Life is so full of these...

Life is so full of these...
The story of the prodigal son sounded simple enough when he heard it in Sunday School. The story of a wayward younger son who was a rebel who could not conform to the norms of the society and family. He wanted out, demanded his dues as the rightful heir to his father's property and left the household to enjoy life and slither into the trap of hedonism. When his finances went dry, and he was diseased, his 'faithful' friends disappeared. Helpless, hungry and weak, at life’s pits, at the pig’s sty, he dragged his sorry self back to his father's estate, hoping to work at least as a slave.
Hold behold, the father was so happy to see him back that he received him with open arms and threw a party. The take home lesson then was that God (or your parents) are always there not matter how low you fall in life! They do not judge.

What came to my mind of late is the action of the elder son. He was vilified as the bad one at the end of the story. Even though he faithfully attended to filial duties without raising an objection, he felt slighted for not being feted at such a grand scale as his father did for his brother who brought so much disharmony to the family. He started bad mouthing his brother for his ill-conduct.

You stay through thick and thin, not wanting to upset the status quo and rock the boat, what do you get in return? A bad name in return. A person who had always fought the system, creating mayhem and anarchy, only get put on a pedestal for a single action - coming back to the path. While, the elder brother, who gave up so much in the hope of favourable returns gets brickbats because he does not agree with the majority on a single account. Life is not fair!

Life is also not so straight forward. Look at the dilemma the parties have to endure. The father feels that it is his responsibility to ensure that his offspring is self-sufficient, especially when he is no more around. The last thing that he wants is to have one of his product to be sacked to the lowest heap of society in a pathetic condition. He brought him to the world, so it is his duty that he is not a burden to the society. There is an inert desire that the next generation should be better than the one before. He is wondering whether it is his fault that the second one went wayward. Did he not give the same upbringing to both sons? Is he fair to his faithful all-accepting elder son? People make mistakes. Is it not to forgive, divine? That is what family is for, to forgive. Punishment, you say! Who am I to cast the first stone for I too had mistakes in my time.

The elder son, in the peak of youth, feels he has sacrificed much of his life to the family. He has to think of his future. He has conjugal needs and desire to start a family. He has to ensure that his downline is cared for. He has to save for the rainy day. Now, this younger brother, who refused all advice earlier and left with such nasty curses, had returned after losing all of the family’s hard-earned loom. Now, what is going happen? Have I to sacrifice again? It is not fair to me. There must be a form of punishment for him. Why party? Father has suffered so much for him all these days of his absence. Wait, is he is favourite? Does he not like me? Have I not toiled my whole life for the family?

The younger one realises that he had screwed up. He made a bad call after mixing with the wrong company. In the heights of ignorance and temptation, he crumbled. Everybody deserves a second chance. I do not want any more of my father’s property. All I want is a warm place to stay and an opportunity to re-start live anew. I have repented. I promise not to repeat my mistakes. I am after all just human, bound to err in life...

Go, find excuse!

I came across this card which was sent from a daughter to her father on conjunction with Fathers' Day. Not a flattering message, I should say. Looks like the daughter seem to be blaming her failures in life and the recurrent wrong choices in choosing partners squarely on her father, the contributor of half of her chromosomes. Just because her father did not mollycoddle her but instead showed her the reality of life, she looks at it as an abhorrent. She must be thinking that real dads are like the TV sitcom dads who would take all the tantrums of the young ones and also apologise for their own shortcomings. Dream on. Adults in real life have too much ego and have an important role to play nurturing them through the hard knocks of life unlike their tinseltown dads who play their 30 minute role, smiling all the way to the bank.
You say you came to learn that someone who hurts is same who loves through your fathers actions. You sound like a smart girl - able to appreciate the finer subtleties of the language and poetry. You are probably smart because of the way paved by your father who ensured daughters are no second class citizens. They also have the right to education just like his son, your brother. Now, you are big and strong and smart, you are smart enough to bounce off all the misgivings of life on this man.
Didn't the man act hard on you to correct you, to put you back on track, because you almost went astray? Is it because of his guidance that you able to maturely assess your failures and analyse of your own shortfalls? May it not be his drilling that made you still standing tall despite the calamities that you had to encounter in your short life?

It is easy to find fault. Anyway, there is never a cookbook recipe for parenting. He may have done what he thought was best for you. Perhaps that made him the man he is, able to provide and care for you and your family. For every 10 bad points you identify about your father, there must be 20 more of the contrary.

Remember, when you point your accusing index finger at others, invariably your last three fingers would point at your good self. The thumb may point to ground (nature) or up (sky, God)!