A little self indulgence, maybe?

The Etymologicon: 

A Circular Stroll through the Hidden Connections of the English Language
Author: Mark Forsyth (2011)


This book will excite you if you were one of those, me included, who gets excited knowing things that add minimal value to your mundane day-to-day life. It gives you a false satiety that you are a bigger being for realising some worthless fact. In no imaginable way is it going to improve your life. Perhaps, a transient warm fuzzy feeling when you sigh and say, "Ha. I see, that's what!"

Well, reading is not about passing examinations. Sometimes, it helps you pass that awkward moment in a boring or break the ice with a total stranger when mysteriously transplanted in the company of a haughty visitor that your wife conveniently pushed to you to entertain. These are moments when you find worthless information, a boon that could morph that awkward silence into lighter moments. The danger in this strategy is that your wife's unsavoury friends could change camp to be yours!

You need to know that Hawaii was almost called Sandwich Island. Its natives called it such long before Captain Cook 'discovered' it and showcased it to the rest of the world. Cook wanted to name Hawaii Sandwich Island to honour the Earl of Sandwich. Luckily, Cook died before it could be official. He was killed by the natives. Well, that is what you get when the Native's kindness is reciprocated with diseases and the instigation of fights.

Now, why is Sandwich named Sandwich? Well, this Earl of Sandwich was once a compulsive gambler. In one instance, we went on a gambling spree for two days. The concerned servants packed his meat, vegetables, and such between two pieces of bread and served them to him to cut unnecessary time for dining and serving. For the record, sliced bread did not come till 1928. People found the idea refreshing, and thus came about 'the sandwich'.

This information may be helpful when you start a conversation at a party where you do not like the attendees and want to make them feel stupid. It may also be a valuable tool to extricate yourself from their friends list.

If you are stuck with a young person, someone young at heart or is into anime, cosplay, manga or even Godzilla Minus One, you could start talking to them about the genesis of Godzilla's name. Godzilla was actually born Gojira in the Japanese imagination in 1954, after being pounded with tonnes of American nukes during WW2. When Gojira grew big and went places, especially to Hollywood, he was christened 'Godzilla' to roll smoothly on an Anglophile's tongue. Pretty soon, Godzilla filled the masses' psyche to mean something gargantuan. Godzilla burger was not made from a mutated Japanese life form but denoted a massive burger. Mozilla Firefox intended to be the most prominent web browser after Netscape at its inception.

This book could be a go-to while waiting for an appointment or boarding a flight rather than just watching each other in the lobby. You may risk being taken for a stalker and told, "I don't feel comfortable you looking at me!" You question the commonly held notion that God is perfect in all His creations. You were wondering what He was thinking when He made her. What was He smoking?

P.S. Thanks, Cousin Joe, for this book. Never a dull moment!

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Beyond strengthening ties?

Under the guise of surveillance, imperial powers went to all four corners of the world. Their true intentions, as was eventually discovered by the locals, were reconnaissance work to ascertain terrains and landscapes for economic potentials and geopolitical purposes, not for the development of mankind. Neither was it to garner scientific facts to explore our civilisation. It was business. The icing on the cake was exploring how natives could eventually be 'civilised' via Western education and the introduction of The Book.

From the 18th century onwards, the Western world was excited, discovering new exotic lands with wealth beyond belief. Pretty soon, no combative teams started scouting new lands in Africa, India, China and various other parts of Asia. Under the guise of doing land surveying, whites were seen around Afghanistan, Siberia, the Middle East and the Far East. When geopolitical turmoils embroiled in these regions, the armies of the imperial forces suddenly found their knowledge of the area useful to usurp lands. Their understanding of the region's economic potential was also instrumental in concentrating their meddling efforts. Think Lawrence of Arabia, the Britishers' strange relationship with the Saud family and finds of petroleum. Think of Alexender Burnes and the subsequent Kabul Expedition.

