Showing posts with label obituary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label obituary. Show all posts

Sunday, 20 December 2020

Mission accomplished!

Mr Dalip Singh Kokra
(1922-2020)
Yet another story of an immigrant who started with nothing and went on to create a legacy of sorts for himself and his offsprings. I had the pleasure of knowing Uncle Dalip Singh when I entered my wife's family more than thirty years ago and had taken part in many happy and sad events as they came and went.

Over the years, I made a composite picture of his life and times starting as a night school guard and gradually rising to be the President of the local temple.

As a young man, with scant of education, he arrived in Malaya with hope in his chest, strength in his limbs and resolve on his mind. As a night guard, he had built quite a reputation as a goto man for petty cash. Towards the latter part of the month, it was a common sight to see peons, clerks and even teachers forming a beeline outside his quarters requesting friendly loans (at 'reasonable' interest, of course). He was a leading a thrifty life, appreciating the simpler things of life to raise his five children. Not happy with just wasting his day time idly, he decided to become a travelling salesman. With his faithful wife as an aide, he drove to small rubber estates and oil palm plantations to sell sarees and Indian clothes on credit. With the little remunerations that he obtained from these, he uplifted the standard of living of his family. After he retired from Government employment, he moved into a large landed property in the more affluent side of town. With his tenacity, he educated his children and became a respected figure in society. 
He is a living proof to the adage 'hard work never kills anyone'. Until about six years ago, at a ripe age of 92 years, he was still seen driving around the housing estate. After spending quality time during his 98th birthday with his loved ones, he decided to call it quits. He became progressively weak, bade his farewell and passed the baton to the generation next to bring it to the finish line.

Some would simply throw in the towel at first sight of an obstacle. They would blame everyone else except themselves for their predicament. Others would approach these hurdles somewhat differently. When the barricade is too high, they will go under it.  If it is thick, they will go around it. Wailing and garnering sympathy is not going to take us anywhere. That, maybe the life lesson I learnt from Sadarji.

Parnam, till we meet on the Otherside if we do!

Sunday, 25 February 2018

On the passing of Sri Devi...

http://www.riflerangeboy.com/2012/07/12-year-old-my-stepmum.html

A 12-year-old, my stepmom? 

Moondru Mudichu (3 Knots, Tamil; 1976)


Before fame and ego took over the best of them, Kamalhasan and Rajnikanth used to act together in many memorable films. Of hand, comes to mind are Avargal, Aval Appadithaan and Apoorva Raagangal.
Sridevi's debut as heroine at the age of 12+
Child abuse or what?

In that vein, Moondru Mudichi showcases sterling performances by this duo and another talented actress from the south, Sridevi, a debutante then as a heroine at the age of 12+ (born 1963).

Kamalhasan and Rajnikanth are soul mates and roommates. Kamalhasan falls in love with a college student Sridevi, but the chain-smoking devious Rajni has both his eyes fixated on the lass and has no qualms expressing his desires to her behind his back.

During a boat outing, Rajni lets Kamal drown after he fell overboard in full view of Sridevi. During police interrogation, he denies knowing to swim although he was a strong swimmer.
Disappointed, she leaves town to work as a nanny to a widower with kids. As fate has it in a typical Tamil movie, Rajni is the eldest son of the widower. Rajni tries to woo Sridevi again. As revenge, Sridevi marries his father and becomes Rajni's stepmother. Rajni gives an outstanding performance as a mean chain smoking villain complete with his trademark cigarette tricks. Tit for tat continues further with the arrival of a girl whom Rajni impregnated and absconded.
Smelling a rat, his father stages a near drowning scenario, and one thing leads to another, and everything is sorted out.

As usual K. Balachander who is known to belt out stories with extraordinary socially awkward themes and he does the same here. Rarely you see a lover turning to be a stepmother! Indeed Rajni came out tops here with his meatier and challenging role. The film was shot in black and white as the director felt it brings out the artistic sense of a story!

An excellent nostalgic flick that brings old memories of RRF as the songs from this movie used to be heard over the airwaves quite so often, no thanks to Iyer of Block D! We also had a radio cartridge player with this song in our family car Austin Mini. We heard this song, again and again, all the way to Kuala Lumpur in 1977.


https://asok22.wixsite.com/real-lesson

Saturday, 30 December 2017

They don't make them like they used to!

