The life of a TaiTai 太太 lady

What is a TaiTai 太太?
noun 
1. A term used in Chinese circles for supreme wife (implying situation where a man is wealthy enough to have several "wives") but no longer strictly interpreted. Term now applies to citizens of the world with an Asian viewpoint who have bounds of time and money. A TaiTai 太太 is a privileged lady of means. 
2. Supreme of the Supreme is its literal translation. The term implies respect.
Real TaiTai's 太太 meet the following criteria
1. A tremendous amount of leisure time
2. Lots of money to spend. A TaiTai 太太 travels a lot
3. Concerned about status, social standing, and owning the 'latest in anything" that is remotely hot (ie: Pashminas. Fendi Baguette Bag,....) God Forbid a TaiTai 太太 be seen with last year's style!
4. Keenly interested ih beauty upkeep (Pedicures / manicures/ facials/ slimming treatments) Will stop at nothing to eradicate the tiniest sign of ageing.
5. Often associated with do-good charity works and community.
6. Discerning about the company she keeps. Must be in the right social circles
7. Well educated and global in perspective. Has lived on more than one continents. Experience and detail are what distinguishes a real tai tai from the wanna-be's.
8. Buy in multiples and only the real thing. To get a better price and for their other homes in New York, London, Hong Kong, Vancouver and Singapore, they will bargain.

Of course the word TaiTai is more than what my sister and I used to describe our paternal grandfather. I can  tell with a straight face that we had never seen him sober. The few times we saw him, he was either slouched in a post drunken midday stupor or be boisterous with the little kids around him dancing to an imaginary tune murmuring tai,tai,tai.... Hence, his nickname was Tai Tai Tata so as to differentiate from our maternal grandfather who had his own not so braggable feats himself.

Ka ching!

Of course I was fascinated when I stumbled upon this concept of Tai Tai lady, which I think is every Asian lady's secret wish. Laze all day, pampered by maids and butlers at the lift of a finger, showed compassionate to the downtrodden and the abused as though as to wash away their own  guilt of unladylike behaviour to people around them, appear to be seen charitable so her own 'friends' can die of envy, brag about their achievements, keep their appearance spick and span, pedicure, manicure, waxing, botox, capsicum wrapping body contouring, wrapping in latest wear complemented by matching accessories and brag all day about their children's achievements of who she probably do not know about their whereabouts! The cash cow (ka ching!) probably is  more than happy to be away from the clutches of the tai tai wife and is probably is quite immersed up to the knees with his own imbroglio!

The 50 somethings are people, not cadavers!

Monday September 17, 2012

Fashion not only the domain of the young

BUT THEN AGAIN
By MARY SCHNEIDER
star2@thestar.com.my

Who says fashion is the exclusive domain of the young?

MY mum wears my T-shirts,” said a teenager during a call to a local radio station. “She’s 50. That shouldn’t be allowed.”

“I recently saw another woman about the same age wearing a pair of tight shorts and high heels,” responded the deejay, who was inviting callers to talk about the issue. “That shouldn’t be allowed either.”

Had I not been driving at the time, I might have phoned the radio station and asked them what all the fuss was about. Living in a world that is facing global warming, starvation, human rights violations, land degradation and racial tensions, surely there are more important things to worry about than the clothes that the over-fifties are wearing.

My choice: A woman should have the freedom to wear whatever she wants, no matter what her age.

As I continued to listen, I realised that the majority of people calling the radio station felt that older folks should dress in an age-appropriate manner. For example, it seems that some young people are traumatised, or so they would have you believe, by the sight of their middle-aged mother wearing a short dress, or showing cleavage, or sporting loud designs.

“She looks like mutton dressed up as lamb,” some of them said.

As if it’s okay for anyone to refer to their mother as an old sheep.

It seems to me that if a woman raises someone to have opinions of their own, and instills in them the confidence necessary to call a radio station to express those opinions, the least her offspring can do is respect her and her fashion choices.

I’m not sure who came up with the idea that fashion is the exclusive domain of the young, but I feel we should all have the freedom to wear whatever we want, no matter what age. Why are women of a certain age expected to become invisible, to blend into the background with their middle-aged uniforms? Since when did middle age diminish a woman’s right to be noticed?

I’m not a fashion slave, but I do know what I like and what I think looks good on me. And that’s all that matters to me.

When I look in the mirror, I can see that I’m in my fifties, but I still smile at my reflection on those days when I think I look good – something that much younger person might find difficult to understand.

Many years ago, when I was in my early 20s, I remember walking into a Scottish pub behind two old ladies. I’m not sure how old they really were, because anyone over the age of 40 was immediately thrown into the “old” category, but I do remember they had grey hair and were a little overweight.

As I walked through the front door of the pub, they stopped in front of a large mirror on the wall, removed their coats and studied themselves. One of them patted her hair and examined her lipstick, while the other smoothed down her dress, a bright red number that seemed out of place on someone of her years.

“Is that a new dress?” asked the lipstick lady.

“Yes,” said her friend. “Do you like it?”

“It’s lovely. You look gorgeous in it.”

“Thanks. You look gorgeous yourself.”

With a final pat of their hair they both disappeared into the bar, confident that they did indeed look gorgeous.

“What does it matter?” I said to myself. “It’s not as if anything is going to happen. There will be no admiring glances, eyes making contact over a crowded room, offers of drinks, telephone numbers being exchanged, possibilities of romance …”

How naive of me. These things do matter, but I just didn’t have the wisdom to realise it at the time.

I think more and more women of a certain age are defying stereotypes in a way that makes some people feel uncomfortable. However, the more women go against societal norms, the more expectations will change.

We will surely become more accepting of our aging bodies, which will surely benefit everyone. Because let’s face it, none of us can escape the effects of gravity and the lines that time and life’s experiences leave on our bodies.

But we can choose what we put on our bodies, and how we want to express our personality through clothes.

If I want to wear a sunshine yellow mini skirt and crimson tank top, because they make me feel bright and happy, don’t spoil my day by telling me that I’m looking like an old sheep pretending to be a lamb.

Baaaaaaaa!

Steel Orchid

The Lady 2011
In every lifetime will live amongst us icons who will only be appreciated after their demise. A lady still in flesh and blood who fits this icon in present life who is fondly referred to as the female Mandela and Steel Orchid is the 'The Lady' depicted in this film.
The movie does not offer anything more than what we already know about Aung San Suu Kyi and her quest for democracy for Burma. It explores more of the relationship between her and her husband as well as her two boys.

A family portrait, with Aung San Suu Kyi

(in white) as a toddler, taken in 1947

shortly before her father's assassination.

In 1947, her father is General Aung San is assassinated in Rangoon. Fast forward Suu Kyi returns home to see her stroke inflicted mother and is drawn into the politics of the day. One thing leads to another and she is under house arrest and the family (the husband and sons) are separated for years. It shows the passion and support exhibited by the family to fulfil 'The Lady's insatiable effort to continue her father's dream to pave democracy for the people of Burma. For this effort, she had to give up being with the sons during their growing years and even miss being with the love of her life in his dying days with prostatic cancer. The most touching part of the movie was she was conferred the Nobel Prize for Peace in absentia and how his elder son gave a speech followed by a symphony recital of Pacelbel's Canon in D.
Overall, Michelle Yeoh (our Malaysian ambassador in Hollywood) did a good job in term portraying a modern icon with her mannerism and giving speeches in Burmese (she learnt it) but somehow the film failed to make quite an everlasting impression to attain that high status in my collection of classic films.