A sad love story!

Growing up with Ghosts (Bernice Chauly)

I am Punjabi, a sardarni of the Khalsa. Of the pure, from the tenets sprung from the loins of Guru Nanak. From the plains of the Punjab, and the wheat fields of Amritsar. I am Chinese, from the port city of Canton, from Fatshan, from Lam Soy Chea, from the village of fishermen and of joss stick makers. Bernice Chauly.

I can relate to this story as a good deal of its background is set at a time when I was growing up in RRF. The book is another proof that the country is not only a collection of illiterate low skilled workers but instead they are many who hone literary skills. It also denotes the sacrifices the immigrants of the 20th century in their new found motherland of Malaya towards its development from a backwater nation to what it is today.
Set against a background of forbidden love of second generation Malayans, through a series of love letters, investigative interviews and soul searching expeditions, a daughter narrates the trials and tribulations of her parent's union of love and later rediscover the father whom she lost at a tender age.
The book starts by explaining the origin of her paternal and maternal ancestors from Punjab and China respectively.
After surviving the gruelling times of World War II, the two families (Chauly and Loh) had their roots deeply planted in this country. The Chaulys suffered less than the Lohs under Japanese rule. After the turmoil of WW2, the country prospers. So do the families. Loh with pork business and Jaswant as a petition writer provide well for their large families.
The author further describes her father Surinder's tour of Europe as he studies in Kirby Teaching College in UK from his scrap book. He returns to Malaysia to teach in Kelantan.
Her mother Jane performed well in school to further her education in Melbourne financed by her father. Depression inflicted by jilted love forced her to discontinue her studies there. She returned home, heading aimlessly in life before deciding on a teaching career. She starts her studies in Malaysian Teachers' College. Jane and Surinder meet. Many of Surinder's letters to Jane form the spine and pillar of this book. After a wave of melodramatic showdown taken off numerous Bollywood films in Chauly's home and cold treatment from the Lohs, the duo underwent civil and church weddings when they were posted in Kelantan.
Fast forward, Bernie (the author) is born and bridges are mended. Just things are falling in place in the young family with two girls, a tragedy during a family seaside picnic at Miami Beach in Batu Ferringhi. Surinder, a swimmer drowns. The devastated Jane discovers after his death that she was pregnant with her third child, a boy.
The children grow up in Taiping and Ipoh, being exposed to both Chinese and Sikh cultures.
Bernice later get a chance to study in Canada through a government scholarship. After her mother's death, her desire to know her Punjabi roots grew. More death in the family - grandfather and two uncles. Some priest told the family that the Chauly had a curse from an abandoned Snake God resulting in most male heirs in the family dying young. She makes a kind of pilgrimage trip to her grandfathers' village in Punjab to please the snake goddess and to discover her roots.
A touching story (family events narrated in an interesting manner) with many familiar backdrop. Surinder's parent had their residences in Northam Road (where our grandfather lived once by the seaside) and Cheeseman Road (adjacent to Penang Free School; this road was regularly used to get to Batu Lancang and back to RRF)
This book was written after many years and after much research and exploratory expeditions. Some of the things mentioned in the book may be construed as private and best forgotten, to some of the family members and must have met resistance from various quarters. Some bitter events in life would not to be recollected by some whilst others may find it as treasure chest of experience for us to learn. A good and touching read.

Being Chindian

by Temily Tianmay Jaya Gopan

(photo by sateda)

The birth of Baby Shay to Subang Jaya assemblywoman, Hannah Yeoh, has shed light on a minority population that has yet to receive significant attention. Shay’s father, and Yeoh’s husband, is Indian. Most Malaysians are familiar with the local term ‘Chindian’, which describes children of Chinese and Indian parentage. As a Chindian myself, I feel particularly connected to the ongoing controversy surrounding the baby’s race and can’t help but notice that the Chindian narrative regarding this matter has not been considered.

When I told my 10-year-old sister about the debate sparked by Baby Shay’s Chindian roots, she told me that her own teacher had insisted that she was Indian even though she clearly told her she was Ch-indian.

“I am not Indian. I am different from the other Indians at school even though my paper says Indian. I look Malay but I’m not. But I am also not Chinese. So I can only be Chindian”, she said.

She knows first-hand how it feels to be shoved into a category which means nothing to her.

(Image of Orissa by barunpatro)

As a child, I too got into trouble for raising my hand for both the Indian and Chinese categories. But I always felt like I had to say I was both. Otherwise, I would feel guilty because it seemed like my Chinese heritage was being left out of everything and that would not be fair to my mom. Guilt is a heavy burden for a child to start carrying on the first day of school. As I grew up, I would sometimes tick the box that said “lain-lain”  because it seemed like a better description of who I was.

