Down in the dumps

The Star
Monday April 23, 2012
Down in the dumps
But Then Again
By Mary Schneider

Many people who have been dumped experience such an overpowering desire to get back with the dumper that they lose the ability to think rationally.
THE 19-year-old daughter of a friend was recently dumped by her boyfriend of one year. One minute she was dreaming of having his babies, cooking him sumptuous meals, lovingly ironing his shirts, and helping alleviate his stress at the end of a busy day, and the next he’d jettisoned her, by text message.
“av found sum1 else, pleez return my dvds,” the message said, completely blindsiding her.
There had been no inkling that the relation was floundering: no heated arguments, no cooling of ardour (at least, not on her part), no secretive text messages, no missed dates, no accidentally calling her by the wrong name.
Overnight, she slipped into a depressive state, a condition that worsened when her pleading phone calls, text messages and emails to him went unanswered.
Then he did something to publicly humiliate and ridicule her: he un-friended her on Facebook and changed his relationship status from “in a relationship” with her to “in a relationship” with someone else. That day, 1,459 of his closest friends, many of whom happened to be her Facebook friends too, saw the status update.
Her real friends told her to forget about him, and tried to convince her that he wasn’t worth crying over.
But they all overlooked the fact that she was still in love with him.
For several weeks, she walked around with her heart squeezed in a vice-like grip. She couldn’t eat or sleep and her studies began to suffer. She spent almost every waking minute trying to think of ways to win him back.
She made a video telling him how much she loved him, posted it on YouTube and sent him the link. She also sent him small gifts in the mail, called a radio station to dedicate a song to him, and asked one of his friends to pass a message on to him.
Her efforts were ignored.
At this stage, some of you might be thinking, “This is starting to get a bit creepy. Sounds like she’s one step away from being a stalker.”
Many people who have been dumped experience such an overpowering desire to get back with the dumper that they lose the ability to think rationally. And it can affect men as much as it does women. Even usually levelheaded, well-disciplined men can begin to lose the plot. Indeed, there’s no telling how anyone might react based on how they behave under normal circumstances.
For example, if Hitler had lived long enough, he might have been dumped by his mistress, Eva Braun, and under such circumstances, he would probably have become obsessed with winning her back. As one of the most powerful men in the world, Hitler probably had a lot of self-control, but I can picture him hiding in the bushes near Eva’s house, waiting for her to come home, bombarding her with flowers and goose-stepping around her office car park in the hope of catching a glimpse of her.
If you had told Hitler to pull himself together and get on with the war, he would have bellowed at you (at the very least) for trying to give him advice. Rational advice would not have brought Eva back to him.
It was the same thing with my friend’s daughter.
One day, when the pain became unbearable, she called her mother.
“Stop trying to contact him!” was the first thing my friend said to her daughter.
But she might as well have told a heroin addict to stop taking drugs, for all the good it did.
“I can’t,” her daughter wailed. “I keep thinking about all the wonderful times we had together.”
“Then don’t think about the wonderful times, think about the bad times.”
“But there were no bad times.”
“Didn’t he just dump you? Surely that constitutes the worst kind of bad time.”
“He just doesn’t know what he’s doing.”
“Perhaps it would help if you were to start to do some of the things you used to do when you were single,” she said, trying a different tack.
“But doing the singles stuff will only underscore the fact that I’ve lost him.”
“Well, just keep busy, get out and meet people. And avoid getting involved in a rebound relationship!” she said, exhausting her breakup advice.
“But I don’t want a rebound relationship.”
That’s when my friend realised that her daughter wasn’t ready for advice.
When someone gets dumped by the person they love, they often don’t want to listen to opinions about what’s best for them. They want to cry, rant, and rave, and goosestep around the car park. And once that’s done, they’ll eventually see sense.
It’s just a shame that Eva didn’t dump Hitler. She could have single-handedly put an end to the war.

Oh, To Hell!