Hence, there grew a faction of Caucasians who knew more about the Orientals, the Indians or the Aztecs than the natives themselves. They essentially taught the natives who they were and what their ancestors thought and lived. They rewrote their histories to suit the day's narrative, with the imperialists appearing as saviours.

Students at Beijing Foreign Studies University
©tamilculture.com

So naturally, when Tamil-speaking Chinese appeared on the vernacular radio, specifically on the RTM Minnal network, to be interviewed, many Tamil-speaking Malaysian Indians were on cloud nine, proud of their mother tongue, happy seeing it going places. I remained sceptical.

In July 2023, Kuala Lumpur hosted the 11th International Tamil Conference. Tamil scholars from all over the world gathered to sing praises of one of the oldest surviving languages in the world. Delegates immerse themselves in the language's beauty, richness, glitter and exquisiteness. The Tamil language does not stand alone as a mode of communication. Tamil history, ethics, devotion, literature, and recipes for a meaningful life are intertwined with the language.

For many years, TikTok and YouTube have showcased many snippets of Chinese people conversing proficiently in accented Tamil. They show many of their colleagues indulging in Tamil foods, mouthing traditional Tamil poems and recitals, all dressed in traditional Indian costumes. Beijing University even provides space for learning Tamil and other Indian languages at the undergraduate level.  

Is it for the love of the culture, or are they pursuing a tongue-rolling challenge when the Chinese students signed up for these courses? Is there another sinister master plan by the powers that be?

With the regular redrawing of its borders and standing tall, not answerable to international courts, their intentions may be anything but altruistic. History has proven that even gifts-bearing well wishes who turn up at one's land have no noble intentions. Pakistan, Sri Lanka and Zambia can bear witness to all the business wranglings and hand sleigh movements that got them into a mess.

Take the example of the Spratly Islands in the middle of the South China Sea. Even though for years, that spread of uninhabitable islands was disputed amongst Vietnam, the Philipines, and Malaysia, one starry night, China decided that they wanted to occupy it. And that is how it has been since. China just kept building mammoth structures in the no man's land at its disputed border with India till one day, it was found to have brought its warriors there.

There is no smoke without fire if lessons from past events were anything to go by. The keenness to acquire knowledge in other people's languages and cultures may belie underlying private intentions. It may not be just a foreign diplomacy. Everybody likes to think they have a genuine interest in learning each others' culture and language so that all can hold hands and sing Kumbayah. Maybe that is the truth. On the one hand, we demand that others respect our language, culture, and way of life. In the same breath, we become suspicious when they do. 

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Now you know!

Heard that the word 'hunky' does not only refer to a buff guy with muscles. It could be a derogatory word for a white guy, specifically one from the East European block. 

At the turn of the 19th century US, many Slavic and Hungarian economic and religious refugees from the ailing Austro-Hungarian Empire turned up at Pennsylvania and West Virginia coal mines. As per the norm, many immigrants were hardworking people who were there to earn and go back and lead a better life. A group of young blokes expressed their newly found freedom in the saloons and sin dens. Over time, their alcohol-filled emotions would spiral into street fights and general public nuisance. Many were Hungarians and Pollacks (Polish), collectively called Hunyaks or Honyaks. 

Maybe because these manual labourers were defined with well-endowed physiques and using slur terms against any group became politically incorrect, the word hunky is now exclusively for a buffed person. 

Curiously, the words' hongkies' and 'honkytonk' are not precisely accepted kindly. People originating from Hong Kong rather be referred to as Hongkongers. 'Hongkie' is officially a slur word. Mick Jagger of The Rolling Stones penned 'Honkytonk Women' after his trip to Portugal. He watched some cowboys at work and imagined probably sexual escapades in hongky-tonk bars. Incidentally, the music played in honky-tonk bars is called hillbilly music, referring to the loud music and bawdy comedy that accompanies it. It is a low-brow establishment with drunken patrons having a jolly good time. Jagger's lyrics do not precisely elevate its status. The music is catchy, nevertheless. 

