A wedding - a celebration of life?

BP was a year junior to me at university. Coming from a similar family background, we clicked. Our paths would occasionally meet in the daily hustle and bustle of our academic lives. Our course required us to spend two of our five academic years away from the main campus, at the university's teaching hospital in the East Coast State of Kelantan.

It was in my last year that BP used to hang out in my room in between his long studying hours. We used to chat about little things, such as quirky occurrences during ward rounds and other similar topics.

Soon, it was 1988, and it was convocation time, marking the beginning of the different paths life would take us. Working in various hospitals, we acquired the necessary skills to progress in our field of expertise.

Periodically, we kept in touch, trying to stay in touch as often as possible. It was the pre-digital era; hence, we had only depended on landlines and physical meetings.

Just last month, I was pleasantly surprised when BP called me on my mobile phone to invite me to his daughter's wedding. It took place in a private hall in a small town.

I used to think weddings were something personal, only to be shared within a close family circle and friends. That a large celebration was opulence and a waste of money that could be put to better use.

After attending the celebration, it dawned upon me that it is more than flaunting one's wealth or one that irks the roving eyes. I began to view wedding celebrations in a different light. It is a celebration of the path that both families traversed. It brings together all the people who were somehow involved in shaping a young couple into what they are today. They must have gone through their ups and downs together. This moment must be the victory lap for their labour of love, not for others to see but for themselves to bask in the glory for a task well done.

As mysterious as life can be, I noticed that many people BP invited for the wedding celebration were also known to me, but not through the standard university connection. The same people who crossed BP's life also crossed mine, albeit at different times during training in various towns. So it was a good catch-up time for me too. Some of them I had lost contact with for over twenty years.

Life springs so many surprises. Just like how I met BP many years after graduating in 1988. It was 1995, and as I was walking along the cobbled streets of Edinburgh one warm November afternoon, who did I bump into? A jubilant BP who had just passed his membership examinations at the Royal College of Medicine! And I was given the honour to share the proud moment of him receiving the scroll from the President of the College.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

Learn to agree to disagree!

President Thomas Jefferson, left, and his predecessor,
President John Adams. (Feuding Fathers)
Getty Images

At this time of one's life (stepping into the seventh decade of existence), one often wonders about all the people who made their appearances all along my life. Some of theirs were short and sweet. Some left with a sour aftertaste. Some got lost in the annals of times. Occasionally, I had people who took everything wrongly and left anything but amicably. One did not like the sight of me and had nothing nice to say about me. Well, what can I say but that the feeling was mutual.

Recently, I read about the friendship between the two Founding Fathers of the United States of America. They were not really best friends. They had a big job to do for a greater cause. They looked at things from different perspectives; both felt compelled to defend their conviction until the end. Towards that end, they argued ferociously and wrote stinging letters to each other but all the time, acquiring brickbats and respect simultaneously.

After the British were sent packing from the 13 colonies of the New World, the new nation had to decide how to run its country. Would they want tight central control like the British had before Independence? They realised every colony had its own need, and to have one vision for the whole nation would be disastrous. It was like the British all over again. The other side was modelling a country with Republic principles after Rome.

The Independence Declaration was no divine decree. For a long time, the founding could not agree upon its execution. Adams believed in a strong central government, whereas Jefferson championed states' rights. They competed against each other for Presidentship after Washington refused to hold the post for a third term. Adams became the second President of the USA. He offered Jefferson the post of Vice President, but Jefferson declined. The subsequent election was won by Jefferson, leaving Adams bitter.

The duo refused to communicate with each other for 12 years till a fellow Declaration signer, Benjamin Rush, made them write to each other. They vehemently argued the merits of their convictions via more than the 185 letters that they wrote to each other. Each did not want the other to outdo them. Coincidentally, they died four hours apart on July 4th, Independence Day. A sweet end to two men who gave much of their lives to the foundation of America.

Closer to home, I recall another intense discussion panel that my friends and I used to attend. It was an adrenaline-rushing, temper-flaring, emotionally charging discussion on life and its meaning. We learned many things from each other that no teacher or school could teach. All that came to zilch because of some other unrelated miscommunication. Now, we are all left groping in the dark again, finding our own answers alone through our own follies.

Rashomon: The Truth Is Often Mutable And Ambivalent

We should learn that opinions vary. We should learn to agree to disagree. The truth is an elusive shadowplay. As Rashomon tells us, the truth has many forms. All can be right.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

How one prospers the other!