The Tragedy of Othello, The Moor of Venice (1952)

There are conspiracy theory stories surrounding William Shakespeare. The first says that he could not have written the playwrights by himself looking at his non-aristocratic family background. People like Earl of Oxford Edward de Vere and Sir Francis Bacon are some of the likely candidates who are the possible real authors. Another theory is, of course, the alien intervention of infusing wisdom to mankind to improve them culturally.

So with that background, I decided to watch Orson Welles' presentation of Othello. Seriously, I was clueless about Othello - I never had the chance to read it.

The black-and-white movie made in 1952 with many versions- the one I watched is the 1992 restored version. It starts with a funeral procession and backtracks to the unceremonious union of matrimony of Othello (a Moor, a North African general of the Venetian army) and Desdemona. His jealous 'comrades', Diago and Cassio stir the serenity by instigating Desdemona's father to accuse Othello of winning her heart through witchcraft. Othello manages to convince the royal courts of his noble intentions through his flowery rendition of love speech.
In the meantime, war breaks out with Cyprus. Othello leads his army to war, bringing his wife along. In midst of war, Diago manages to start a rumour that Desdemona has a soft spot for Cassio. Diago also manages to start a mayhem within the army by getting Cassio intoxicated. Cassio is humiliated by Othello.
Being the wolf in sheep's clothing that he is, he even manages to cast the seed of doubt in Othello's mind on Desdemona's fidelity. By placing Desdemona's handkerchief in Cassio's cell, Diago convinces Othello of her vice. The enraged general smothers her on the same matrimonial bed that she allegedly soiled. Emilio, Desdemona's maid and Iago's wife realizes her husband's ill intent and vouchers for Desdemona's chastity. Frustrated, Othello commits suicide. Cassio becomes Governor of Cyprus and Iago is apprehended.

Spoken in old poetic English complemented with excellent acting from Orson Welles as a broody morose filled general is an interesting watch. I get the feeling that many actors that we know like Sivaji Ganesan (maybe noisier), Marlon Brando and P. Ramlee (In 6 Jahanam) have followed his way of acting.

Why this kolaveri, man?

Austerity, what's that? Spanish King Juan Carlos slammed for £27,000 elephant hunting trip as his country drowns in debt and half of youngsters are jobless. Check here

From the time cavemen were running from the feared mammoth and saber toothed tigers, they always tried out ways to be in control over their predators. So, they used their thinking cap and the God given fifth sense to outwit them so much so that men now control most of the planet and have sent many of those animals into hiding and extinction. The nearest that the average man come in contact with animals are either cooked, domesticated or when.they pay to see them caged.
Even at this age and time when we are supposed to be civilized and cultured, some people find joy in gunning down animals just because they can - not for their food, hide or self defence and exhibit their kill for others to awe!

Bengal Tiger floored

One notorious man-eating tigress known as Champawat (pictured above) killed some 200 men and women before being driven out of Nepal. She moved to another location, this time in India, and continued to kill bringing her total up to 436 before she was tracked down and killed in 1911. The Champawat tigress was, as man eaters usually are, extremely cunning, and she was only found by Jim Corbett because he managed to follow the trail of blood the tigress left behind after killing her last victim, a 16-year-old girl. 

 
Photograph showing the Prince of Wales, holding rifle, posing with members of his party and a dead tiger, during his tour of India, 1875-76.

An advertisement on their webpage screams:

Wishbone Outfitters offers 2 day Trophy Bison hunts alone or in combination with our Trophy Elk hunts. No license is required for this hunt. Our bison package includes experiences guides, capeing, field dressing as well as lodging and meals. Taxidermy and meat cutting is available locally.

And God's army marches on....

