Longevity, a boon or a curse?

This newspaper cutting has been making its rounds in many social media groups, especially amongst the senior section of our society. Understandably they embrace the silver hair stage of their lives with much trepidation. It is anybody’s guess what the future holds for each of us. We try, however, to patch up all possibilities and pave all roads for a smooth transition to the other side. As mischievous as it always is, Nature will inevitably come up with some loophole that we never expected and, thus, are ill-prepared.

The generation before us, facing an uncertain future, seeing a world war and migrating for survival, saw education and wealth as a foolproof way to prosperity. Having hardly seen anyone pass their sixth decade of life, everything was done in a hurry. They needed to educate their kids, make a territory their legacy, and save for rainy days as they slowly rode into the sunset after having the pleasure of seeing their offsprings produce offspring.

However, they should have considered the push-pull factor from their Newfoundland and their newfound longevity.

Benefiting by leaps and bounds from the stride in medical development, baby boomers are now living to years thought impossible by their parents. Unlike their parent’s world, the world had grown smaller. The world is at their feet for the millennial to step out into. As per taught to them by their parents, migration to a more prosperous land and the validation of their qualification by a white man as success, they naturally migrate overseas, leaving the old people behind.

Unfortunately, we are creatures of habit. The oldies are left behind, not because of inconvenience but for comfort. The oldies feel safe at havens familiar to them. Hence, they stayed back. Sadly the mind ages slower than the body. This spurs many sad thoughts and needs to endure the maladies of loneliness and physical pain.

Humans are the only species on Earth that nurtures their young for such a long time, and conventionally the oldies are cared for in their twilight years. This turn of events is tricky when the old live long lives at a time when the young are struggling to put their mark on their lives. Care homes and assisted living to fill the gap but can only do so much.

Should we complain about living long lives or being uncared for in our geriatric age group? Money can buy love and medical assistance; that is about it.

The mighty Hang Tuah and even the Pandavas, after they felt unwanted after achieving unsurmountable tasks in their lives, decided to wander off into the wilderness of Gunung Ledang and Meru Hills, respectively, to be one with Nature. Just saying….

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It ain't over till it is over!

Landscape with Figures" by George Tooker (1992)
Trapped in pigeon holes?

I have known Uncle K7 for more than thirty-over years. Ever ready with a gleaming smile, he enjoys having long banter with me every now and then, I think. Periodically, during draggy family functions, we would often be nooked at a corner to discuss his life and times as a young technician in the world of espionage. Working in the Malaysian Field Force as a sergeant, he was in the frontline trying to intercept communist's radio communication using the then avant-garde British and German technology. 

These family gatherings were nothing more than marking of attendance akin to a Mafia family meetings where the same crowd meets, again and again, to reinforce who is who in the family's hierarchal ladder. 

My interactions with Uncle K7 over the years opened up my understanding of mortality, immortality and the purpose of life. Through him, I realised the need to discover, re-discover and continue learning till the end of times. 

Thirty years ago, he was a happy man living in the memories of his working experience. He was retired from work but contented to see the country he fought for morphing into a developed one. He was delighted to see his four daughters blossom into young mothers with beautiful children. And the love of his life was by his side to attend to his whims and fancies.

A few years later, he was telling how he quit his chain-smoking habit. It was a time when he used to flame sixty stick a day. He blamed the British squarely for this unsavoury habit. It seems he picked up the nasty habit in the Force. A pack of imported cigarettes was part of his ration when he went into the jungle for his bandit-busting expeditions. What started as a harmless desire to try ended up as an addiction hard to expel. 

He enjoyed his last stick just before performing his penance at the Tirupathi temple in India. As it was customary to abstain from smoking in the vicinity of the holy site, he complied. Reaching for his habitual stick at the end of any task, he found it tasteless. And he grabbed another; also bland. Suddenly he had an intense abhorrence to the smell of cigarette. He threw away the pack, and henceforth he became an ex-smoker. I learned from him that 'all or none law' or 'cold turkey' are the ways to go. One has to put his mind to something and give his heart and soul to see it materialise. No half measures will do.

Yet another few years later, he was devastated by the sudden passing of the love of his life. The meetings after this era were filled with his accounts of melancholia, reminiscing the spring of his youthfulness. Soon after that, he was diagnosed to have quadruple coronary vessel disease. Against medical advice, he opted to go conservative, shunning any surgical intervention. Despite being labelled as a ticking time bomb, he was ready to embrace the offer of the walk to the Otherside. In his mind, his job on Earth was over; the sowing, the nurturing and the continuity was done. But time kept ticking with him, not away from him.

He later went on to immortalise his life experiences in a memoir, marking his contributions to the genesis of the newly independent nation called Malaya.

Now, twenty years after the diagnosis, he is still a happy man, embracing life as is offered to him. Still wearing his trademark grin, he replied with glee in his eyes when asked what he is up to. Since my last visit, he had discovered the magic of Youtube and the wealth of knowledge buried in cyberspace. He has delved into the art of face-reading (physiognomy) and numerology. On that evening, I was the guinea pig!