Incidentally, in urban lingo, hongky-tonk refers to the gluteal region of a female, particularly a cute one. Now you know.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

Between creativity and mechanics?

Kattradhu Thamizh (கற்றது தமிழ், Learnt Tamil; 2007)

To remind ourselves, a line from Dead Poets Society...

John Keating (played by Robin Williams): We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, 'O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?' Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?

The society tells you, especially if you are from the developing world, it needs to progress. Material improvement and physical development are viewed as a sure sign of prosperity. Science and technology are paths towards this end. Languages, literature, philosophy and art are frowned upon as a waste of time. It is characterised as the domain of the bourgeoisie; not in line with the advancement but instead of decadence.

In our small discussion group, we often discuss the current trend amongst the millennials who find the traditional science subject like medicine, engineering and core sciences unappealing but instead venture into finance,  banking and management. With all due respect to these fields above, the world actually needs scientists who, in previous generations, propelled the world into the next stage of refrigeration, telecommunication, aviation, construction and breakthroughs in medicine and farming. It does not need managers who excel in re-packaging previously unsold products with re-branding or creative companies which monetise everything. The comfort that we have been having since the Industrial Revolution was sparked by science.

So, is learning languages and the arts still relevant at this age and time? 

To take a cue from Amma, she would say, "Nice to listen to a song and appreciate the arts, but it does not put food on the table." That mentality probably echoed amongst most middle class Malaysian Indian families. The Tamil language was listened to but not spoken by their children. It was reserved only to talk to lowly coolies who cut your grass or cleaned your drains. This language used to be associated with crime, juvenile delinquency and decline. Hence, to emphasis on English and the fixation to converse with it. The richness, the past glory and the plethora of pearls of wisdom imbibed in the Tamil language are lost in the annals of time. This is inevitable. Economic dominance is king.

This film was listed as a must-watch Tamil movie in a post in Quora. One can probably lead a full life even without viewing this one, but nevertheless, the cinematography and the thought-provocation is worth the while. 

Prabakar, a smart student with a Masters in Tamil studies, finds life in Chennai very tough. It was the 21st century and India was drawn into the internet boom. Americanism and computers were the drawing forces. Tamil is ridiculed. He finds out in a hard way that with Tamil, one can only earn a living by writing cheesy poems and penning flirty love letters for fornicators. This, together with his traumatic childhood, the jilting of the love of his life and the frequent brush with the authorities, turns him into a psychopathic killer. 

Mediocre students doing computer studies and able to converse in English, he observed, fit nicely into the job market. Multinational companies pounce upon them for their telecommunication knowledge (read: call centres) and software engineering. Tamil language graduates were sneered and thought to have not reached the mark to qualify for anything 'worthwhile'. 

But then, lest we forget that the initial earth-shattering success of Apple and I-phone was not merely to their technological innovation but in their ability to combine both creativity, marketing as well as software development. In other words, the sciences and the arts combined. 

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

Oh deary, silly me!

(...Cont. from Oh deer, my dear!)


I swear I had seen that surname somewhere. But the name Indie? Surely it must be a shortened version of the name Indiana. Indiana for a British? Strange. Anyway, I never understood why someone who name a child after a state. Saying that, Malaysia was the most popular newborn girl’s name in the USA last year among the black community. The only association between England and Indiana that I remember was the riddle when I heard as a young adult about where Prince Charles spent his honeymoon! Go figure.

In the modern age, when in doubt, what does a sane person usually do? Google of course. Within a fraction of a second upon typing the surname, the whole anthroponymy of the said name appeared in full glory. Now, it made sense. I could not have guessed.

When she offered vegetarian food for the dinner as she thought we did not consume beef as she thought venison and beef were from same cattle of fish (pardon the pun), I was wondering why she said ‘deer meat’? My usually dull grey cells went into hyperdrive. I thought that perhaps she was one of those true blue Anglophile, who was trying to restore old glory in the English language. She was attempting to restore the language to its glory days before it was corrupted by foreign words from the self-appointed bourgeois societies like the French or the contaminations of the returning members of the British Raj office who boast of the world knowledge through logorrhoea and perceived gibberish.