The message (1976)
I thought of giving a go at a movie on Prophet Mohammad. I was curious to see how they made a movie about the Prophet as the Moslems are known to be touchy about his depiction as no depiction can be as perfect as He is. Remember the Danish caricature of him and the ruckus and bloodshed that it created.
At the beginning of the film, the producers clarified that their story was authenticated and approved for screening by some high authority in Islam. In keeping with the sensitivities of Moslems, the Prophet is not acted by any actors and even his voice is not heard. His orders are repeated by people around him. His view is shown as if he is looking through the camera.
The movie predates a time when Mecca appears apparently prosperous with thriving business activities and multiple religious festivities but beneath the apparent prosperity, there are the unhappy lot - the slaves and the female population who are treated as second class citizen as female infanticide is so prevalent.
Then comes along an illiterate shepherd who claims to be a prophet, recites wise phrases and promises a religion where all men and women are equal, between and amongst them. He promises a just religion where slaves can stand shoulder in shoulder and embrace their masters in the name of brotherhood. Naturally, Mohammad's immediate relatives, the slaves who have no rights, the nomads who are looked down upon are overjoyed. The ruling clan, the well to do and the rich are not impressed.
Just like many major social transformations in the history of mankind, religion gained popularity amongst the downtrodden and the cast-down for promise of better life and equality. As expected, any change in social arrangement is paralleled with defence of status quo by man's primordial primitive defence mechanism - violence, gore and blood shed! The story of this film is all too familiar to readers of Malaysian post 1970 history textbooks. -Mohamad and his followers are persecuted, the hijra to Medina, the building of the first mosque, fights with the Mecca ruler, the 10year truce plan which crumbled after 2, the snowballing of number of believers, the march of Moslems back into Mecca, the conquer of Mecca, the destruction of idols donning the interior of Kaabah and meaningless violence all in the name of proclaiming that their God is superior than the other's.

The movie ends with various quotations and advice apparently from the Prophet which promotes universal good, peace and the care of environment and the unfortunate fellow human beings. Looks like also the good teachings of God have been hijacked and manipulated by man for their own selfish agenda.

A little bit of trivia...

The producer had big problems trying to get finances for the production. After hitting a dead end in Hollywood, this film was actually financed by the presently recently disposed despot, Muamar Gadaffi. It was filmed in Libya and Morocco but I am darn sure that they were scenes of Malaysian mosques and Malay Moslem congregation praying.

Just as I had thought before watching the movie that Anthony Quinn is to act as the Prophet, an extremist Moslem group took siege of a building in Washington prior to its premier screening under this assumption. It was only settled after lost of several lives.

Memorable quote:

"Yes, I am Prophet of God. Even I do not know what would become of me!"

Blast from the past

Out of the Past (1946)

Put a suave man in hat and trench-coat, a sultry temptress, all smoking lots of cigarettes, flirting, double talks, set in a black and white background with a convoluted story with a theme nothing black-and-white about, a lethargic masculine voice narrating the inner thoughts of the hero in the background - you have it: a film noir!

Continuing the journey of cultural renaissance, I happened to bump into another film noir starred by Hollywood legends Robert Mitchum and Kirk Douglas.

Jeff Bailey is a small town gas station owner whose quiet life with rippled by a visit from an old pal from his past life. Before settling down here, he had been working as a henchman for a gambling magnate (Whit Sterling).

He is assigned to track down his squeeze (Kathy Moffat, Jane Greer) who absconded with $40,000 after shooting him. He finally tracks her down on Acapulco but becomes hopelessly in love instead of returning her to his boss. Jeff lies that he was unable to locate her but instead lead a secret life in San Francisco with her newfound femme fatale. Another henchman finds them, a fight ensued and his female friend shoots him down. It is at that time that he discovered her bank book with the money deposited - a neat sum of 40 grants! She then scoots off! Realising that he had been taken for a ride, he buries the dead body and takes a pseudonym and lay down the radar.

Coming back the present, Sterling's assistant (who visits Jeff in his new life) brings him to his boss to carry out a new task for old time sake. And guess what? Kathy is back with Sterling still confessing her undying love for Jeff on the sly.

Here, it gets murky... The plot becomes too complicated for my nimble simpleton mind. Jeff is supposed to get some incriminating tax documents for Sterling from a lawyer. Lawyer gets killed, Jeff has to steal an affidavit that places him in the previous murder, the cops are on his trail, and even Whit Sterling is shot dead. All crimes were committed by our femme fatale, Kathy!

