The generational gap?

Mehta Boys (Hindi, 2015)

Directed, Written and Produced by Boman Irani

https://www.indiaforums.com/movie/the-mehta-boys_7313

This problem is frequently observed these days. As baby boomers live longer lives and share their experiences, clashes often arise between them and younger generations. The boomers are eager to impart the knowledge that benefited them. In their view, they do not want to be like their fathers, who sat aloof, refusing to engage in conversation with the children. The boomers believed they were doing the younger generation a favour by offering free advice. The problem is they assume that this is the only effective approach. The younger ones see things through a different lens and adopt a more relaxed attitude.

The boomers live with a siege mentality, assuming that the world is hostile and could turn upside down at any moment. They act as if they are facing impending doom. Their sole purpose in life is to save for a rainy day at the expense of enjoying themselves.

Consider, for example, preparing for a flight. The older generation would have packed, weighed, and locked the luggage well in advance—perhaps even a day or two before departure. Meanwhile, the younger ones tend to leave it until the last minute, scrambling to find their passport and visa. The same applies to meeting deadlines. The youngsters believe they perform best under pressure. Do they really?

This likely reflects the generational divide often discussed. The older generation insists that things should be done in a single way, while the younger ones understand that there are numerous approaches to tackling a problem. This dilemma is exacerbated in a patriarchal family.

This is the story of a recent widower with two adult children: a daughter in the US and a young architect struggling with confidence issues, working in the bustling city of Mumbai. The father, the widower, is compelled to relocate to the US by his daughter. Both children reunite at the family home to bid farewell to their father. The father and daughter were supposed to fly together, but due to a mix-up with the tickets, the father was assigned a later travel date. Thus, he must stay with his son for a few days before his departure to the US. The relationship between father and son has never been particularly close. The son's formative years were difficult, as the father was always hovering over him. Nothing the son did ever seemed good enough.

The following days marked a turning point in their relationship. The father met the boy's girlfriend, who got on well with him. Amidst some difficulties, such as the father losing his US visa and passport, they found a compromise.

A heartfelt tale of paternal love, ego, frustration, and reconciliation.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

Through the lens of a child's eyes!

El Sur (Spanish, The South; 1983)
Director: Victor Erice

This film has been hailed as one of the best films ever to come out of Spain. Ironically, the director refers to this film as an unfinished product. The remaining 90 minutes of the movie where the protagonist is supposed to visit the South of Spain never came out in the final product. Some say it was due to a lack of funds that the producer did not proceed with filming.

As children, as we were growing up, we wanted to know everything that was happening around us. We knew something not right was going on but just could not put the finger on it. The adults kept things secretive, but we sensed something was cooking. We put two and two together to paint a composite picture of what we perceive as complicated adult life. Sometimes, we understand more than we were expected to know. Other times, we got it all totally wrong.

This movie portrays the emotions beautifully that a child goes through the heady times of childhood in the uncertain times after the Spanish Civil War. Estella lives in the Northern part of Spain with her parents. Her parents are not precisely the lovey-dovey type of couple. The father is a medical doctor engrossed in his psychological experiments while the mother is contended to play housewife and knitting. There is not much intimacy going on; Father stays alone in the upstairs room.

Snooping around, Estella suspects that Father may have a movie star lover whom he jilted when he left the South. Father was active in the Spanish War on the Republican side against General Franco. His father, however, was on Franco's side. Both father and son had a falling, and Estella's father left with bad blood.

Realistically, Estella's father is suffering from PTSD. It could be a culmination of many reasons - his disappointment with the Civil War, his departure from the South, leaving his old girlfriend, trapped in a loveless marriage and the dull weather of the North.

As the years go by, Estella slowly understands what her father is going through, but nothing can predict what goes through his mind. All the while, the South remains a mysterious area to Estella. A single visit by her paternal in her childhood makes it even more intriguing. One day, Estella gets her chance to go down and endure the South. She goes there to study. The second part of her experience is not there in the film as it ends there.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

A step into manhood...

Echoes of Beatles' 'She is leaving home' kept reverberating...

play the song below as you read...

It was 5 o'clock but on a Sunday but no one was snoring. He was leaving home all right but for all the good reasons. Grandma was red in the eyes seeing her grandchild leave home for better life, hopefully. The father and son were quietly leaving so as not to wake the neighbours, not because they doing anything clandestine.

Stepping outside, son feels all alone. Leaving his home after so many years, never a day went without seeing his parents, he has to fend now things for himself. No more helping hands to order to prepare his fancies and to dance to his idiosyncrasies!

Picks up his luggage and walks to the lounge for the appointment he had made with the airline, to take him to where he is to learn about trades.

By 9 o'clock in the evening, he is so far away, waiting to dive into the sea of challenges to swimming ashore with glee. Hopefully, battle scars are not aplenty. These blemishes are not mere disfigurements but each an epic story to unfold. They maketh a Man. Hopefully making fun is not all that is on his mind. Some things can never be bought with money; education may be but not wisdom! Bye, bye, all the best - you are leaving home for all the best reasons that can be.

He is just a dial, a text or a Skype away.

No child's play!

Chucky wants to play!

There was a time when little children were persona no grata. They were just running around with not much to do but to grow and take over the adult roles. Their duties were none, no structured education was planned. They were eternally grateful to the elders who provided for them, taught them skills and ethics. At an age, they entered teenage, they entered the work force and continued the cycle of life.
With the worse of economic times, with war and loss of parents, they were left to fend for themselves. They matured fast to survive.
Then came a time when they had to be prepared for adulthood. They had to be 'initiated' to be ushered. Education became a pre-requisite. Structured lessons were laid out. Some of the lessons they learnt were never used anytime except during examinations. They still needed to be 'prepared' for the world. Things that they learnt were thought to be useful at some time in their life or career. Some even found their passion and continued with the things they were exposed in school.
Then the desire to expose all them to all form of knowledge arose. It was hoped that the hidden talents would hopefully be exposed and the kids would make a killing later in life or even made it their life.
Then the pressure (no more desire) to ensure that all knowledge known to mankind is parted to growing brains. Parents felt guilty or inadequate for not providing for all these avenues. Some even felt that they had failed miserably as parents for not opening their minds in activities which invoke stimuli from the right to the left parts of the brain and anywhere in between.
If a generation ago, Benjamin Spock's child care was the second-best bestseller in US after the Bible. Now child care manuals can fill a whole library, covering obscure topics like gluten free diet, TV free childrearing etc. etc.
It is understandable if parents feel inadequate and overwhelmed of entering parenthood. It looks like they want to do well with no place for error. Path is set and everyone has to toe the line.

No More!

It is no child's play. The exercise of child rearing which started as an economic commodity to replace the ageing workforce has evolved. It has become an economically draining experience but an emotionally satisfying one, provided you do not post partum depression or become a lunatic trying to prepare them into adulthood.
What started as life as a child with no childhood to talk about has slowly evolved to a period of childhood that never seem to end. That is, if you define adulthood as taking responsibilities of your actions.
Just like how someone told his 18 year old son the other day, "Congratulations, son. You are now 18 years old. You can go to jail now if you caught by the police!"