Papa, don’t preach?

Kappela (Chapel, Malayalam, 2020)
Written & Directed: Muhammad Musthafa

Another Malayalam movie that makes its viewers think.

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/kappela

Growing up, I often saw my mother hovering over my sisters. She would insist on having the final say on how they should dress, behave, and interact with others. My sisters believed that my mother was just a typical conservative mum, thinking her daughters were like beauty queens and that the world was an overly testosterone-charged place waiting to target them. Throughout their teenage years, they disliked my mother for that, but, being obedient girls, they simply complied and focused on their studies.

Later in life, they would tell me about the harassment they endured, as I had already left the house for further education. In hindsight, however, they thought she had to do what a mother must do to guide her children in the right direction. Perhaps they would not be so comfortably settled in life now if not for our mother's vigilance and, perhaps, paranoia. 

Again, when we, the children, became parents ourselves, we also had to balance giving freedom, being modern parents, and educating about predatory behaviours to our own. It became even more difficult with access to the outside world through social media and the spreading of anarchic values celebrated by the leftists as progressive. Whatever Eastern values were promoted are seen as outdated and discarded. 

People who have not been parents themselves might not understand the storyline. Scolding a young girl for sitting as a passenger on her male classmates' bicycle may seem old-fashioned, but her parent had his reasons. After hearing stories of children going astray, parents naturally become cautious. 

A misdialled call leads to romance between an older teenage girl who has failed her public school examinations and a random auto-rickshaw driver. The driver seems like a kind and well-meaning chap. After frequent exchanges of calls, the lovers decide to meet when her parents are away. 

At their rendezvous in another town, there is a frustrated and angry young graduate who is unable to find a job. This young man is seen as a violent individual who does not hesitate to fight for his cause. 

In the story's intriguing development, the audience is shown another side of the nice guy, who is not so nice after all, and the anti-hero is actually a saviour of the naive girl. The nice guy is a predator, and the angry man is a do-gooder. 

How many times have we witnessed these stories unfold repeatedly? The spring of youth, with its hormones impairing rational thought, may have lifelong consequences. Stalking is mistaken for care, and touching is seen as unrestrained passion and a way to express love. Sadly, only hindsight offers perfect clarity.

(P.S. Thanks, JM, for the recommendation.)

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Find love via stalking?

Annayum Rasoolum (Malayalam; 2013)

Story and Direction: Rajeev Ravi

https://madaboutmoviez.wordpress.com/2013/01/24/annayum-rasoolum-
movie-review-tender-love-story-ode-lovely-city/

This is one of those movies where stalking is portrayed as a legitimate way to try to win a girl's heart. The approach is to appear occasionally, put on a penitent expression, and hope that she will pity him and fall for him. The film also depicts a female character with no agency, swayed effortlessly like lallang in the wind, by her parents and the men in her life, without ever making a sound. This role suits Andrea Jeremiah perfectly as her debut in a Malayalam movie, portraying a naïve Catholic girl from a conservative family. 

The feminists among us would cringe that such a story is even allowed to be made, as it may steer society in that direction, since we, descendants of primates, follow the adage 'monkey see, monkey do'! Look around. People come in all forms, sizes, and ways of life. Increasingly, some among us believe that certain people should be just seen and not heard. They are also regressive in their thinking, claiming that all world problems are caused by women, the weaker sex and the ones who carry half the credibility of their male counterparts. Witnesses only carry half the weight. They are given second priority in the distribution of wealth and educational opportunities. And this trend is seen across societies. 

What fascinated me about this movie is the location. Shot in the remote and less developed areas of Kerala, in Kochi and Vichy, regions 'discovered' by the Portuguese in the late 15th century. These areas are also adjacent to the most familiar tourist spots, the backwaters of Kerala. The cinematography is simply stunning, and viewers would not mind the slow storytelling because of the visual gratification on offer. 

It is a story of love at first sight when Muslim taxi driver Rasool spots Anna, a saree shop assistant. She takes the ferry to work every day. Our hero believed the best way to win her over was to stalk her, to follow her to work. It worked. The problem mainly arose from Anna's family. They wanted Rasool to convert to Christianity, which Rasool refused. 

It swings like a yo-yo. Anna's family decide to marry her off to a random widower. In a scene almost reminiscent of the final scene from 'The Graduate', Rasool makes a dash to pull Anna away from a pre-wedding counselling course at a church. 

More trouble ensues, complicating matters further. As the ultimate solution for all life's crises, in the Indian movie style, there must be a death. 

Another crowd-pleaser in the film is the music. The songs resemble Sufi music with poetic lines about love, death, and divine forces, infused with Arabic words. It is refreshing to enjoy these Sufi melodies accompanied by electric guitars and drums.

 

The movie performed well at the box office and was nominated for many awards, winning a few on the technical side. 

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A time when stalking was normal...