“Jungle, bungalow, khaki, juggernaut, loot, shampoo. We have our own words,” they said just like any hardliner would say. “And we need no ham, mutton and no venison.” We need to keep our language clean just like our bloodlines!

Well, well, well, I did not know. My little research revealed that the ‘deer meat’ lady is indeed a descendant of whom the British Raj tried to abandon in 1947. Her surname was a dead give away, originating from the cattle rearers clan of the Punjab Valley. Her pale complexion and her pseudo-accent fooled me. For all you know ‘Indie’ could have been an abbreviation if ‘Indira’. Gone were the head bobbing and the singsong intonation of speech. “My, my, Oh righty!” she said in a typically British manner.

The same way Farrokh Bulsara became Freddy Mercury to be blended well into the society to become a British icon.

I was telling myself, “Here are we, two descendants of the Indian subcontinent, one displaced away to another colony and another deciding to snuggle up to the masters trying to outdo each other thinking that is more British and know more English than the other!” Interesting coolie mentality.

Oh deer, my dear!

........as I was passing...

Like the Sword of Damocles, it hung over his head. There was a constant nagging heaviness over his temples. He knew it was bad, really bad. He had certain arbitrary lines but this one had crossed it all, imaginary or otherwise. But still, life had to go on. And the show too.

He knew it was a bad idea. With all these problems plaguing him, he thought it was inappropriate for him to partake in this event. But then, it was also a lifetime achievement. A success hailed upon by his kinsmen as the epitome of his checkered life. Akin to a water lily, growing wild amongst the filth of marsh, stench and reptiles honoured to glorify the lotus feet of Buddha, an achievement enviable to some but yearned by all, privileged to a few!

Anyway, the problem is not an overnight one. Like a crystal, the lattice had developed over the years slowly but surely to its full wrathful glory. How could he have been so dumb? Or was it beyond his control and was decided by the constellations and the genetic predisposition?

In other people's faces, he saw joy and happiness. Photograph flashes kept blinding periodically, a reminder for achievers to immortalise and digitise the moment. Unfortunately, for Gus, it was only melancholia. With philosophical rationalisation, he decides to forgo everything.

"Professional studio photography, sir?" somebody suggested, pointing enticingly at the display of families of graduates flashing their enamel possessions as if they were advertising for a tooth care product.

"No, thanks," said Gus as he hurried through the main hall. "What is the meaning of all these?" he thought to himself, "is there is no peace of mind?" His mind wandered through his childhood. He recalled all those seemingly hopeless times when sad songs were the flavour of the day. Happiness was an then unattainable feat. It still is. "Oh, how I had longed for this day!" Gus lamented.

Just as his mind was deeply engrossed in the nostalgia of yesteryears, his daydream was interrupted.
"Do you have any food preferences, sir?" the lady at the reception voiced out, appearing slightly irritated, probably as Gus' appearance did not exude cordiality.
"Pardon ma'm?" Gus replied.
"Do you have any preferences for your dinner, vegetarian or vegan?" the receptionist read out mechanically.
"We are okay," Gus replied in unison, with his wife nodding in agreement.
"As long as there is no beef."
"So, can we serve you vegetarian? Since we are serving deer meat tonight," she replied.
"Dear meat?"

Oh dear, it's venison!

"Yes, deer meet!"

Then it hit Gus and his Mrs. "You mean you are serving venison!"
Gus, chuckling inside, just wanted to see the change in the receptionist's face.
She must be some kind of actress or perhaps a good hand at poker as she never flinched a muscle giving away the clue that she might be embarrassed.
Gus had two minds to start his sermon on how words like mutton, venison, beef etcetera came to the English language to give the feel of bourgeois as these words were French in origin, but against his better judgement, he decided to keep it for another occasion another day. After all, Gus was a feted guests and guests ought to behave at the highest decorum so as to honour his host. Maybe sweet revenge may come another day....

