RIFLE RANGE BOY

The Etymologicon:  A Circular Stroll through the Hidden Connections of the English Language Author: Mark Forsyth (2011) This book will excite you if you were one of those, me included, who gets excited knowing things that add minimal value to your mundane day-to-day life. It gives you a false satiety that you are a bigger being for realising some worthless fact. In no imaginable way is it going to improve your life. Perhaps, a transient warm fuzzy feeling when you sigh and say, "Ha. I see, that's what!" Well, reading is not about passing examinations. Sometimes, it helps you pass that awkward moment in a boring or break the ice with a total stranger when mysteriously transplanted in the company of a haughty visitor that your wife conveniently pushed to you to entertain. These are moments when you find worthless information, a boon that could morph that awkward silence into lighter moments. The danger in this strategy is that your wife's unsavoury friends could change...

Under the guise of surveillance, imperial powers went to all four corners of the world. Their true intentions, as was eventually discovered by the locals, were reconnaissance work to ascertain terrains and landscapes for economic potentials and geopolitical purposes, not for the development of mankind. Neither was it to garner scientific facts to explore our civilisation. It was business. The icing on the cake was exploring how natives could eventually be 'civilised' via Western education and the introduction of The Book. From the 18th century onwards, the Western world was excited, discovering new exotic lands with wealth beyond belief. Pretty soon, no combative teams started scouting new lands in Africa, India, China and various other parts of Asia. Under the guise of doing land surveying, whites were seen around Afghanistan, Siberia, the Middle East and the Far East. When geopolitical turmoils embroiled in these regions, the armies of the imperial forces suddenly found their...

Heard that the word 'hunky' does not only refer to a buff guy with muscles. It could be a derogatory word for a white guy, specifically one from the East European block.  At the turn of the 19th century US, many Slavic and Hungarian economic and religious refugees from the ailing Austro-Hungarian Empire turned up at Pennsylvania and West Virginia coal mines. As per the norm, many immigrants were hardworking people who were there to earn and go back and lead a better life. A group of young blokes expressed their newly found freedom in the saloons and sin dens. Over time, their alcohol-filled emotions would spiral into street fights and general public nuisance. Many were Hungarians and Pollacks (Polish), collectively called Hunyaks or Honyaks.  Maybe because these manual labourers were defined with well-endowed physiques and using slur terms against any group became politically incorrect, the word hunky is now exclusively for a buffed person.   Curiously, the words' hongkie...

Kattradhu Thamizh (கற்றது தமிழ், Learnt Tamil; 2007) To remind ourselves, a line from Dead Poets Society... John Keating (played by Robin Williams):   We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, 'O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?' Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be? The society tells you, especially if you are from the developing world, it needs to progress. ...

(...Cont. from Oh deer, my dear! ) I swear I had seen that surname somewhere. But the name Indie? Surely it must be a shortened version of the name Indiana. Indiana for a British? Strange. Anyway, I never understood why someone who name a child after a state. Saying that, Malaysia was the most popular newborn girl’s name in the USA last year among the black community. The only association between England and Indiana that I remember was the riddle when I heard as a young adult about where Prince Charles spent his honeymoon! Go figure. In the modern age, when in doubt, what does a sane person usually do? Google of course. Within a fraction of a second upon typing the surname, the whole anthroponymy of the said name appeared in full glory. Now, it made sense. I could not have guessed. When she offered vegetarian food for the dinner as she thought we did not consume beef as she thought venison and beef were from same cattle of fish (pardon the pun), I was wondering why she said ‘de...

........as I was passing... Like the Sword of Damocles, it hung over his head. There was a constant nagging heaviness over his temples. He knew it was bad, really bad. He had certain arbitrary lines but this one had crossed it all, imaginary or otherwise. But still, life had to go on. And the show too. He knew it was a bad idea. With all these problems plaguing him, he thought it was inappropriate for him to partake in this event. But then, it was also a lifetime achievement. A success hailed upon by his kinsmen as the epitome of his checkered life. Akin to a water lily, growing wild amongst the filth of marsh, stench and reptiles honoured to glorify the lotus feet of Buddha, an achievement enviable to some but yearned by all, privileged to a few! Anyway, the problem is not an overnight one. Like a crystal, the lattice had developed over the years slowly but surely to its full wrathful glory. How could he have been so dumb? Or was it beyond his control and was decided by the con...

Thanks CG for contribution. A good one. Unfortunately, I did not laugh all the way to the bank! Speaker of any language, who can appreciate the subtleties and nuances of the language, if he had spoken it long enough and had spent time mixing with the cultures that use the language, will be able to come out with gems like these. All he needs is a crooked mind, wit and a good sense of humour. Coincidentally, a recent study showed that a person with a 'dirty mind' leads a healthier life.

In verbatim (not translation) Super Hit Matinee Show I remember an uncle, a close family relative and a retired civil servant, who spent a lot of his retirement time watching old Tamil movies. I found that quite amusing as none of his kids have an iota of outward appearance of embracing Indian culture. They did not speak any of Indian dialects, watched only English language TV/movies and even sneered at the comical sing song way of how movie stars delivered their dialogues. The uncle's reason for indulging in his pastime is for the meaning life lessons and heart rendering song lyrics that it had to offer. I found this ironic as my parents were looking up at the way they brought up their children and we were asked to emulate them as much as possible. They were envious at their children's command of the English language and their skill in playing instruments. Not wanting for us kids to lose our mother tongue, ironically my mother would insists that we spoke Tamil at home...