V. M. Shamuganathan
(1938-2017)
Just a few months short of completing his eight decades of existence, the soul that who infused part of his genetic material into my DNA sighed his last breath in the early hours of Christmas 2017. At a time when most revellers would be in a state of a stuporous daze after a long Eve dinner, he did his last bodily duties and travelled into the horizon to the Otherside. He died in his sleep, finishing his dharmic obligations.

At a time when serenity was the order of the day in the green-lushed tropical port city of Penang, in 1938, he was a born to first-generation Malaysian parents. His cry was greeted with smiles and waves of laughter of thankful parents and relatives.

Growing through the tumultuous years of the Second World War, the sluggish economics years of the post WW2 era, the poverty of joblessness, the street-smart years of the 50s, through the euphoria of the independent Malaya with 15 other siblings, he had seen it all. The whirring sounds of Japanese planes, the meagre diet of tapioca and rationed low-quality light, nature as his playground, having sacrificed education to feed the hungry mouths of the siblings, the courting style of the late 50s in the newly independent former British colony, the marriage, the loss of the first newborn, the elevation of living standards, the fall from grace and the proud moments brought by the three offspring.

November 1958
The opulence brought with it the lifestyle disease of diabetes at the age of 35 years. The undercurrents of the bug reared its ugly head towards the late part of his life in the form of two significant episodes of hemiplegia which resolved miraculously with a minimal residual handicap. He lost two toes on his right foot after a recalcitrant infection burrowed under the fascia. He fought that valiantly. Grimm Reaper must have been working overtime on his case. The morbidity of disease pounced upon him again. Renegade cells on the bladder wall underwent malignant change. He stood stoically against the cancer cells to bowl them over.

He even came out of his recent bout of fight against with the spreading sepsis with flying colours. He defied the odds, at his age, to have a full recovery and healthier than he had been.

October 1986
December 2017
Feeling victorious after thumping all the obstacles that came his way, he must have lied down to sleep in content, albeit the aches and pain of time, in the early mornings of Christmas Day. The hum of the silence of Yuletide morning must have gently rocked him over to the abyss of no return.

Still smiling from the comfort of lying on the lap of Mother Nature, he left his earthly body. Unlike the time when he was born, when he was crying and the others in the world smiling; he lay in a boxed abode with a perpetual grin whilst the others were wailing.

We are intertwined in a cosmic bonding destinies called genes that interact us with affections indestructible with the passage of time. You are one, and I am one, and we are in this together. We are all a piece of existence. The final rites with its symbolic representation of our brittle and subjective existence on earth affirm our karmic and infinite interaction with another.

The inner diety that seeks its soul mates, in this case, father and son, has completed yet another cycle. The recital of ancient slokas and mantra, rendered with Agni as the witness, hope to call upon the all-encompassing Consciousness, to purify and elevate the soul. May his soul protect the living. May the bliss of Knowledge comfort the loved ones and help to live the legacy that he left behind.

(N.B. Thanks AqS for kind words)

Friday, 15 August 2014

Seize the day, Carpe diem!

You think you have got it made. You think you are perfect. That is what everyone aims for. And we all yearn to be THE one. Many want to leave their legacy behind, something for their descendants to feel proud of. Mythology repeatedly told over time from ear to ear over the years, got spiced up and snowballed to portray infallible characters, invincible, just, powerful and elevated to demi-God and God statuses.



As usual, my mind got thinking...
That could explain the many 'great' men (mahaans) and avatars of God who had graced and walked the land we stand on. Not to belittle the great deeds that they had done, there must be blemishes in their otherwise pristine time on Earth.

When Robin William passed on recently, the internet and social media were fluff with a flurry of messages praising him to high heaven. Many thanked him for the comedy and making the world a happier place. One even praised him in his role as a motivating teacher in 'Dead Poets Society'. If not for that film, he would not enjoy literature that much and pursued that line of career. Some highlighted the pathetic and helpless situation of being trapped in the world of the black dog. Despite duelling with manic depressive illness for a good part of his adult life, he still managed to live a full life.

The passing of an individual is always remembered by the good deeds done by them. The public generally likes to put a lid on their shortcomings, thankfully so. Maybe not for all- Hitler, Stalin, Atilla the Hun etcetera.