To be continued....

With a bit of wit and flare!

Thanks CG for contribution. A good one. Unfortunately, I did not laugh all the way to the bank! Speaker of any language, who can appreciate the subtleties and nuances of the language, if he had spoken it long enough and had spent time mixing with the cultures that use the language, will be able to come out with gems like these. All he needs is a crooked mind, wit and a good sense of humour. Coincidentally, a recent study showed that a person with a 'dirty mind' leads a healthier life.

Keeping up with the Joneses?

In verbatim (not translation)
Super Hit Matinee Show

I remember an uncle, a close family relative and a retired civil servant, who spent a lot of his retirement time watching old Tamil movies. I found that quite amusing as none of his kids have an iota of outward appearance of embracing Indian culture. They did not speak any of Indian dialects, watched only English language TV/movies and even sneered at the comical sing song way of how movie stars delivered their dialogues. The uncle's reason for indulging in his pastime is for the meaning life lessons and heart rendering song lyrics that it had to offer.
I found this ironic as my parents were looking up at the way they brought up their children and we were asked to emulate them as much as possible. They were envious at their children's command of the English language and their skill in playing instruments. Not wanting for us kids to lose our mother tongue, ironically my mother would insists that we spoke Tamil at home. Outside the house, however, we were to speak our mother tongue as Tamil was not considered as a language that would 'draw intellectual discourse'! In the neighbourhood that we were living, only people from the underprivileged background would converse in Tamil. Hence, ability to converse in English would make one step above the rest, so she professed! We were from the city and it was the 70s. People were all trying to improve themselves economically. Tamil, as we saw it, was not going to lead us anywhere.

All the way to adulthood, I encountered many who hailed praises of the Tamil language, of how it is one of the oldest surviving language and how has a separate word for every situation. Even in modern scientific scenario, there is a readily available word for use. If in the English, the word 'love' is used to denote various types of affection between man, God, woman, animal, food and so on, in Tamil every particular act of love has a specific word.

Having said all that, if one were to listen to any Tamil language interview on cable TV from Tamil Nadu, 50% of the sentences are laced with English. As if, spiking English word makes the conversation more intellectual. Of late, even advertisements are using foreign word instead of readily available Tamil alternatives!

The caption above shows the title of an afternoon matinee slot on Raj TV. It reads in verbatim, not translation - சூப்பர் (super) ஹிட் (hit) மேட்னி (matinee) ஷோ (show). I am sure there must be a suitable translation for that in Tamil (தமிழ்)!

Lackadaisical attitude, that is all

I wrote sometime ago about errors in signboards, atrocious state of English Language in the country and the lackadaisical attitude of people on power to ensure perfection or near perfection in whatever they do. Well, it looks like the country is only filled pompous over fed individuals who just delegate their duties to their subordinates, sleep on their job and just live off the hard work of foreign hands. Lately, it was brought to my attention of two notices that brought quite an embarrassment to the people who were given the responsibility to carry it on. (see this too!)

In the first instance, a congratulatory greeting ended up emitting the wrong vibes. A simple misplacement of letters gave an embarrassment that stinked to high heavens. (from TAHNIAH to TAHINAH, as tahi denotes faeces, nah is a derogatory and half hearted way of offering something). As the message was supposed to be a congratulatory note to a very powerful man, many heads are set to roll.
Trickling down to ground level, even in the supermarkets, labelling of goods are left to the imagination of immigrant workers to coin out new words in the Malaysian language. Mosquito traps are hot selling items these days due to public panic of dengue fever. In one supermarket, dengue (or denggi in Malay language). The supervisors must have left it to the menial workers to design the labels and this is what they got... A label displaying a RM29.99 device to eradicate jealousy and ill thoughts. You see, DENGKI is just that!
Unlike our forefathers who were generally hardworking people who only believed in the mantra of hard work as the only to success, we are slowly evolving to become a nation of laggards but still want to live in pomp and splendour. Because things have been relatively easy thus far, everyone thinks that it is their birth right to expect some kind of special treatment. The new form of slavery is dependance on foreign labour. Little do we realise that what happened in the 'Planets of the Apes' may indeed may become a reality. The apes who were initially recruited to help around the home eventually became too smart. One spark started a mutiny and pretty soon the world was ruled by generations and generations of apes of worsening brutality!