But does my race define me? What exactly do we mean by “race”? We seem to be having a debate without really defining the term. The Oxford Paperback Dictionary defines “race” as, (1) one of the great divisions of mankind with certain inherited physical characteristics in common (e.g. colour of skin, shape of eyes and nose); (2) a number of people related by common descent; (3) a genus or species or breed or variety of animals or plants.

If definition (1) were true, then all Chindians should be considered Malay because we have the same skin color. But then again, there are also very fair Malays and very dark Malays. Should they be considered Chinese or Indian or “lain-lain”?

If definition (2) were true, then we are all one race because we are ultimately from a common descent if we trace it far back into our evolutionary history. Why stop at tracing it back to just a hundred generations?

Definition (3) reinforces that we are one human family. My point in this is to show that the definition of race is arbitrary. It is impossible to categorize people based on their “race” and using the word “ethnicity” instead of “race” does not change the fact.

Ever since I left Malaysia for university abroad, I have filled in forms for university applications, scholarship applications and visa applications to multiple countries and not a single form required me to state my race. It is every time I come home, ironically, that I am asked about my race, a painful reminder that different races have different benefits in this land.

The message is loud and clear: Your race is who you are.

And this message is heard not just by adults, but subconsciously absorbed by children who can’t yet think for themselves. A five year old Chinese girl came over to my house to play one day. She never second-guessed being comfortable with me because I speak Mandarin. Upon seeing my father, however, she came over and whispered in my ear: “Who is that dirty man over there?” It turns out that she had been told that all people who were darker than her were dirty. But still she ran into my fathers arms with a big smile when he initiated a game with her. Prejudice had not yet consolidated itself in her heart.

(Photo by asifthebes)

Our message seems to be contradictory. On the one hand, we proudly parade the 1 Malaysia sign. But on the other hand, we have institutionalised practices that remind us at every turn of how we differ from each other. Malaysia proudly proclaims its unity in diversity, but then forces the literal embodiments of this, children of mixed race, to give up their diversity and tick only one box.

In order to achieve unity and truly establish one common identity, shouldn’t we instead be reminded at every opportunity of what we share in common?

And if we really can’t get over the urge to physically distinguish ourselves from each other, a better way of going about it would be to actually look at our genetic differences. At least we would have a clear defining factor. Japanese researchers have found that people who have dry ear wax and wet ear wax have a different gene.(http://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/29/science/29cnd-ear.html) Perhaps our forms should now have a “dry wax”/ “wet wax” category for us to choose from.

The fact is that we are one human family. Science has proven it. But how long will it take for us to start practising it?

I am proud of my Malaysian heritage. This includes, among others, Indian, Chinese, Malay and Asli heritages. I do not prefer one over the other just because of who my ancient ancestors were. They all contribute to my thoughts, emotions and ideals. How then is it fair to force me and other children of mixed race to choose one over the other? I refuse to pilih kasih.

I praise Hannah Yeoh and her husband for at least attempting to do justice to their child. Shay is definitely not just “Chinese”, as her papers now show.

Home Minister Hishammudin Hussein was quoted saying that “Whatever changes involving this matter will need amendments to the law and considerations on the constitution.”

Laws and constitutions are man-made to safeguard the interests of the people. Once upon a time in history, highlighting our racial differences may have safeguarded our common interests. But this is no longer the case. Law and constitutions are man-made and therefore can change to cater to the needs of the present time.

One of my favorite authors, Shoghi Effendi, wrote:

“If long-cherished ideals and time-honoured institutions, if certain social assumptions and religious formulae…no longer minister to the needs of a continually evolving humanity, let them be swept away and relegated to the limbo of obsolescent and forgotten doctrines…For legal standards, political and economic theories are solely designed to safeguard the interests of humanity as a whole, and not humanity to be crucified for the preservation of the integrity of any particular law or doctrine.” 

And if it doesn’t change, let us all, Chindian or not,  tick “lain-lain” in an attempt to blur the lines that divide us.

Watch Temily’s interview on the brand new Komunitikinitv show, My Dua Sen, here, where she takes on the infamous Brain Drain, and introduces his kissing cousin: Love Drain.

Chindian - Result of true national integration!

One big Chindian family: The lady is blue,a Chinese baby was adopted by an Indian family and later became
 a Tamil school teacher! She is wearing shades after cataract surgery. Her family members are more inclined to Indian way of lifestyle - in preference of food, language and choice of spouse.

Bernard Chandran-designer

Nicol David @ Duracell Bunny

Not Chindian, but Amala (Tamil movie star of 80's).
Could pass off as a Chindian!

   

Tan Sri & son, Ruben Gnanalingam.
(2007:Forbes Asia, 29 in their List of 40 
Richest M'sians wealth US$215 million. 