Wham! (Documentary; 2023)
Director: Chris Smith

This documentary is a poignant one. It plucks the heartstrings of many a child of the 80s. Those who grew to appreciate British Invasion music of the 80s of pop-sync, thick hair days and gaudy attire will indeed have wet eyes reminiscing the times when the duo Wham! hit the airwaves and the night market compilation cassettes.

It was a time when young girls used to go gaga over George Michael (aka Georgio Panayiotou @Yogh) 's hair, musculature and Colgate white dentition and Cypriot looks. Die-hard fans of Wham! or rabid fans of George Michael's would all be too familiar with the genesis of their collaboration; for me, this knowledge comes 40 years too late.

This Netflix documentary is done in a captivating way, avoiding too many current interviews of famous reminiscing about the good old times. Instead, it uses scrapbook format and old footage of Andrew Ridgeley and George Michael in the 80s and 90s when they slowly climbed the ladder of superstardom.

Their friendship started at 12 when George landed as a bespectacled shy immigrant student who found it hard to get into the school crowd. George somehow found the company in Andrew, also partially immigrant, the happy-go-lucky frequent prankster. George looked up at Andrew and slowly built confidence. Over the years, they found commonality in music. One thing led to another. George started composing songs, and the free and easy Andrew just tagged along. Unlike Andrew, George had big ambitions and somehow grew too big for a duo teen bop band and started a solo career.

This documentary ends with their 1986 amicable and emotional farewell concert in Wembley Stadium. George Michael's issues with his sexuality and brushes with the media and police had not surfaced then. Afar as the world was concerned, here was a young, highly talented music composer - songwriter and performer dying to unleash his talents to the world. He was a darling of the press and paparazzi until they came and bit his behind in years to come.

Imagine from Andrew Ridgeley's point of view. There was an awkward new boy, George, who used to look up at him and follow him around in and out of school. Slowly George built confidence and found his footing in what he wanted to do in life. Maybe it was Andrew's prodding. Together, they had a jolly good time. They went places and did things. They reached heights that low, middle class boys like themselves in the grey, economically gloomy Thatcherian times can dream of. They had it good when the going what was good. He unleashed the superstar buried within George, and the bird had to fly off the nest to explore newer pastures.

P.S. Wham!'s first record stirred the interest of the British public when their song 'Wham! Rap!' spoke about the ludicrous British welfare system, which could not create jobs for the youngsters but paid them dole instead to enjoy life. They expressed their grief in a piece of then-controversial music called 'rap', which was banned in many radio stations in America.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

 

Past 'use-by-date' shelf life?

The Bad Guy (2022)
Director: Pierre Perifel

Covalent bonds are hailed as one of Nature's strongest bonds. Nevertheless, with the correct amount of energy and the help of appropriate enzymes, it can be broken down into its basic structures. Unlike bonds cemented by DNA or the ones sanctioned by the Elements of Nature, friendship is a convenient arrangement amongst misfits who share the same mental illness. What others refer to as self-demeaning and a sheer waste of time, they find joy and purpose in life.

Since nothing is cast in stone, friends make rules as they go on. They call it a 'bro code'. The code, a whimsical array of regulations that are made up as the friendship goes on, protects each other's interests and maintains zen in other concrete long-lasting relationships.

In the good old days, before our digital devices filled up the void of long-haul journeys or protracted stop-overs, we actually struck up a conversation with a fellow passenger who looked charming enough. We may open up knowing pretty well that the friendship would last no longer than the journey.

Do all friendships stand the test of time? Do they all have a 'use-by-date' shelf life? Is friendship as flitting as a showroom of a departmental store that has a makeover with each season sale? Since this bond is not tangible but written in the sands of time, even a zephyr can erase it. A little dent in ego, a misspoken utterance, an unintended gesture here and there, an unsaid, undone action all may crumble this loose association.

What was supposed to be like taking a bullet, sharing the joy, the cries, the sweat and seasons in the sun can just go bust in a moment.  Keeping secrets, warts, and all are, just self-pleasing dialogues that act as fillers for time-pass. Will it end like in a feel-good movie, or just one mentioned in eulogies about the good old times remains to be seen?