Chicken's Invite? (Ajak-ajak ayam)

In the Malay lingo, the phrase 'ajak-ajak ayam' refers to an insincere invitation. Of course, many of us invite for courtesy's sake, but then the invitee may think that the invitation is for real! How does anyone know? Inviters and invitees must be smart enough to take the cue that one party may have gatecrashed with ulterior motives, or the other may not want him to join in the first place!

Easily twenty years ago, my family was invited to a toddler's birthday party. As my children were toddlers, too, we were requested to come early so that my kids could run around and play in their big compound. And that the host said she would arrange a series of games for them to enjoy.

So there we were in the early evening at a house that resembled very little of one immersed in joy and celebration. Instead, we were greeted by a house devoid of activities and no guests. The host was still out shopping her last-minute list, and her helper was knee-deep in her preparations to clean up the premises. Time dragged on so so slowly.

The host sauntered in, smiling as if she had struck the lottery and asked us to look around as if nothing was the matter. Guests (younger kids only) were sent by parents to run around the compound. Children, being children, were running around in circles in the humid tropical evening like a dog would be trying to catch its own tail. Unlike a pig, they were all sweating and clammy. And the host was still lost in her work as the dusky sky was slowly engulfed by the twilight of darkness. Feeling thirsty and hungry (did I mention no food or beverages were served?), we politely informed the host that it was time for us to leave. I was taken aback when she curtly said, "OK then, see you around!". No, hang on there, Just a minute. We'll start when more guests arrive, nothing.

And we headed to the nearest food court for our own party! It was a memorable party, no doubt, as we still laugh about it and tell ourselves how to be a gracious host. Lessons in life...

Then there is another story... I do not know why I befriend these people. Maybe I am too kind or just too gullible! So, this guy persistently kept on insisting that we should all go out as a family for a meal together as he and this family had been to my humble abode many a time for dinners.

After many clashes of dates, my wife finally managed to arrange a dinner at a nice Chinese restaurant. The day came, and there we were, my family only. My friend, the supposed host, dragged himself in almost an hour later, in piecemeal.- first, his wife, his kids and finally the man, complaining "traffic jam' traffic jam"!

After the cursory pleasantries, we dug deep into the chow.
As the curtain call rolled in, the talk became redundant, laboured with many draggy sentences. I thought it was customary for the host (my friend) to call it a day or ask whether there was a need to order more desserts. But hell no, he and his wife just got up and thanked us heartily for the meal; good luck, good health, blah, blah.

And guess who took the tab?
It was not even a chicken's invite (ajak-ajak ayam) as the restaurant served seafood only!

My cat is multilingual?

Felix (aka Ubi)

If my cat were human, I am sure that he would be a somewhat confused child. Probably, not to the extent of mental derangement, needing a veterinary psychologist but stressed out, no doubt.

My cat gets many earfuls (usually of the loving type) from many family members. Instructions in many languages are passed on daily. My wife gives her instructions to Felix (the cat) in Hindi; children converse in English and some kind of molly-cuddly gibberish language; a dose of Cambodian language and song is also thrown into the spanner! The surprising thing is that the feline-beings obey obediently to orders, sometimes. At other times, he does not give a damn. He just maintains visual attention and carries on his own life, unlike a canine counterpart who would jump in joy looking at your presence!

That just brought back to a time in 1982 when Rexxie, my dog, used to wander around our household in Penang. When my cousin visited us back, he was surprised that Amma spoke to him in Tamil. For him, animals only understood English!

