Runs deep?

It has happened many times before. It also feels like a ritual. Mother-to-be would have an ultrasound done. She would ask if the baby was okay. Once she knows everything is fine, she will pop up the next question. Is it a boy or a girl?

Talk about all the milestones that science has surpassed or the world has changed with social transformation and women's empowerment; it is pretty comical to see how the response usually is. It is by no means mutually exclusive, but it is seen in the majority.

If male genitalia is observed, the mother, the husband or the rest of the spectators, who would sometimes be her sister, mother or mother-in-law, would burst into laughter, which in my mind sounded like joy, not comedic. I even had a mother-in-law who went on to give a loud cheering clap. She must have been a cheerleader in her previous life.

Conversely, a similar atmosphere would not be observed if a girl is suspected. As if hoping for the opposite, one of the 'spectators' would blurt out that things would be more precise in future ultrasound examinations. Then another would go all philosophical to say that the gender did not matter; as long as both mother and baby were healthy, anything was alright. To me, that sounded like sour grapes.

I thought the local demographics brought these people to my attention, but a recent event changed my perception. Somehow, I landed up at a relative's baby shower celebration.

For the uninitiated, a baby shower is a public announcement of the impending arrival of the family's newest member. In the South Indian diaspora, at least, it is like a last hurrah for the mother-to-be to be feted before she is worn out with eye bags of sleepless nights and worry lines of uncertainties of baby demands. As it is usually done for first-time mothers, this is the last call to be dolled up for public display. Before this, she would have been the bride.

So, after the rituals of the elders and relatives blessing the soon-to-be mum, the highlight of the day started. A giant balloon filled with helium gas and confetti of a single colour and covered with a dark-coloured plastic bag is punctured. The confetti rushes out, denoting the newborn's gender as predicted by ultrasound. The gender had apparently been kept as a secret between the soon-to-be parents. Even the immediate family members were kept out of the loop.

When blue confetti burst out of the balloon, it would have been pink if it were a girl; everyone around me yielded a shriek of exhilaration. Some members were even seen congratulating the soon-to-be father for a job well done. The confusing thing is that the female members of the invitees were all smiles, belittling their own kind. It was not that the family did not have a shortage of boys or anything like that.

I wonder if they were excited it was a boy or if their secret prediction or betting proved correct. Even though outwardly they gave an impression that they were modern, from their sense of dressing and revealing of body contours and silhouette, did they subscribe to their idea that the firstborn must be a male? The traditional thinking is that men are born leaders, and the firstborn will ensure the continuity of the bloodlines. I wonder.

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