Life in the fast lane, not easy!

Did you forget to reflect?
shuttershock.com

Living in the fast lane is not for the faint-hearted. After the recent Weinstein-type of exposé in a hospital in Malaysia, my thoughts were drawn to an event that happened more than some 30 years ago. 

As the Weinstein effect goes on hyperdrive, one cannot help but wonder whether how the perpetrators did what they did. It baffles how they got away with it. Did they not realise that it was morally wrong what they were doing? Are they too engrossed into it that they find it difficult to untangle? Was it an addiction? Was the power trip too compelling? Did they think that it was mutually agreed upon; hence it was entirely legitimate?

I remember a varsity friend, who, with his new found freedom away from the prying eyes of his parents and having almost securing himself of a degree, wanted to live to savour the forbidden fruits of life. With his self-perceived appreciation of his physique, he ventured into the business of swinging. Justifying nature's design of random spewing of the male's seed in search of the best chalice, he was on a prowl; in search of companions but not for long-term but for 'hit and run.'

These are some of his life experiences that he was willing to impart even without my prodding. Adultery, fornication or whatever you may name it, is no child's game. It is not for the individuals who have more to lose than a bruised ego and a negative public perception. He must have a hide thicker than an elephant's. He must be immune to the ignores, the non-approval looks of the intended target and must have quick enough to duck when the flying missile or even shoes go airborne. It is an art to pick his choice but even the hardcore in the game sometimes flounder. He must be shameless in showing up in the most unexpected places to create the element of surprise to market himself as interestingly unpredictable enough to pluck the string of the hearts of the heart he intends to pierce. He must be so self-assured of himself that nothing can crack his nut. A lot of precious time need to be sacrificed towards this end. 


Of course, the whole excitement is a passionate one, but emotion has to be kept at bay. One does not want to carry a piece of baggage so heavy when all this is over that it would come haunting during the next hunt. The separation, when it eventually happens, it has to go as that is the plan, should be amicable. Both parties must go on agreeable terms, leaving only with good memories and no resentment. There is also an unwritten 'bro code' where everyone is gentlemanly enough not to come in the way of their next stealth.  No trails should be left.
The post breaks up meets must be cordial if the parties ever run into each other paths.

So, you see, the whole affair of spreading the web is hard work. It is not for sluggards who cannot stomach disappointments, rejections, and perseverance. 

What happened to the varsity friend character, you may wonder? Well, after about a decade of smooching around landing on nectar after nectar, he called it quits. Decades after chasing skirts (or attempting to remove them), he settled for an arranged match from a God-forsaken place. The last time I saw him, he described himself to be blessed in a union made in heaven. Things could not be better. He could not ask for anything more. He sometimes asks himself whether he deserved such a boon!

He also reiterated that his old ways are history and do not excite him anymore but one always wonders the truth is such statements...

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Carefree, care less, careless

Ladybird, Ladybird (1994)
Director: Ken Loach

Now, how often have we seen of individuals, in our day to day lives, who are obviously leading themselves into situations of self-destruction and hopelessness? The clear and present dangers of their moves are apparent to everyone except themselves. They stare into abyss and abyss becomes a part of them. They plunge into acts which self-destructive in nature. They go astray, but there is nothing you can do about it. Your pleas and words of advice just fall on deaf ears. Just how often you have heard them say, " I know what I am doing!", "I am in control here!", "Just leave me alone!", "It is my life!" actually and "Don't control my life!"
In the era of self-empowerment and individualism, nobody can put them in order especially if they are no longer minors. These people not only spiral into self-destruction but pull others into the whirlpool of the same.

The authority takes charge of their lives, but these people do not take it lying down. They resist and retaliate, using emotional blackmail as their shield and tears as lubricants. Lest they forget that the affected parties of their actions also need to lead lives of their own in an emotionally comforting and stable environment. Forget man-made secular legislations, and ancient men used the fear of the watchful 'eyes' of an unknown Being and the repercussions of their worldly acts in an eternal after-life. Our ancestors tried to put law and order into society and put the responsibility of parenting, to take care of the after-effects of our innate biological need to sow our seeds.

This disturbing film is supposedly based on a real story. I suppose we have to be wary of this precept 'based on'. With artistic licence, the sequence of actual events could have been spiced up to arouse our fancy.

It starts in a karaoke bar. Maggie, a single mother with four children from four different fathers, gets cosy with a Paraguayan political refugee, Jorge. The tell their past lives to each other and like a flip of a coin, they start living together. Jorge is a mild-mannered man, but Maggie is a fire-brand woman who has anger management issues and has had repeated relationships with abusive partners. Because her four children were partially burnt in a trapped burning council apartment, the Social Services decide to send her kids to foster homes. She had locked them in when she had gone to work.

The title of the film refers to a silly nursery rhyme of a mother whose children were trapped in a burning house!

Jorge and  Maggie go on to have a baby. Unfortunately, Maggie's past came haunting her. The social services' officers caught up with her and took her newborn, not once but twice.

The filmmaker tries to highlight the problems of single-parenting and the society's seemingly careless attitude towards carefree lifestyles.