Love overcomes?

May December (2023)
Director: Todd Haynes

A May-December marriage is between two people with a wide age gap. May refers to the proverbial spring (of life), while December refers to late autumn or winter.

The story is based on the 1997 infamous case of Mary Kay Letourneau, an elementary school teacher in Washington, aged 34, who had sexual relations with her 12-year-old student, Villi Fualaau. She was charged with rape. She delivered a love child during the trials. She was later imprisoned for breaking a plea agreement. After her release, the teacher and student married in 2005 and went on to have a set of twins. Mary already had four children when she was teaching Villi. She was having troubles in her marriage and was diagnosed as having bipolar disease. Both Villi and Mary justified their actions as acts of love.

This film revisits the Mary Kay-Fualaau family in 2015. The timeline is out here. The couple has three kids, including a pair of twins. An actress, Elizabeth (Natalie Portman), who is to play Mary's part (Gracie in the film, Julianne Moore), drops in the household to get a feel of things to play the role. At the end of the day, the viewers get more than what they bargained for. It tries to dive into the family dynamics as their second born (the twins) graduates from high school. Elizabeth tries to do more than is needed. She tries to interview Gracie's immediate family and ex-husband to get a composite picture of what made Gracie and Joe (Villi's part) get together. She also tries to evaluate the family dynamics.

What we gather is a domineering, control-freak kind of a wife who wants to have the final say in everything. She creates an aura of calmness and a business-as-usual atmosphere at home. In reality, at best, she is passive-aggressive in getting things done. She is disliked by many and is a registered sex offender. She continues receiving hate mail. People boycott her. Joe, on the other hand, appears unsure about everything. He is a passive member of the family. It seems like he has had arrested development, missing all the late teenager's years of exposure. If we remember, he was burdened with father's duty at 13. As the movie progresses, we can see that Joe has second thoughts about the arrangement but lingers on for the children's sake, not wanting to be the cause of their psychological well-being. In real life, Villi and Mary Kay divorced in 2019.

The actress Elizabeth, on the other hand, is no saint either. She uses her unique position and feminine charm to extract all she needs from people around here, including bedding Joe, for her career advancement.

An interview with a Tamil actor still at the height of his career and has a late teenage son comes to mind. When asked about the pros of marrying early, he replied that one's life is more malleable when young. Marrying young gets one to mould himself to fit the demands of the new family. Delaying one's marriage to a later makes one develop routines and idiosyncrasies that are challenging to shake off, quickly creating friction. I disagree with that statement. Getting committed at a tender age to the whims and fancies of the raging hormones, ill-prepared for the challenges of family life can be disastrous, too. The appreciation of the wedding institution and the willingness to uphold it at all expense would ensure success. 

Bending the minds towards one particular narrative would ensure the continuity of the status quo. Some call this 'Peace on Earth'; others call it the domination of the elitists. When the mind becomes inquisitive and screams to break free, they call it a revolution, which can be 'Hell on Earth'!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

How to tackle a taboo subject?

30 days in September

Screenplay: Mahesh Dattani

Thanks to MEV for the introduction.

The dilemma is this. For how long will the family look the other way, knowing jolly well that a sinful act that had been committed? People around the family knew about it all along but decided not to squeal, not even bat an eyelid.  Are they complicit in the infamy? Is maintaining harmony between members and the status quo in the equilibrium more important than defending the vulnerable?

People say it happened at a different time when the dynamics were different. They say sometimes people do the stupidest of things when they are weak. They should not be vilified for the rest of their lives. They say, “why don't you move on, already?”. His deeds overshadow the creases in his personal life. You have to safeguard yourself. You do not want blood in your hands if his family institution falls aground. Is that something you would like to wish upon them?

Nobody is bothered about the victim. Should she take some blame for the act? After all, she is old enough to be in control of her faculties. Why did she drag it on? She could have said no at any time.

A 2019 play in Washington DC.

People forget it is not about liking it. It is about control and exertion of power by the dominant other.  With age and power comes specific responsibilities. Doing the right or honourable thing is being one. One cannot forever claim temporary emotional frailty as an excuse. With great powers come great responsibility. The higher the perch, the heavier the fall and the more damaging the aftermath. There is no get-out-of-jail-free card for this.

This must be a narrative often uttered behind closed doors in many families. Many family scandals are often swept under the proverbial carpet for fear of bringing shame to the family. 

This bold play by Mahesh Dattani is an attempt to discuss the touchy subject of child sexual abuse. Mala has problems committing herself to a relationship, and she attributes it to her uncle, who had sexually abused her when she was young. Her mother, despite knowing this all along, decided to turn a blind eye. Mala grows up a bitter lady despising her mother for her inactivity. The conflict becomes more complicated as Mala's mother decides not to confront the issue head-on but instead plunge into religion, hoping that divinity will solve everything. This further infuriates Mala. Meanwhile, there is a young boy who is all head over heels in love with Mala.

A powerful play about a taboo subject and how it distorts one's psyche. 

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.