kasaba (The Small Town, Turkish; 1997)

Director: Nuri Bilge Ceylan

 When we were young, we were told this and that. We were given the impression that if we followed that prescribed path, everything would be okay. Do not stray away from that, and all will be alright. Nobody told us about the shifting goalposts and the unforeseen variables. Our parents wanted us to be a level better than them. That kind of reinforced upon us that they were an embarrassment. We did not want to be anything else but a mould of them. We strive and strive. Still, in the end, like it or not, we would end up thinking of them, thinking like them and repeating all the things they once told and found nonsensical.

Nature has other plans. A mishap here and a liaison with the wrong company there. It is mindboggling what disastrous effect a dead parent or a disappearing parent has on the children. Even political turmoil or a natural catastrophe may upset the children's path to adulthood. Little things like the company we keep may alter the trajectory of our lives. Little decisions made at the spur of the moment or even much deliberation can have unexpected outcomes. It is what it is, and it is not in the best interest to brood about life that could have been. Instead, we should try to maximise the rut that we are in. 

This slow-moving story lays down just that. It is centred around a family sitting around a fire roasting corn and opening up about their respective lives. They have a problem with the lack of opportunities in the small village. What starts with the children wanting to hear stories snowballs into something big. The elders bemoan the hardship endured in their lives. One of the younger men feels slighted. He is probably having PTSD after serving in the Army. He just cannot get himself back on his feet again. In his youth, he just wanted to get the hell out of his village. Now, it seems he cannot get himself out. Another, despite his high overseas academic qualifications, wastes his time in the village. 

Ironically, everyone wants to go out far and wide to explore the world, but in their silver years, they return to their hometown to spend their remaining and die to be buried among their loved ones.

Even though we fantasise about our childhood as innocent, carefree and stress-free, the reality is far from it. Children can be pretty nasty. The vile that comes out from their mouth can be quite caustic. Not all of their actions can be viewed as adorable and cute. Many are bullies and can be physical with no remorse. To top it up, he will eventually not be punished for their actions. The people receiving their maleficence will just have to pick themselves up and grow some fortitude.

The presentation also includes many eye-catching black-and-white photographs of the Turkish countryside and many interesting still shots. 

Many of us turn out alright, escaping the hardship that befell our parents and the ones before them. Some are not so lucky. They are like the upturned tortoise in the movie. The 'turn turtle' tortoise in this arrested state is a metaphor for being stuck in a situation, struggling but just unable to rescue himself from his predicament.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

Finding the Fulcrum

 https://borderlessjournal.com/2024/09/16/finding-the-fulcrum/

I decided to care for my ailing octogenarian mother, not because she willed me a great fortune or because I have a great liking to care for the sick. Neither do I want to gaslight her for all the not-so-nice things she said about me and my family in better health all through her healthy life.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons 

Simple living is virtous?

Perfect Days (Japanese, 2023)
Director: Wim Wenders

(Please note: It is plural, not singular. Every day is a perfect day, and there are many!)

This is a reminder to recreational cyclists over 60: Just enjoy every opportunity that comes your way. By the twist of fate or alms from karma, you can go out, pedal, and feel the wind whisk by as you zoom downhill. Only some people are gifted with the privilege to do this. There is no need to outdo a fellow cyclist, go all out for a personal record, or invest in a state-of-the-art, spanking-new machine to keep up with the Joneses. Every completed cycling route happens on a perfect day. There will be many perfect days.

This beautifully crafted film gets all my thumbs up. It moves very slowly with apparently no definite direction, but that, in essence, that is the message behind the movie. We should find happiness in the things around us. 

The protagonist, Hirayama, is a creature of routine. He gets up to the rhythmic pace of a street sweeper sweeping the street. From that, it is like clockwork. Folding his mattress neatly, washing up, trimming his moustache, slipping into his overalls, and getting his keys organised, he exits his door. He looks out gleefully at the morning sky. Next is coffee from the vending machine, and gets into his working van. In the truck, he listens to songs that suit his mood on a cassette player! He is a proud, dedicated worker who cleans public toilets. 