At the end of the film, Jeff is threatened and had to abscond with Kathy. He leads her straight to a police roadblock. She shoots him, the police kill her, and both lovers perish.

'Out of the Past' is hailed as a film noir extraordinaire. Mitchum with his droopy eyes fits the bill of a disappointed man with a dark past very well. The low lighting sets the mood for its dark theme!

How Michael Douglas sounds and speaks like his father especially in the movie 'Wall Street' but we know who is copying who. Even with the black and white background, the serenity of the countryside (when it is day) is a smell of fresh air amidst all that tobacco smoke!

Memorable quotes:

• She's a clever little girl, and she's always a hop, skip, and a jump ahead.
• It was the bottom of the barrel, and I scraped it. But I didn't care. I had her.

Gotta move with the times!

The Magnificent Ambersons (1942) 
Another Orson Welles movie, this time a period drama set in the early 20th century when the automobile industry was in its infancy.
The Ambersons were a traditionally rich family via cotton, mills and the like with arrogant George as the sole heir to the family. Upon his coming home from college, his mother holds a party, when George meets Lucy and her father. Lucy's father, Eugene (Joseph Cotton), is considered eccentric as he thought automobile, the unreliable frequently breaking down horseless carriage, is the way of the future.
George's sickly father, Wilbur who outwit Eugene to win his mother in marriage, dies soon afterwards. Eugene, a widower, rekindles his relationship with George's mother, Isabel, now a widow. The haughty
George ridicules Eugene and his automobile industry. As Isabel and Eugene's affair becomes the talk of town, George goes ballistic and tries whatever means to separate this old love couple. Lucy and George's grandfather dies later and the Ambersons fall into poverty. Reality hits and Georgie has to go to work.
Eugene's automobile industry prospers and the incidence of automobile accidents plummets in which George also falls prey. This helps to unite Eugene, Lucy and the remaining of the Ambersons, George and his aunt, Fanny.
Orson Welles wrote the script , directed and narrated in his usual witty thought provoking way. The story is based on a 1918 Pulitzer winning novel. This film is a national heritage and is also considered one of 100 best American films of all time.
The take home message from this offering is that we should change with time and bask in our laurels, otherwise we would be overtaken and left to rot.
May be it is just me but I felt that the movie to be particularly disjointed. Many of the story line is left to my imagination. May be it is because, as in most of Welles' movies, the final product had to be slashed almost an hour of the film!
A good one....though!

Why drive when you can run?

Now that we have upped our marathon training to hyper-drive, the mileage have increased - just finished a 32km run.
Just when you pat yourself on the back for a job well done through life, you get a smack at the back of the head (ala McGee getting a thud on the head from Gibbs in NCIS), which brings you down from your perch in cloud nine to ground earth!
As you are cruising in the still of the 5am darkness at your heart rate pouncing at a steady rate of 150 beats per minute and a pace of 7 minute/km, swoosh like a zephyr overtakes a 74 year senior citizen with a perfect energy efficient posture and no lateral tilt in an almost robotic stance.
Then you meet up a 66 year old  who confesses that he is finally going for his first marathon and was jittery about it. He also reiterated that it would have been easier if he were 40!
Everyone thinks he had it bad. He had endure this to do this and strive hard to do that in spite of the adversities of life. We forget that there others who had it even worse but still came out pretty like a lily from a pond full of stench and creepy crawlies!

NCIS

I just heard of a son of a lorry driver who made it to do medicine in the local varsity. His father could only afford to pay the first semester fees. For the rest of his studies, he earned more than enough money through his ingenious schemes of running a tuition centre to be finance his studies as well as to be able to send back money home!
All these thoughts helps to drive the motivation to reach the outer boundaries of human capability. It is only left for us to explore and not be complacent.
To the naysayers who say, "Why run when you can drive?", I tell them, "Why drive when you can run?"