To dance to the tune of...

Dance Like a Man (1989)
Play by: Mahesh Dattani

Thanks to MEV for the introduction.

This play has been staged around the world so many times. Managed to pick up a youtube version of a play done in 2017 by the Asia Society in Hong Kong. It was the 580th show that the group had done around the world. It was made into a film in 2004.

Everyone laments that society is patriarchal in nature. Members of the female gender often complain that their desires are clipped, and the organisation is pro-male, making things easier for them to succeed in life. Ladies achieve greater heights not because of the community's push but despite their hurdles.  

Many cultures have stereotyped gender roles. Certain professions have been typecasted. Some jobs make a man less a man. Till recently, nurses were expected to be females, and male dancers were frowned upon. In this drama, we discover the difficulties a male member of an Indian family has to fulfil his lifelong ambition of becoming a successful Bharatnatyam dancer.

It is more than just that. It also explores the misperception of society that looks at Bharatnatyam dancers as glorified call-girls. It is alright to learn it as a passing phase to ensure continuity of tradition, but the buck stops there. Even for a lady, it is viewed as an inappropriate activity for married women. Society says that a married female body, a vessel for procreation, is too sacred to be ogled by everyone. In a closed knitted community where a married lady is only for the consumption of her husband, a female dancer has to find a husband who would still allow her to pursue her dance ambition after the wedding. In other words, she has to find a partner who would dance to her tune!

The title 'Dance Like a Man' got me thinking. How is it to dance like a man? Are we supposed to be less graceful? Then it struck me.

After being subjugated to all the rules and regulations meted to curb girls' activities in society, over generations, the fairer sex (may not be a 'woke' approved term) has acquired the art of survival. They have learnt how to dominate over another without the other feeling that they are overwhelmed. It is a subtle trickery they employ to get the upper hand in deciding certain things. In reality, their victims have lost their free will, without their realisation, but are remote-controlled by the master puppeteers who control the tug strings.

Indian mothers have perfected this craft. Even though they complain that Indian societies are patriarchal, in reality, they are frequently seen utilising emotional blackmails to achieve their set ambitions. Their elephantine memories of remote and obscure events can make their men 'Dance like a Man'.

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How to tackle a taboo subject?

30 days in September

Screenplay: Mahesh Dattani

Thanks to MEV for the introduction.

The dilemma is this. For how long will the family look the other way, knowing jolly well that a sinful act that had been committed? People around the family knew about it all along but decided not to squeal, not even bat an eyelid.  Are they complicit in the infamy? Is maintaining harmony between members and the status quo in the equilibrium more important than defending the vulnerable?

People say it happened at a different time when the dynamics were different. They say sometimes people do the stupidest of things when they are weak. They should not be vilified for the rest of their lives. They say, “why don't you move on, already?”. His deeds overshadow the creases in his personal life. You have to safeguard yourself. You do not want blood in your hands if his family institution falls aground. Is that something you would like to wish upon them?

Nobody is bothered about the victim. Should she take some blame for the act? After all, she is old enough to be in control of her faculties. Why did she drag it on? She could have said no at any time.

A 2019 play in Washington DC.

People forget it is not about liking it. It is about control and exertion of power by the dominant other.  With age and power comes specific responsibilities. Doing the right or honourable thing is being one. One cannot forever claim temporary emotional frailty as an excuse. With great powers come great responsibility. The higher the perch, the heavier the fall and the more damaging the aftermath. There is no get-out-of-jail-free card for this.

This must be a narrative often uttered behind closed doors in many families. Many family scandals are often swept under the proverbial carpet for fear of bringing shame to the family. 

This bold play by Mahesh Dattani is an attempt to discuss the touchy subject of child sexual abuse. Mala has problems committing herself to a relationship, and she attributes it to her uncle, who had sexually abused her when she was young. Her mother, despite knowing this all along, decided to turn a blind eye. Mala grows up a bitter lady despising her mother for her inactivity. The conflict becomes more complicated as Mala's mother decides not to confront the issue head-on but instead plunge into religion, hoping that divinity will solve everything. This further infuriates Mala. Meanwhile, there is a young boy who is all head over heels in love with Mala.

A powerful play about a taboo subject and how it distorts one's psyche. 

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Make up your mind and move on...

Waiting for Godot (play, book)
Writer: Samuel Beckett

Thanks to MEV for the suggestion; for helping me in my journey to crack open my hard shell of ignorance. 

Albert Camus and Samuel Beckett fall into the same category of philosophers-writers who lived through World War 2-ravaged France to build a very nihilistic view of life's purpose. Samuel Beckett, an Irishman, who spent a good portion of his life in France, can be credited to have started the 'theatre of absurdism' and received the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1969 for his books and drama.

The life that is laid in front of us is apparently meaningless. In this tragi-comic play, we are shown as headless chickens running, not knowing what to do and not knowing what is expected of us. We are so fickle, always losing track of our purpose and get swooned over easily by events around us. We eagerly await instructions from people in authority without an iota of a clue about the right thing to do. But we wait and follow like sheep, correctly or otherwise.

The play narrates a conversation between two tramps, Vladimir and Estragon, who await mysterious Godot's arrival. It seems that Godot is very elusive, does not keep to his word and has no qualms keeping his men waiting. Vladimir and Estragon, in their endless wait, have to do things to pass the time. They encounter Pozzo, a rich man, and his slave, Lucky, who traverse their path. They realise that their miserable lives are much better than that of the slave, but still, they are unhappy. They keep on waiting for Godot hoping to get instructions from him.

That is life as we know it. We are clueless about why we are here, why we are alive, what is our mission. We create stories trying to justify our existence. We are not convinced and need validation from someone, anyone. We grope in the dark, making along. This aimless journey is so long and arduous.  

Like Sisyphus, we are cursed to be doing the same repetitive unending chore. The boulder pushed with so much exertion, and determination just rolls down just as it hits the pinnacle. His job is repeated and repeated yet again. Sisyphus can just call it a day and call it quits. Sisyphus knows he is destined to do throughout his life. He has to find happiness and purpose in life within that miserable ordeal. Life is tough, but he has to find joy and fulfilment within that wretched circumstances. 

Looking at this paradigm, we can distract ourselves into doing things that take our mind off of what happens at the end of it all. The indulgence in primal pleasures, intoxicants, flesh and music remain possible options. One desirable alternative could be the dissipation in art forms. It numbs the pain but at the same time, open up the mind to gaze at our lives from different perspectives. We can be leaders and serve society or delve deep into science to uplift mankind. The bottom line is that this is our existence, we have to accept it and make sense of it all and make our own conclusion.

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.