Pretty Chindian lasses, could be mistaken for
Filipinas, Hispanics or any global citizen

Another happy family!

Michael Veerapan, jazz pianist extraordinare

Datuk Krishnan Tan

Puan Sri Gnanalingam

*Author’s precautionary advice:  Please be forewarned that the content of this article may appear racial in outlook. It is written with the noble intention of promoting unity, not otherwise. Readers’ discretion and common sense should prevail.
The word 'Chindian' cannot be questioned as an alien word anymore as a page is dedicated in Wikipedia for this word! (see:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chindian ) Before this only people from Malaysia  and Singapore were familiar with this word. For those in the dark about this terminology, they are people born of result of Sino-Indian matrimonial bondage. They are true result of national integration, which occurred by national evolution of mixing of cultures without fear or favour. In a country where various divisions and subdivisions exist in many day to day activities between and within races and when people often find comfort in their own kind, I view it with enigma. We can say this a true Malaysian race will evolve over time if integration is let to set in without forced intervention from the powers that be in the name hastening national culture.
I have many Chindians contacts, starting way back from childhood days in RRF.
My first contact with Chindians started when my sisters and I did a short stint of tuition classes with a certain Form 6 student in St. Georges’ School, Ms Kamala Veni, in Boundary Road near RRF. In those days, especially in the circle of RRF, sixth formers were considered a sort of local hero as not many successfully complete Form 5 (equivalent to ‘O’ levels). Since sixth formers were just a step before undergraduate studies, they enjoyed celebrity status in Amma’s books! Veni’s mother is Chinese. I remember her as a very jovial person would try very hard to blend in by talking Tamil all the time. In spite of her limited vocabulary, pronunciation and grammar, she attempted to communicate with people around her in Tamil albeit in a broken and comical, much to the amusement of people around her who would snigger behind her back. Unfortunately, Amma and my sisters were guilty of such behaviour!

Then there was Ms Thavamani of E14-10. She was a newborn when her Chinese biological parents gave her to an old Tamil couple for adoption. Even though physically, she looks every inch a Chinese (skin complexion, straight hair and facial features), culturally (way of talking, head gestures, hand gestures, mannerisms, dressing sense, long pleated hair with flowers, linguistic skills and many other features), due to her nurturing, made her more Indian than any typical Indian girl. In fact, she would sometimes pass cynical remarks about her Chinese neighbours and their pungent cooking ‘aromas’. I remember once an old Chinese who was incapable of conversing in Malay was trying to tell her something in Hockkein in the lift. Lucky for both of them, Lats, whose is fluent in the dialect acted as an interpreter!

Then there is a childhood friend of mine (SD) whose mother is his father’s niece. SD’s mother, a Chinese child, was adopted by my friend’s grandmother. The grandmother’s much younger brother married this girl (of course when she was of marriageable age) and my friend was born. So SD’s mother was also her mother-in-law. And the father’s sister was also his mother-in-law. But grandma was still grandma to SD, either way you look at it! In the Tamil culture, it is perfect alright for uncles (only mother’s brother) to marry nieces and first cousins to marry provided their fathers or mothers are not siblings! I suppose they consider that only the male species carry genetic material; the females are just empty vessels! (oops!)

Many years ago, SD was about to get hitched to tie the knot after cupid shot the arrow at the heart of a loving Chinese girl. During one of my visits at SD’s parent’s home, SD’s mum complained to me, “Look at your friend, he is marrying a Chinese girl. Can he not find a nice Indian girl instead?” I did not what to say, suppressing my funny facial muscles as I stared into her Oriental face. What racists we Malaysians are, behind the face mask that we all wear? Anyway, they all appear happy now – with the proud grandparents doting on the offspring of that blessed union.

In varsity, there were many amongst us who were Chindians. One apparent observation that I noted was their apparent bonding to the Indian students, i.e.if they acquired their ‘Chinese genes’ from their maternal side. Those who have Chinese fathers tend to stick to the Chinese. This is by no means a double-blind randomised control study prepared for publication. As a nation, we have many prominent Chindians who have contributed much to the country. A few figures that I can recall include Datuk Krishnan Tan (construction), Ruben Gnanalingam (being moulded by his father Tan Sri Gnanalingam of West Port Klang), Datuk Nicol David (squash), S. Kumaresan (cycling), Datuk Bernard Chandran (fashion), Michael Veerapan (jazz pianist) and Melvin Khoo (Indian classical dance).

Just that you may know....
Chindians display so much as a product of national integration that many are as ambassadors of sorts to the world like in the national airline carrier, MAS. Classical stereotyping as we, Malaysian, do sometimes land them in 'trouble' during the fasting month of Ramadan when they are 'caught' feasting, much to the embarrassment of the Islamic officials when the matter is clarified!