RIFLE RANGE BOY

It has nothing to do with mocking the duly departed. No doubt we do not poke fun at the dead. Jocelyn Chia did not ridicule the victims who perished in MH370. She sneered at the country's citizens whose image bearer in the sky went down without a trace of existence. In the same skeet, she peeled bare the impotence of the government, which had lost in the global fight to stay prominent. Whilst the rest of the world is busy improving the saleability of its country and drawing in foreign funds, besides improving human capital and intelligence, Malaysia's leaders are content in drumming the past century's tune of race and religion. The leaders make their gullible subjects feel special when they are merely donning the Emperor's new clothes. So when Jocelyn haughtily flaunted Singapore's first-world status after being jilted from an intimate relationship, during which the Prime Minister had cried about an uncertain future, she knew her country had done well. Speaking from...

Joker (2019) It was a time when I was a teenager. I had been selected to play the role of Jesus Christ in a pantomime. It was an Easter play depicting the Resurrection. Obviously, the most alluring girl in the Sunday class, Catherine, was cast as Mary Magdelene. Everything went on all, and the show was enjoyed by everyone. I realised the hard way that people are generally not nice, and children are imps. Life is not fair. There is no justice on Earth, and we are kidding ourselves that there is a higher judge out there who would mete out appropriate justice when the time is ripe. As if pacifying a wailing child, we convince ourselves, rather foolishly that payback may happen in the afterlife or next birth. After the show, the children started teasing me as 'Black Jesus'. Of course, I did not know then that Jesus may have had Negroid features, but I felt particularly offended with the word 'black'. The teasing went on, joined by the other. One particular chap, Jere...

A Classic. Based on a real occurrence... "I am sorry, I won't be able to see in 4 weeks' time," the doctor told Ms Lee as he glanced at his calendar. "It is Agong's birthday." "We can schedule the appointment to see in 5 weeks, is that ok?" Ms Lee, an executive in a small assembly plant in the capital city, was scrolling through her smartphone, looking rather perplexed. "Why, Ms Lee?" Doctor was bewildered to see his patient's facial expression. "You won't be around? You can come and see me earlier if you have any problems." "Err... June 4th? Agong birthday? Is that a state holiday or a national public holiday?' Ms Lee said with a straight face. "You see, I work in Selangor." *** Another classic, may not be based on true occurrence... Bubba, a Texan, was excited to be have won at the raffles to tour Malaysia.  As he was being toured around in a double-decker bus with his mother, a...

Thanks CG for contribution. A good one. Unfortunately, I did not laugh all the way to the bank! Speaker of any language, who can appreciate the subtleties and nuances of the language, if he had spoken it long enough and had spent time mixing with the cultures that use the language, will be able to come out with gems like these. All he needs is a crooked mind, wit and a good sense of humour. Coincidentally, a recent study showed that a person with a 'dirty mind' leads a healthier life.

The modern day management gurus do it. Mystics use it. Motivational consultants use it. Religious leaders try to impart their pseudo-religious knowledge across the landscape sometimes infuse inappropriate jokes to garner more following. And politicians overdo it by trying to act like a clown when their work is only showmanship! To spice up your speech, you are all asked to infuse a little element of humour in your speeches. The message that is put forward is grasped better and the message gets crystal clear. Really? The headmaster decided to infuse a little toilet humour into his morning assembly speech about fasting and dining in the lavatory and boy, he created a national crisis. Perhaps, he should have just read out his boring instructions to equally bored unresponsive student. Sanity would have prevailed and mass hysteria would have been averted! Another incident occurred at an obstetrician clinic. An expectant mother came running for an appointment to have a sonogram of her...

HOW SOME GREAT PEOPLE HANDLED AWKWARD REMARKS BY GIVING AN APT REPLY TO SILENCE EVEN A MOB!!!!!! Veer Savarkar once started addressing a public meeting in Hindi at Bangalore. The crowd started shouting "Speak in Kannada. We will hear only in Kannada." Veer Savarkar replied "Friends, I have spent 14 years of rigorous imprisonment in the infamous Andaman Jail where all freedom fighters were kept in jail. I have learned Bengali from the freedom fighters coming from Bengal , Hindi from those coming from Uttar Pradesh, even Gujarati and Punjabi. Unfortunately there was none from Karnataka from whom I could have learned Kannada." ...and there was pin drop silence. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- At a time when the US President and other US politicians tend to apologize for their country's prior actions, here's a refresher on how some former US personnel handled negative comments about the United St...

In the Malay lingo, the phrase 'ajak-ajak ayam' refers to an insincere invitation. Of course, many of us invite for courtesy's sake, but then the invitee may think that the invitation is for real! How does anyone know? Inviters and invitees must be smart enough to take the cue that one party may have gatecrashed with ulterior motives, or the other may not want him to join in the first place! Easily twenty years ago, my family was invited to a toddler's birthday party. As my children were toddlers, too, we were requested to come early so that my kids could run around and play in their big compound. And that the host said she would arrange a series of games for them to enjoy. So there we were in the early evening at a house that resembled very little of one immersed in joy and celebration. Instead, we were greeted by a house devoid of activities and no guests. The host was still out shopping her last-minute list, and her helper was knee-deep in her preparations to ...

It happened many times before, year in year out, it is the same story. Ladies and Gentleman, it is that time of the year when the police awakes from their slumber, carried their potbellied sorry er... asses to give their ever popular annual discount on the summonses faithfully accumulated by die-hard traffic offenders. The main stream paper will create an aura of urgency that the force means business this time around and does a countdown on the deadline. The papers would be flashing pictures of never ending queue of offenders trying desperately, waiting from the wee hours of the morning, to clear their debt with the police. The law abiding citizens would look at this and gleefully think, "Serves them right!" Like an anti-climax and a wet blanket, the dead line would come and there would an extension to the date. And the police would say, "This time we mean business. Read my lips, no more second chance, we will get you." Did I forget to mention about the antics and ...