I am amazed that Uncle K7 always has something to do to keep himself busy. Many of his contemporaries are departed; hence, he has to explore and re-kindle himself to be occupied so that the light within him does not stop flickering.

At the time of retirement, I have seen many who just drop everything to plunge into what they think as well deserved break after years of breaking back for the family and for themselves. It may not be the best thing for the mind. It is as if one is just buying time before the Grimm Reaper's arrival. It should not be this way.

Being lazy or just resting?

Reminding ourselves of what Karl Marx said about capitalism's evils, he emphasised the importance of free time and shorter working hours for increasing productivity. Having time to oneself to indulge in activities they like give meaning to their existence. Since working hours are not going to get any shorter, but we tend to live longer, the only logical thing to do would be to use the time after retirement as a time for liberation. The silvered haired has the most opportune time to immerse himself in that something he wanted to do all his life but never had the time, resources or peace of mind to do as he was busy finding his footing in the material world.

"Free time is time for the full development of the individual - Karl Marx."

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In the twilight years...

Kominsky Method (miniseries, Seasons 1 -2; 2018-19)
Netflix


People may have led different lives using separate yardsticks as guides to pave their journeys in life, but as they sail towards the tail-ends of their shelf lives, their concerns are the same. They worry about how they would spend the remnants of their human existence. Appreciating that end is nigh, every mild ailment is perceived as the coup de grâce. Many of the familiar faces grace the obituary column. They wonder whether the life that they led could have been better. Regrets start trickling in. So do guilt. The dilemma of 'what ifs' and 'if only' starts playing in their minds. After some soliloquy, they would probably realise that given the circumstances, that was the best they could do.

Invariably, the question of offspring would stream in. The elders would go all out to pave a safe path for the young to pursue. Unfortunately, Nature dictates that the next generation would rebel. Perhaps this is to ensure diversity within a gene pool. Maybe, growing in shielded environments removed the guard that the before had to survive trying times. This would invite frequent intergenerational loggerheads. Ego comes in the way for reconciliation.

Regrets of omissions will be a few. Over time with the experiences drilled by the Life's School of Hard Knock, it would be clear as water their stupid actions made in the spring of youth.  Rather than crying over spilt milk, they would come in terms with their deficiencies.

Growing old is difficult. The world is only for the young. It has no patience for the aged. Having the other half can sometimes help, but it may be a bane as well, especially if the significant other is a source of stress. With the ever-changing family dynamics, many end up alone in their twilight years. 

This sit-com starring Michael Douglas and Alan Arkin highlights the difficulties of growing old, the heartaches, the pain, the fear and the ailments. It pokes fun at many of the things that only the seniors would appreciate. Simple things like having a good stream of urine mean a lot to an old man. He cannot understand why being politically correct is so important. Why should everyone be so easily offended? When did cultural appropriation become a thing? Why don't the youngsters find their jokes funny? When they start a conversation with a young lady, they are labelled as 'dirty old man'. Their interaction with children is viewed as inappropriate.

The two seasons with eight half-an-hour episodes has had heads turning and a third season is in the pipeline.

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The light does not shine forever...

Admit it. One cannot remain in the limelight forever. Everyone has their temporary sojourn in the hall of fame, after which they would have to relinquish their baton the next Johnny-come-lately. One cannot stay perched on top of the pecking order forever. Professional decline generally happens in all professions, some earlier than the others. Athletes commence their declines quite early, whereas teachers, writers and researchers lose it much later. Peak performances of many professionals rarely happen at an advanced age.

Not everyone takes the dimming of the spotlight gracefully.

Charles Darwin 1809-1882

Charles Darwin was just 27 when he returned on the Beagle with his discoveries in botany and zoology. From that time, for the next 30 years, he was the go-to scientist who published the famous 'On the Origin of Species'. After 50, Darwin hit a brick wall. Not keeping up with mathematical calculations that were so important in later researches, he became irrelevant and depressed.

On the other hand, Johann Sebastian Bach was also a musical prodigy early in his career. New artistic trends and excellent classical compositions by his children (Carl Phillipe and Johann Christian) made his Baroque-style music passè. Instead of plunging into melancholy, Johann Bach became an instructor and diverted his attention to other areas. He enjoyed the prestige.

Cognitive and performance decline is inevitable after a certain age. The question is whether one is going to embrace it like Darwin or like Bach? Be like Darwin, and you will be the grumpy old man who whines about everything and sings praises of the good old days. Be a Bach, spread your wisdom to the younger generation and be a hip and happy senior citizen.


REF: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2019/07/work-peak-professional-decline/590650/

(P.S. Apparently there are two concepts of intelligence, the fluid and the crystalline one. The fluid intelligence is the raw intellectual horsepower that reasons, analyse and solve novel problems. It is abundant in innovators and entrepreneurs. It peaks early in adulthood only to diminish after the 30s and 40s. Crystalline intelligence, in comparison, involves the ability to use past knowledge. As knowledge increases with age, historians, writers and poets find their voices late in life.

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