Scurrying over spicy curry

Of late, the mainstream media seem to be bragging of how in two instances, two multilingual cops saved the day. One helped a senior citizen to write a police report (conversing in Hockkein) whilst the other helped to negotiate 2 warring factions who were at logger-heads via his skill in Hockkein. Big deal, kudos to the police for being community friendly, bullocks!

It might work in the 50s and 60s, but in 2011, 54 years after independence? Two bona fide Blue I/C holders and Malaysian citizens communicating like a chicken talking to a toad? You cannot blame the education system as Malaysia boasts of 98% literacy rate.
I remember a friend of mine relating the following true story in the 1960s in the interior of Kelantan (Kuala Krai) where and when literacy was low and many births were recorded by policemen for birth certificate notification purpose as home deliver was norm. This old farmer went to the police station proudly to register his first born son. Being illiterate that he was, he engaged the policemen to do the paper-work...
Cop: Pakcik, nah bagi nama gapa? (What name would you like to give?)
Farmer: Bagilah nama mudah-mudah. (Give a simple name! -in Kelantanese dialect)
And so the newborn was registered as 'Mudah Mudah bin Awang' and to his horror, friends and teachers called his name with full of glee for the rest of his life.
And in the late 80s when an elderly Malaysian Chinese lady complained complained to the attending doctor that they are many dogs in the tummy, nobody laughed. Everybody knew that she meant to say 'angin' (wind) when she said 'anjing' (dog)!
It was okay years ago but now after 40 years of introduction of National Education Policy, which single-handed murdered the mastery of the English Language in this country, there is little reason to substantiate the lack of competence in the National Language.
The reason of this discord is the non amalgamation, jealousy and distrust that occur between the various communities propagated by the self-centered politicians in the country. Maybe we need an Anna Hazare type of politician to be here to set things right.
Maybe, when the living becomes more difficult, when the pie becomes smaller, when they have a common enemy, various ethnic communities may congregate to fight together the common offender like in the case of Singaporeans who are up in arms against mainland Chinese immigrants who find the pungent odour of fellow Singaporeans' (who were there since the inception of Singapore in 1965) curry offensive. The internet is also rife with photos of mainland Chinese acting in an unacceptable fashion - bathing by the road-side, urinating in the park, drying laundry in the children's playground and even adults defecating in public drains!

In years to come, I envisage, if things do not change for better, in Malaysia, there would  a further divide between the haves and have-nots as well as bumiputras and non bumiputras. This demarcation would be made more precarious when the newly immigrated Indonesians are easily accepted as bumiputras and the rest is best left to each other's imaginations and 'Nightmare at Elm Street' and 'Freddy Kruger' experience!

Singapore's 'anti-Chinese curry war'

What began as a quarrel over the pungent aromas wafting from one family's kitchen has bubbled up into Singapore's spiciest protest movement, with 40,000 people set to express their national pride this weekend by cooking curry.

The mediator ruled that the Indian family could only cook curry when the Chinese family was not at home 

AFP/GETTY IMAGES

By Malcolm Moore, Shanghai
16 Aug 2011
Curry is one of Singapore's national dishes, a dish that is equally loved, although in different forms, by the island's British, Chinese, Indian and Malay populations.
So there was an instant uproar when a local newspaper reported that one Chinese family, recently arrived from the mainland, had taken offence at their Indian neighbours' dining habits.
"The family resorted to mediation because they could not stand the smell of curry," reported the Today newspaper. "The Indian family, who were mindful of their neighbours' aversion, had already taken to closing their doors and windows whenever they cooked the dish, but this was not enough," it added.
Instead, the unnamed Chinese family took their neighbours to Singapore's Community Mediation Centre for a ruling on the matter.
Marcellina Giam, the mediator, eventually ruled that the Indian family could only cook curry when the Chinese family was not at home. In return, the Chinese family promised to try the dish.
The judgment incensed Singaporeans, many of whom have eyed a recent flood of mainland Chinese immigrants with some disdain.
Almost a million mainland Chinese have arrived in recent years, making up a fifth of the island's population. Singapore's native Chinese population have been particularly upset by the newcomers, many of whom do not come from the provinces of Fujian and Guangdong that provided the original wave of immigrants before the Second World War. Most also do not speak English, which remains Singapore's national language.
"I am incensed with a People's Republic of China family telling my fellowmen not to cook curry," wrote Rosalind Lee, one of hundreds of commencers on the Today newspaper's website. "Almost all Singaporean homes cook curry. The mediator should tell the PRC family to adjust and adapt to Singapore's way of life and not tell the locals to adjust to the foreigner's way of life!" she added.