Wikipedia checkup did show a few unsavoury conducts by the actor exhibited. Besides his substance addiction which could be attributed to his illness, he had been the cause of his own marital disharmony. Imagine, how a pregnant wife would feel when your husband is sued by his extramarital tryst sues him for infecting her with herpes!

Despite all his shortcomings, he must have been good in other ways. He still has a cordial relationship with his daughter and a string of grieving fans. Rest in peace.
Life is a symphony with crescendos and fortissimos. The joy of music that emanates is precisely from these troughs and ploughs of notes.



Friday, 20 September 2013

I came here to bury Chin Peng, not to praise him

SEPTEMBER 19, 2013. MALAY MAIL
Praba Ganesan
Praba Ganesan is chief executive
at KUASA, 
an NGO using
volunteerism to empower 
the
52 per cent. He believes it is
time
 to get involved
SEPT 19 — Funerals are always for the living. The dead don’t derive value from the exercise, irrespective of whether the remains are of obsessive atheists or deeply reflective monotheists.
The dead are dead, which is why body-grabbing episodes by your local cheerful Islamic department amuses me — and upsetting only as far as the act excludes the deceased’s family and presupposed values in the eventual rites.
The dead themselves can’t mind.
I say this upfront because I would prefer a zero-cost funeral for myself using recycled plastic, or roadside grass. I say this now because Chin Peng died and a slew of willing citizens are raving and ranting like a mob around a giant plastic doughnut, without actually wanting doughnuts.
The raves and rants are inappropriate because there is no widespread lobby at home for Chin Peng. Nor are protest rallies forthcoming.
And they distract from what reasonable people prefer: A meaningful discourse with full view of the facts and space for all opinions, and a common opinion representing the maturity of a society that is not silly enough to be caught up by jingoism and empty rhetoric.
I am not advocating for Chin Peng’s remains to be brought to Malaysia, or even for the outlandish request of putting up a memorial, but seriously, when Inspector-General of Police Khalid Abu Bakar said that he was upping border security so that Chin Peng’s body — a bit like “Weekend at Bernie’s” — never makes it past our border north, I grow weary.
But not before sniggering, for everything and anything traverses the whole border especially at the checkpoints; whether the 15 odd Bangladeshis in a sedan booth making their way to blissful economic exploitation in Balakong, diesel and petroleum by the tankers heading back to Thailand effectively stealing our subsidies, bored Alor Setar husbands riding shotgun with Penang technicians for a weekend jaunt and almost overstaying ASEAN pub girls prancing over to stamp their passports and getting a cheap manicure before boarding their bus returning to Kuala Lumpur. All witnessed by this lady selling steamed corn two metres from the no-man’s land zone and before Thai immigration.
I rather the IGP focussing on keeping my 61-year-old widowed mother’s travels to the city temple using the bus safe. Her husband was a serviceman, but she’d prefer the security not protection from dead 89-year-old men. Snatch thieves not greying zombies, I fear.
It’s the inordinate concern for the inane which gets me weary. We appear petty, as a nation.
Accounts to be settled
There are families affected by the period of Emergency (1948-1960) and thereafter isolated communists acts leading to the 1989 Haadyai Agreement officially ending any hostilities between Malaysian security forces and remnants of the communists 41 years after the killing of a planter in Sungai Siput.
But the killings were on both sides and the years of serious all-out fighting until 1955 were between British security forces — which had a substantial number of Malayans — and the Malayan Communist Party (MCP) which was exclusively Malayans.
There were cruel exactions on both sides and half a million of rural folks, mostly Chinese, were forcibly evacuated to fringes of cities to live in new villages which were in actuality camps. The social cost of that is still being felt till today, who’s to pay for that?
My friend, a wonderful well-meaning chap, says he would have fought on the side of the British against the Communists back then because he would have been picking the “lesser evil.”
It is a slippery-slope when beliefs are mounted on who did less wicked things, for people are only fed by those on their side of the divide. It compounds when that side won and wrote the history texts.
Neither do these remarks discount most of what is written.
Pity Chin Peng or hate Chin Peng, but don’t oversimplify the past by claiming it is completely factual.
Plus, there is the matter of a powwow 24 years ago across the border. Why are communities opposed to Chin Peng not opposed to the government’s decision to accept the Haadyai Agreement? The defence ministry did not oppose, the police did not oppose, Mahathir Mohamad supported it.
If those angry today at the mention of Chin Peng’s body returning were not up in arms back in 1989 and in positions oppose, are they then hypocrites? What does Malaysia call those who are of the opinion that agreeing to expedite their own interests and then to disown their own words when it is convenient?
Finally on this revisionist attitude to our collective past, when is it fine to kill members of the British forces impingeing on locals?
If the security forces of 1958-1957 were not really under British rule because there were Malayans in them, are the British justified in executing Maharajalela for murdering JWW Birch, then tracking Mat Kilau for decades and somewhere between butchering Tok Janggut and his men?
Was Custer the victim at the Battle of Little Bighorn, and Crazy Horse the villain? The Indian-killer or the white-soldier killer — who to cherish? And are the facts different because America is a
white-ruled society now?
There is no rewind button
Today does not matter to Chin Peng, nor does it to Abdul Rahman. Neither can David Marshall tell us about the sidebar conversations they had at the Baling Talks in 1955. They are all dead.
History is not about forcing a version. Life is about ensuring progress by accepting deep divides and working the margins. A future is built by recognising histories, appreciating the present accommodations and engaging people to realise everyone matters all the time.
Ignorance is the enemy of any tangible present or future.
I fear this debacle has highlighted the amazing levels of ignorance encouraged by those in power in steering emotions to particular outcomes.
Chin Peng’s death gave us an urgency to speak of the past in a sane way. That opportunity has passed.
All the past days have managed to highlight is that there are active voices disapproving intellect in our midst.
In time, along this trajectory, Malaysia will become an ignorant nation growing in arrogance. Then no war in the past or its actors matter anymore.
Nobody would want to enter this abrasive nation anymore, not even a Chin Peng.
http://www.themalaymailonline.com/opinion/praba-ganesan/article/i-came-here-to-bury-chin-peng-not-to-praise-him

