Life is very short and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend!

I overheard a conversation recently.

"How come she is still a pain in the butt? Now that she is seeing a therapist, I thought that she would be less toxic. Hell, no. She is still the same old nuisance. All the time and therapy down the drain!" said one in a hushed voice.

"Well, the purpose of therapy is for her own wellbeing. Not to be a plush toy for other to squeeze," her friend replied. "It is for her to be able to withstand biatches like us!'

That seems to be right. Counselling and therapy are not meant that it will be a sun-shiny day for everybody. The primary concern is the individual. It may sound very self-centric and narcissistic but that is the reality. This science developed around the time when the century was undergoing massive transformations. People, who before that lived their lives just as a building block in a giant jigsaw puzzle called society, started living for themselves. If ex-communication used to be a death sentence, it became irrelevant in the new era. Welcome to the century of self! It was about this time that the great monarchs and great empires crumbled. People were fed up serving others. They wanted to serve themselves. They wanted to live life for themselves. Gone in the wind was the motto 'Charity beyond self' to be replaced by 'Charity begins at home'.

The individual soon became the centre of modern society. The focus fell upon oneself to cope with the pressures exerted by the society upon individual liberty. The society was no longer the bedrock for solace. It became caustic. Every man (or woman) was for himself. They think, therefore they exist. Of course, the therapist may talk of existential psychotherapy to treat social maladies, it is in no way going to explain the purpose of our existence - is it for our individual selves of is it a continuum of something much bigger?

Life is very short and there's no time for fussing and fighting my friend!

Centre of the universe

Hindu mythology has it that Lord Shiva's consort Parvati had a unique fruit (Gnana Pazham) that she wanted to give to either of her sons, Ganesha and Murugan. It could not be divided half as its magical power would be lost. Hence, Parvati decreed that the first child to go across the universe would receive the booty. Murugan, using his peacock as his vehicle, flew across the universe in no time to claim his loot. When he returned, he was furious when Ganesha had already received the fruit as he circled his parents, claiming that his parents were his entire universe. That made Murugan raving mad and left home and stayed sulking in self-exile in Palani Hills. The hill was named 'Pazham Nee' (Palani, that he was the fruit of wisdom) by Shiva to cajole Murugan back but in vain.

Ganapati outwitting his brother

Nicolaus Copernicus and Galileo Galilei had to retract their scientific discovery that the Earth was in fact not the centre of the universe. The church, I guess, wanted to be in the centre of things and have the final say!
Just like that, the children nowadays have the unshakeable notion that they are the centre of the universe and the sun actually sets for them and they deserve everything to be done for them.If you go to any mall or public place, you may encounter toddlers terrorising and their imbecile parents (mostly fathers) running around like a joker trying to keep up with their whims and fancies. This will also be complemented by the grandparents (if there are up to it) to feed them with the more sugary drinks to make them more a brat than they already are! Probably, these grandparents are trying to repair their dented image after being a tyrant with their children a generation previously. The sum of all these is a child with narcissistic tendency and delusion of grandiosity.   

Mad about myself?

Narcissus gazing at his own reflection

There I was minding my own business without disturbing anybody, quietly typing my two sens worth of worthless opinions which was not going to change the destiny of mankind but to provide light comic relief to my die-hard followers. Sometimes I do wonder if they are smiling (?laughing) with or at me!
Anyway, after last StarMag's column in the Sunday Star newspaper, my family members have unanimously decided that my appropriate place is in the loony bin. They have collectively diagnosed me to suffer from NPDS (Narcissistic Personality Disorder Syndrome). Sufferers of this disorder are said to be self-absorbed individuals who think very highly of themselves, put themselves on a self-made pedestal and forever think of themselves as being better than others and find gratification and satisfaction by other's praises.

That is the problem, isn't it? There is a thin line between ingenuity and lunacy. Some professions survive because of narcissistic attributes -  movie industry, beauty pageant, maybe law too! Modern society has also encouraged its young by praising their effort even if it is the most horrendous painting or singing. Blind criticism is discouraged as it retards imagination and the development of inner potentials. The child who has been thinking very highly of himself, not knowing where he actually stands because grading and placing is class is taboo (so old school). So, in a way, society actually encourages narcissism. On top of that, Western society encourages individualism. Everybody is talking about 'my right', 'my life', 'my wish', unlike the traditional Eastern cultures that were set to continue the status quo, to serve and care for the elders and society at large.

Anyway, modern medicine is known to create diseases that are non-existent. Oh, you are 80 and you don't have a good sex life - you must be having erectile dysfunction, then you will need Viagra. Oh, you are 70 and your knees ache, the synovial fluids must have reduced - you need Viatril-S. Oh, you are 60 and you have wrinkles - you need Botox. Oh, you are 50 and you have been eating like a pig all your life and your belly is hanging like an apron - you need a tummy tuck. And have you noticed how the recommended cholesterol levels at which medications are instituted have reduced over the years and the big drug companies are laughing all the way to the bank?

And how the medical (especially psychologists) have labelled certain defence mechanisms at various professions - e.g. murderers sublimate to be surgeons, robbers become bank tellers, sexual perverts become gynaecologists, people who find it hard to communicate with fellow humans become animal rights activists!

And do not forget how anyone who opposes the Kremlin is labelled as schizophrenic in the iron curtain days.

Well, anyone can say what they want. Don't worry die-hard followers, the hits will keep on rolling....like the number of new diseases that they are going to come up with!