National aspirations turned apparitions?

During one of my channels surfing sessions, to avoid meaningless advertisements and melodramatic mind boggling Kollywood dance-around-the-park sequence, I stumbled upon the live coverage our female badminton players slugging it out with the Indonesian pair in the finals of the Sudirman Cup recently. It was not their game that fascinated me (they lost meekly) but rather their (the players and their coach) off court antics. Somehow, in that live coverage, the camera was precariously close to both teams. Every word of their conversation was crystal clear to the TV viewers. The Indonesian coach was ranting away in Indonesian language giving final points in playing. The Malaysian coach, on the other hand, was talking away in what sounded like Mandarin. I do not know whether the coach is Malaysian or Chinese but I would not be surprised if he is Malaysian as it is a common sight indeed to find Malaysians finding it more comfortable (some calling it preserving the dying mother tongue - it used to be a common thing amongst Indian (Tamil) students in varsity teeming with the Anjaatha fearless Dravidian spirit) to chat to one another in their respective mother tongues - as if they are dealing in some kind of secret society transactions even in the presence of other ethnic group so much so that, like it or not, the languages seem to have seeped into others. Just that we do not use it. Just do not curse us in our face or behind our backs. It will alert our antennas and they would be trouble.
Here is a sample of a run around park sequence, just that this song is too melodious for anyone to surf away! 

Mind your language

I do not know whether it is just me, being the fussy, good at finding others' fault type of a person or is it universal to get annoyed when you are the third person and the only other two persons in the room start talking to each other in an incomprehensible language.
Being the sensitive person that I am (blame it on horoscope -Cancer) and one with inferiority complex (blame it on strict upbringing and humble beginnings in early life), and maybe grandiose feel of being the centre of attraction, I sometimes think that they are secretly having a laugh at my expense, cursing or ridiculing me in sly! (Something like: "Hey, see that short ugly guy. His fly is undone and he is wearing red polka dot undies!" Not that I have one.
Maybe my body may be enjoying the benefits of capitalism but my soul is socialistic deep inside. Empathy and considering the plight of another is the crux of difference between these two ideologies. Capitalism is the pinnacle of selfishness and oneness where the rest of the world does not matter. Forget all this; it is only courteous when you are in the company of others.
More than 15 years ago, a Caucasian lady and her family from Belgium were ushered into the family by way of matrimony. I have to be specific here. Globalization has changed the landscape of many countries. Hence, you do not expect someone looking like Thierry Henry, William Gallas or Zinedine Zidane to qualify as a Frenchman some 50 years ago but now it is politically incorrect to expect a European to be of pure Aryan stock that the Third Reich dreamt of.

Leuven, Belgium

So a Belgium girl from the farm got hitched to a dhal eating Malaysian of Indian descent who speaks neither speaks Flemish, Dutch, French or German. The first thought that went through the bride's family mind was the communication hurdle that they had to overcome. In fact, there are still some of the older relatives shy away from visiting their now Malaysian PR status-ed young Belgian meisje in Maleisië because of the language barrier. The rest of them have them actually enrolled in English classes and are now able rattle away and laugh to jokes in English! One apparent observation that can be noted is that, in our presence they speak English amongst themselves! Now, that is cultured behaviour!
Here, in Malaysia, with increasing globalisation and increasing spectrum of people with variable level of intelligence and culture, we are all used to people (even own citizens) talking with whatever dialect they choose to at any time they wish. But life goes on ....