I wrote sometime ago about errors in signboards, atrocious state of English Language in the country and the lackadaisical attitude of people on power to ensure perfection or near perfection in whatever they do. Well, it looks like the country is only filled pompous over fed individuals who just delegate their duties to their subordinates, sleep on their job and just live off the hard work of foreign hands. Lately, it was brought to my attention of two notices that brought quite an embarrassment to the people who were given the responsibility to carry it on. ( see this too! ) In the first instance, a congratulatory greeting ended up emitting the wrong vibes. A simple misplacement of letters gave an embarrassment that stinked to high heavens. (from TAHNIAH to TAHINAH, as tahi denotes faeces, nah is a derogatory and half hearted way of offering something). As the message was supposed to be a congratulatory note to a very powerful man, many heads are set to roll. Trickling down ...

In the Malay lingo, the phrase 'ajak-ajak ayam' refers to an insincere invitation. Of course, many of us invite for courtesy's sake, but then the invitee may think that the invitation is for real! How does anyone know? Inviters and invitees must be smart enough to take the cue that one party may have gatecrashed with ulterior motives, or the other may not want him to join in the first place! Easily twenty years ago, my family was invited to a toddler's birthday party. As my children were toddlers, too, we were requested to come early so that my kids could run around and play in their big compound. And that the host said she would arrange a series of games for them to enjoy. So there we were in the early evening at a house that resembled very little of one immersed in joy and celebration. Instead, we were greeted by a house devoid of activities and no guests. The host was still out shopping her last-minute list, and her helper was knee-deep in her preparations to ...

Felix (aka Ubi) If my cat were human, I am sure that he would be a somewhat confused child. Probably, not to the extent of mental derangement, needing a veterinary psychologist but stressed out, no doubt. My cat gets many earfuls (usually of the loving type) from many family members. Instructions in many languages are passed on daily. My wife gives her instructions to Felix (the cat) in Hindi; children converse in English and some kind of molly-cuddly gibberish language; a dose of Cambodian language and song is also thrown into the spanner! The surprising thing is that the feline-beings obey obediently to orders, sometimes. At other times, he does not give a damn. He just maintains visual attention and carries on his own life, unlike a canine counterpart who would jump in joy looking at your presence! That just brought back to a time in 1982 when Rexxie, my dog, used to wander around our household in Penang. When my cousin visited us back, he was surprised that Amma spoke...

Of late, the mainstream media seem to be bragging of how in two instances, two multilingual cops saved the day. One helped a senior citizen to write a police report (conversing in Hockkein) whilst the other helped to negotiate 2 warring factions who were at logger-heads via his skill in Hockkein. Big deal, kudos to the police for being community friendly, bullocks! It might work in the 50s and 60s, but in 2011, 54 years after independence? Two bona fide Blue I/C holders and Malaysian citizens communicating like a chicken talking to a toad? You cannot blame the education system as Malaysia boasts of 98% literacy rate. I remember a friend of mine relating the following true story in the 1960s in the interior of Kelantan (Kuala Krai) where and when literacy was low and many births were recorded by policemen for birth certificate notification purpose as home deliver was norm. This old farmer went to the police station proudly to register his first born son. Being illiterate that he w...

During one of my channels surfing sessions, to avoid meaningless advertisements and melodramatic mind boggling Kollywood dance-around-the-park sequence, I stumbled upon the live coverage our female badminton players slugging it out with the Indonesian pair in the finals of the Sudirman Cup recently. It was not their game that fascinated me (they lost meekly) but rather their (the players and their coach) off court antics. Somehow, in that live coverage, the camera was precariously close to both teams. Every word of their conversation was crystal clear to the TV viewers. The Indonesian coach was ranting away in Indonesian language giving final points in playing. The Malaysian coach, on the other hand, was talking away in what sounded like Mandarin. I do not know whether the coach is Malaysian or Chinese but I would not be surprised if he is Malaysian as it is a common sight indeed to find Malaysians finding it more comfortable (some calling it preserving the dying mother tongue - it use...

I do not know whether it is just me, being the fussy, good at finding others' fault type of a person or is it universal to get annoyed when you are the third person and the only other two persons in the room start talking to each other in an incomprehensible language. Being the sensitive person that I am (blame it on horoscope -Cancer) and one with inferiority complex (blame it on strict upbringing and humble beginnings in early life), and maybe grandiose feel of being the centre of attraction, I sometimes think that they are secretly having a laugh at my expense, cursing or ridiculing me in sly! (Something like: "Hey, see that short ugly guy. His fly is undone and he is wearing red polka dot undies!" Not that I have one. Maybe my body may be enjoying the benefits of capitalism but my soul is socialistic deep inside. Empathy and considering the plight of another is the crux of difference between these two ideologies. Capitalism is the pinnacle of selfishness and onenes...