Five misfits, often mentioned as the scum of societies, the Big Bad Mr Wolf, the serpentine Snake, the mean Shark, the poisonous Tarantula and the meat-chewing Piranha live up to the expectation of society. They are The Bad Guys, the lean, sleek, suave bank robbers.

Their last haul trying to steal the coveted 'Golden Dolphin' award goes all wrong. They are busted and have the chance to prove that they can be reformed. Meanwhile, the goody-good two shoes Prof Marmalade, the guinea pig turned scientist-philanthrope, has some things up his sleeves. The Governor, Ms Foxington, tries to convince the gang that it pays to be good despite the bad reputation they have picked up over the years.

A feel-good, chirpy and colourful animated film.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

Bare necessities that we need!

S2B: Seoul to Busan
It is not a race. Ep #1
Meet the P-stars. Ep #2
Fighting the demons! Ep #3

Episode 4: Bare necessities that we need!

It has become a weekend routine to go grinding and spinning around the treacherous hills of Peres, off Hulu Langat, on our vehicles to build up stamina and to prepare ourselves to what may lay ahead in unexplored Land of the Kimchi. The sight of us, five or sometimes six, saddled with our panniers sticking out erect from our rears (of the bicycles) must have stirred the curiosities of many fellow cyclists. 

During one of these outings, a few curious bicyclists inquired about our set-up, accessories and all. 

When we told them of our intentions of touring South Korea on bikes and what they saw were what we were carrying all along our week-long trip, they were understandably astonished. With the usual travellers who try to bargain through the airline staff with their excess baggage, here we were squeezing one week’s requirements into a pannier. 

Only then did it strike me of the number of unnecessary things that we go on accumulating in our lives. We build false attachments and create excessive dependence on unnecessary items that are not essential for our existence. 

A few years ago, a husband-wife friend of mine got into an existential crisis. Going headlong into their newfound passion, they decided to paddle all the way from Kuala Lumpur through Thailand, Cambodia, China, Korea and finally ended their journey at the tip of Hokkaido Island. Relating their experiences later, their one take-home message was ‘we carry redundant baggage that we refuse to unload’. I think they were speaking not literally but at a metaphysical level. This they realised after unloading much of their belongings halfway through their journey when they met a friend who was returning home. 

So next week, on our maiden international trip, we would be leading an Epicurean life. Living simply close to the elements of nature - sun, wind, trees, birds and bees. “Give me water, give me water; I will be a happy man,” says the Epicurean. We will have to make do with the contents of our backpack. 

T -junction to Peres

Like Bablu, the bear in Jungle Book, we are expected to live with the bare necessities, be content with simple pleasures in life, forget the worries and strife and wander around with the company of friends. Was it not also Epicurus who observed friendship at where human nature was sweetest? He considered fellowship essential for a happy life. Unlike love and romance, it ‘goes dancing around the world, announcing to all of us to wake to happiness’. 

'Hakuna Matata' say Timon and Pumba. But then, familiarity also builds contempt. 

And cannot be seen around like vagabond without papers, cash and credit card. Do not leave home without it!

(T-7) 

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

Fighting the demons!

S2B: Seoul to Busan
It is not a race. Ep #1
Meet the P-stars. Ep #2

Episode #3: Fighting the demons!

It seems that humans start off life being fascinated with Nature - toddlers like to get their hands dirty with grime, dirt and soil, and as they grow older, they find union with Nature too. Is this a reminder that we are one with Nature or a hint of the adage 'ashes to ashes, dirt to dirt'!

What started as a weekend outing to Penang to partake a cycling race evolved to something that brought out the memories of the bygone care-free days of our youth. And we were itching for more. The agony of the heat, the sweat, the discomfort, the aches of sore muscles, the tan and the potential fall of the perch were no match for the post-race euphoria of accomplishment and the immersion in the high of endorphins.

Our resident techie, during one of his moment of bore, googled of a secluded highway in South Korea dedicated just for cyclists. It boasts of a 633 km picturesque trail along four main rivers on the Korean peninsula from Seoul to Busan. What started as a river beautification and flood mitigation effort soon became a tourist spot drawing cycling enthusiasts the world over to Korea.

couchonwheels.blogspot.com

Without a second thought, everyone in unison agreed to the idea of making a trip, and before long everyone was looking at the expiry dates on their passports, their work schedules and going online to book their tickets.