Even though he realises that he is viewed with condescension, he knows his job is essential and does it diligently. 

His lunchtime routine is also set. Armed with a packet of drinks and a sandwich, he sits on the same park bench every day, observing people and seeing the ray of light dancing through the shadows of the leaf (Komorebi*). He snaps moments he finds something fascinating on his analogue automatic camera (with physical films!). His mobile phone is also an analogue. He is content without learning to take digital photos or using apps like Spotify. He sneers at them and is pleasantly surprised that his cassette can fetch much money if sold. He is happy having his daily bath at the public bath and eating from the same stall at the food court. Once in a while, he would visit a lady who runs her small restaurant and sometimes sings for her customers.

A few things happen in his mundane life. His niece, his sister's daughter, runs away from her wealthy home for a few days. Hirayama's sister turns up, and we learn about his animosity or disagreement with his ailing father. The lady restaurant, whom Hirayama secretly fancies, is seen caught in a passionate embrace with an unknown man.  

He threads everything in a stride and never fails to catch up by reading classic short stories and essays before he retires for the night, including Shakespeare and Faulkner. 

Our minds like to wander. Probably because of that, a regimental style of life is prescribed to live right. We are told to live simply. Unfortunately, it does not work at a collective level. If everyone maintains an Epicurean form of living, being content with the bare minimum and not venturing beyond his comfort zone or, like Sissyphus, accepting his fate as someone who needs to find happiness within his endless rolling up the boulder and it rolling back, the human race would still be dwelling in caves! 'Now is now' and 'next time is next time', as Hiroyama advocates, give peace of mind to an individual, not protect the community from adversities. 4.5/5.

* Komorebi is a Japanese word that means the play of sunlight through leaves. 

** Hirayama's excellent cassette collection includes Lou Reed, the Kinks, Otis Redding, Velvet Underground, the Rolling Stones, and more

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death. Arthur Schopenhauer.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

Lost in KL?

Lost in Bukit Bintang?

It has been a long since I came to this side of town. More than 30 years ago, this place was 'happening' like the lingo in those days. A place brightly lit with neon lights, the epitome of capitalism, the enticement of the giant evil as it ushers in its sheep to the slaughter. Innovative advertising and enchanting window dressing were baits to detach the salaryman from his hard-earned in a jiffy. That is capitalism 101. There were a few choices back then, and Bukit Bintang was it. The place to be for the hip and trendy.

Now, I feel lost. Walking on the footpath, I feel like a foreigner in my own 'Tanah Tumpah Darah Ku'. Everyone passing me looks foreign, speaking in incomprehensible tongues. Even the servers at the stall that line the footpath do not look local.

Like a deer caught in the headlights, I felt like the proverbial deer that entered the village (Rusa masuk desa). I was too afraid of how things had morphed so fast since the last time I brought my kids here.

Oh, deer! An Englishman in New York?

Come to think of it, this is how my 84-year-old mother would be feeling right now. Born at a time when Malaya was under the tooth-and-nail of the Japanese Army, she must have a green, lush, malaria-laden tropical country transform into an oasis of modernity with skyscraping structures lining its skyline. With modernity came automation, artificial intelligence and self-working services that needed users' input. Computers and remotes are complicated for the non-IT-savvy individuals who missed the boat to educate themselves to be computer-literate. To top it all, the mind is willing, but the body and brain functions are weak, frustrating any attempts at wanting to partake in events of the changed world. 

With declining cognitive function, I fear the day when she would feel like a drowning person struggling to hold on to straws, trying to make sense of the murmurs that surround her telling her to do something...

What is it for the rest of us who want to be included in the wave of changes? It constantly reminds us that we should stay abreast of things. We do not want to be like India, thrown under the bus while Britain rode the bus of the Industrial Revolutions' first and second waves at the expense of India's raw materials and market. India is now doing a catch-up. Why bother with the bus now that we have hoverboards (hint: Back to the Future)!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.