Sunday, 19 August 2012

The name game

It is interesting to note that certain people are born to this world with a particular task to perform equipped with an aptly given name. This, I discovered during the time around the passing of one of Malaysia's badminton legends, Punch Gunalan. Punch is of course a nickname given to him by ardent fans after seeing his style of play and his killer badminton punches! Interesting his real given name is Gunalan s/o Panchacharan. (Panch!).
Then there is the manager of one of BPL's premier team, Arsenal. Guess what, his name happens to be Arsene Wenger. And the English footballer with the name Alan Ball! Bon Voyage Punch! Hope not to see you so soon.....
Punch Gunalan 1944-2012

Thursday, 2 August 2012

Farewell Amachee...

1927-2012
After living a full life to a ripe age of 80 something, Amachee slumbered off to the land hereafter.
It is funny that when someone passes on, we only think of the good times and funny times that we spent together in their lifetime. Amachee was one of the few relatives who used to visit us when we were exiled in RRF. Her lighting trips up north from Seremban (106, Templer Road) will be unannounced. Hive of activities will ensue to make the house presentable and tea will be prepared in a jiffy. She would update Amma about the latest happening in the family circle - who died, who married who, latest scandal, etcetera. The tea is not complete if not with some accompaniment. That is when I would be summoned to the rescue to buy some biscuits or such from the shop downstairs.
On one particular visit, I had a crash course on dentures and food selection after buying a variant of Mung Bean Pastry  (tau sar piah) with gooey sticky paste. Only then did I know that Amchee had dentures and it would get stuck!
I remember Amachee to be one of the adults in my childhood who could actually swim. This I discovered during my trip to Port Dickson beach in the mid 70s with my sister. I still remember how she demonstrated her swimming skills dressed in a sarong tied over her chest and the air bubbling through the garment!
Amachee had been a vegetarian as far as I can remember. The irony of it is she found great pleasure in cooking sumptuous elaborate non-vegetarian meals to all who visit her home without even tasting it for salt or flavour - but it just turned out delicious and perfect, every time!
Missed all these long ago when she was taken ill and slowly progressed into her own world into another dimension. She slowly said her farewells and is now united with her long lost husband and with her Maker whom she had painstakingly worshipped through her various prayers and early morning trips to her favourite temple.
Amachee, Thank you for everything. You are the closest to a grandmother I ever had. May your soul attain eternal peace and reach Moksha.

“Be afraid. Be very afraid.”*