Then came the tricky part, the training. Leave it to Coach to prepare the pit to skewer the meat. We, the weekend warriors, in spite of the busy schedules, took the slightest excuse to grind and spin along the periphery highways of Selangor and Negeri Sembilan. Places like Chanang, Titi, Puom, Pares and Bukit Antu which sounded alien to us before became our backyard.

Leave it to cyberspace to supply us loads of information about the going-on and the going-about of the trip. Unfortunately, many of the information with regards to the Four River Trail was in the Korean language. Further exploration revealed a Facebook page explaining cyclists' experiences on their trips in the trail. 

Nietzche reminded us not to be complacent when the going is good or conversely if the going is beyond hopeless. Either way, things would only turn around. Our training was marred with one of our rider having a temporary lapse in concentration that sent him skidding off a corner and his bicycle landing in a six feet deep ditch. Luckily, he flew off his vehicle just to sit nicely on the shoulder of the drain, shaken and stirred. His heroics stunts earned a broken clavicle which was quickly fixed and is on the road to recovery. Other small instances, like a snapped chain and faulty bicycle valve, gave the gang invaluable lessons in crisis management.

Necessity, mother of all inventions!

We have resolved not to let these temporary setbacks dampen the spirit. As they say, it is not the destination that matters, it is the journey that gives the most joy.

Courtesy of FB page - SBB Seoul, Busan and Beyond

(T - 15)

(Next: The Drama, The Uncertainties)

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

Meet the P-stars

S2B: Seoul to Busan
It is not a race. Ep #1
Episode #2: Meet the P-stars.

It is time to see our pedalling stars. Officially there will be seven cyclists. The seventh participant will be joining us from Australia. A young punk teeming with adrenaline and power, he is Coach's son and is doing his secret training to 'keep up' with the oldies.

Coach

@Coach
Spending half of his adult life on the hockey fields, he continued to keep himself fit even after hanging his boots. After his retirement from work, rather than lazing around counting his end of days, he found pleasure in the outdoors.
He remains the driving force in pushing us to explore our true grit. Like Jesus Christ, he goes around recruiting same-minded people who are willing to fight a good fight against surrendering to effects of ageing. 

Wayang

@Wayang
He is the second most seasoned rider in the group. He is nicknamed 'Wayang' (Theatrics) not because he is showy but precisely the opposite reason. He would often start his day lamenting how exhausted he is and how he did no manage a single wink the night before. At the end of the ride, he will be speeding past everybody else.
Always a 'Pekeliling flat' at heart, he enjoys the simple pleasures of life. Not forgetting his roots, he still carries the hidden mojo that sees him through any challenge.  

Tabib

@Tabib
Another dark horse in the group is Tabib. Named so because of his profession, (Arabic for healer), he has been secretly training on his own after an unforgettable, sweat-drenching, heart-pouncing outing with the group months earlier. He came out strong like Rocky after months of hibernation. Like a majestic swan, the little ugly duckling had transformed slim and durable. No hills remained unconquerable for this former state hockey player. Cycling clears his mind to think of the next topic to discuss in his next radio show.

@Rabbit
Known for his speed, he is aptly named rabbit. A perfectionist, a stickler to time and a master planner, he worries about everything that may happen and may not. Being higher achiever, after successfully completing a full marathon, the only natural thing to do is to cycle and swim. Come April 2020, he will be a triathlete. Going through an existential crisis, he is still wondering why he is cycling and from what he is running from!

@Bionic Man
The hockey stick would have been another appendage on his body in his teenage and early adulthood. His constant roasting and sweating it out in the hockey field earned his appearance at the national level. That also made his whole body re-aligned and his knees traumatised so severely that it had to replaced at a relatively young age. He did not reach the pinnacle of his achievements lying down. Hence, with the same determination, he laboured through the pains of bilateral knee replacement and the subsequent gruelling physiotherapy. His never-say-die attitude has now brought him up hiking mountains and cycling along interstate highways.

@Chennai Express
This Johnny-come-lately is the latest addition to the gang. Not being of the athletic type, he contended himself jogging around the housing estate. The fear of contracting diabetes, which ran deep in his family history made him run farther. Like Forrest Grump, he kept on running and now cycling, giving much palpitations to the family instead. Nicknamed Chennai Express for his occasional burst of energy that eventually fizzles out much like an express train that starts out with much pomp and splendour but reaches its destination late as usual!

Rabbit

Bionic Man

Chennai Express

(T - 32)
[Next: The Storyline]

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.