Are you happy?

The Bridges of Madison County (1995)
Director: Clint Eastwood

With all the hype surrounding finding the perfect love and that love is forever with persuasions like 'listen to your heart' and 'you'll know when the right one comes along', this one is a wet blanket.

This film may be one of the best love stories ever made, not because it was directed by one of Hollywood's best directors but because it deals with a mature theme. Is the whole idea of marriage to complete the cycle of childbearing and childrearing as well as dotting the 'i's and crossing the 't's to ensure the institution of marriage continues unhinged, to pass the baton to generations next or is it to savour all the senses that complete a human being?

Is sex a privilege accorded only between a society-sanctioned couple and not with anybody else? Is it true that some people are just not wired to stay monogamous, or is it just an excuse to play truant, to savour the forbidden fruit?

Did society criminalise extramarital sex to give a face to paternity before a time when paternity testing was mainstream? At a time when most sexually transmitted infections were viewed as God's wrath on fornicators and adulterers and antibiotics were not discussed, it does not make sense for little children to run around without their mothers. What contraception? Coitus is a divine act sanctioned for procreation and nothing else, say the Judeo-Christian traditions. Now that our contraceptive options have improved, is this still applicable? 

Detractors of the above will cite the emotional (or lack of) reasons for keeping everything within the family unit, the good, bad, warts and all. Sex is just one component of married life. There are more experiences to achieve in this union called matrimony. 

This film gently deals with this touchy topic without condescending thoughts or resolution. It is what it is. We just have to deal with it.

Two siblings return to their farmhouse to have their mother's will read. They are shocked that her mother wants her remains to be cremated and ashes scattered over a bridge nearby. The children are puzzled as the family already has a cemetery plot. Looking through her journals, the children get access to the mother's well-kept secret. The mother, Francesca, was a war bride when she met her love in Italy at the tail end of WW2. Excited about the idea of marrying an America and migrating to the USA, her hopes are dashed when she is stuck in Iowa, on a farm where nothing happened - no neon lights, no Disneyland. In the summer of 1965, when Francesca's husband and her two teenage kids were away attending a fair over four days, she had a brief affair with a National Geographic photographer. Francesca lived the rest of her married life in memory of those four days, still performing her motherly and wifely duties.

In the spring of youth, with raging hormones, we plunge into relationships. Soon the magic died out. The ember of passion fizzles out. We reach a crossroads - to cave in to bodily needs or to look at the whole exercise as a higher calling and persevere.

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