'96 (Tamil,  2018)

Director: C. Prem Kumar

I remember a time in the 1980s when many Tamil movies had a particular storyline. A boy would fancy a girl, but circumstances would not allow them to fall in love. Most of the time, it would be because of different social and economic statuses, or they could be from feuding families, akin to Romeo and Juliet's story.

The Family would come to know. They would put up blockades, but against all odds, the boy would persist. He would look at his beau from afar, her every move, and she would fall flat for him. She thinks he loves her so much that he finds nothing more worthwhile in life than looking at her 24/7 like a lunatic. In most modern societies, that is called stalking.

In 1983, it was perfectly normal for Sting to watch his gal's every breath and every move. In the 2000s, however, that would warrant a police report and a restraining order.

Somehow, in this 2018 Tamil nostalgic movie, the girl regrets that she missed all the stalkings. She would have married him if only she knew he was there in every important moment of her life, spying on her. How bizarre. I do not think it would work on any millennial or Gen Z anywhere in the world. 

Ram, a travel photographer, takes his students on a field trip. After finishing the trip, he makes an unscheduled stop at the town where he used to stay until the 10th standard. He meets up with the school guard, the same person who used to work 22 years previously. Ram gets the contact of one of his classmates and gets himself included in a private WhatsApp chatgroup. That leads to a reunion.

Everyone is happily married with kids except for Ram. He leads life with a dark cloud shadowing over him. He had soft spots for his classmate, Janu, in 10th Standard. Family financial problems caused Ram's family to move suddenly in the dark of night without bidding her farewell. The crux of the story is about the Ram-Janu love story and to continue from where they left off. The problem is that Janu is also married with a preteen child.

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No cats or fishes were used!

Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare (Documentary; 2024)

Director: Lyttanya Shannon

This is an unbelievable case of catfishing that went on for ten years. It was initiated by a close relative for no apparent reason. For those out of the loop, catfishing is a new way to deceive the unwary by creating a fake online profile and building a relationship. The profile will use fake pictures, and the final modus operandi is to swindle people of their money. No money was transacted to add more perplexity to the situation narrated in this documentary. 

Kirat Assi invested her ten youthful years in a long-distance relationship with a social media character whom she thought was an acquaintance with whom she had one casual face-to-face contact. The guy, Bobby Junda, was the brother of her second cousin's boyfriend. 

All the people in the story are from the small Kenyan Indian Punjabi community in the UK. Kiran had a fallout with her childhood boyfriend when she was about 30. She had her life in order, though, working as a DJ on a local radio.

Kirat starts communicating with Bobby online. Over the years, Kiran sees him meeting up with his wife, having a child, and separating from his wife and then suddenly, Kiran is told that Bobby has been shot. Then, again, through communication with other 'common friends', it is said Bobby was in New York under the witness protection programme. 

What followed after that were prolonged hospitalisations, multiple surgeries and loss of ability to speak. The question of how a person under the US witness programme could still be with acquaintances was raised but was given a wish-washy explanation. Love soon blossomed, and both confessed their devotion to each other, all online, one in the UK and the other in New York. Soon, Booby's toxic nature manifests, affecting Kirat's mental and physical health. Nevertheless, she lingered on. The pressure to be married was palpable as her biological ticking, so she thought.

Almost a decade into the relationship came the much-dilly-dallied meeting in London. Again, Bobby delayed his meeting even though he was already in London. Kiran engaged a private investigator to track him down. Hold behold. This leads to the home of a particular gentleman named Bobby Junda, whose resemblance to the social media profile is uncanny. He appears to be still married to the same girl he is supposed to have divorced with a child. This is the real Bobby Junda, and Simran, Kirat's cousin, stole his identity.

Then came the police reports and investigation. Kirat's cousin had been using Bobby's profile with a fake account. Not only that, but she also created multiple fake profiles to build a big group to outwit Kirat. When confronted, Simran refused to comment but apologised in private.

For all her shenanigans and the emotional and physical trauma she caused, Simran got away scot-free. Simran herself had to endure embarrassment when her mischief was exposed, not to mention the community's gossip. In those ten years, Simran lived a whole life with a high-paying job, getting married, and having a child. Kirat, now in her mid-40s, feels she has missed the boat of finding a life partner and having kids. These are important to her. She thinks that all the pointless waiting and the building of a hopeless dream happened because of Simran's actions.

Unfortunately, the UK legal system does not have a provision to prosecute someone for catfishing. It is not a criminal offence.

* Catfishing is the fabrication of a false online identity by a cybercriminal for deception, fraud, or exploitation. It is most commonly used for romance scams on dating apps, websites, and social media platforms. The 2010 film Catfishing popularised the term. It is said that catfishes used to be placed in the same tanks while transporting cod. Catfishes are natural enemies of codfish. By keeping them together, the cod will swim around, scared for their lives. Hence, the cod will appear more energetic and fresh.

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