Part II (a): Eyes Opened
My dream finally came true in my fourth year in UTP. I was offered a 6-month internship placement in BASF world biggest chemical site in Ludwigshafen, Germany. As a chemical engineering student, and being the first student in UTP to get the offer, it was indeed was a great blessing to me. So I went.
These photos show the entrance to BASF Ludwigshafen site, which housed about 38,500 staffs. I don't remember the size of the site, what I remember is, you need a bus to go from the entrance to your department building, and of course from one department to another. In 2005, I was a little tiny intern there. :)
Internship in Germany was my first taste of international exposure as they take interns from all over the world to Germany. Here are the pictures of some of my friends there. I spent countless of hours with some of these friends here discussing about socialism, welfare state, capitalism, democracy, war, revolution, religion, and just about anything under the sun.
Due to language barrier (I know little German), I needed an English-speaking church and I finally found one and attended Rhein River Baptist Church (RRBC). RRBC is a church established to serve the spiritual needs of the American army who are based in Mannheim (a city near to Ludwigshafen). I was one of the few non-military church member there. Through my interaction with the American armies in RRBC, I began to understand what "Democracy", "Liberty" and "Patriotism" really mean. Below is a picture of me and some of my church mates in RRBC.
During my stay in Germany, I also took the opportunity to travel to neighboring countries like France, Italy, Luxembourg and England. It was in these trips that I foster my love for arts and architectures, which remain till today.
Before coming to Germany, as a top student, I thought I knew a lot. After I came here, I realized how little I knew about the world. I began to question why in Malaysia we did not learn a more complete world history, different political systems, different ideologies, arts and culture? Neither have we been taught to think critically and objectively. I began to realize that what we've been taught in the schools have been crafted in such a way that we can be easily manipulated if we are not careful. Our syllabus was (and still is) flawed and politically biased.
I have to admit that before coming to Germany, I was an ardent supporter of Dr Mahathir and his legacy. I read his book, watched his documentary, supported the blind protection of GLCs and race-based affirmative action, thinking that it's true 'patriotism'. (You can see how brain-washed I was then.)
Six months of internship in Germany has completely changed my world view , my eyes began to open, my previous perceptions shattered and I began to see things very differently. There is actually a much BETTER way for Malaysia.
I was 22 years old then.
Part II (b): A Disheartened Young Malaysian
After the internship, I came back to Malaysia to finish my study in UTP and graduated in 2006. Before I finished my study in UTP, I received offer from my dream university, Cambridge University, for a program called MPhil in Advanced Chemical Engineering. I was so happy! So I started to apply for funding. I wrote to Petronas Education Unit (I was Petronas scholar), JPA, Khazanah, MCA and many other governmental and non-governmental organizations. I didn't get any. Although disappointed, I wasn't blaming anybody as I understood that nobody was obliged to fund me. Despite financial difficulties in his business in 2006, my dad agreed to fund my study in Cambridge.
However, I still had one problem. I was bonded to Petronas for 10 years and was supposed to serve my bond after I finished my study in UTP. So I wrote to Petronas again to ask for deferment of service until after I finished my master degree in Cambridge. A few weeks later, I was called to come to the education unit. I really thought things will be settled quickly and I might even had a chance to persuade them to fund my study.
So I went with high hope. There, I saw a nice guy, he told me that the program was great etc and he really wanted to help, but it was in the policy that they couldn't allow any deferment for the bond or I would have to pay up my bond in lump-sump. Hearing that made me realized that I had no way out. My dream had crashed. I did not blame Petronas for that, as they were just following the contract and it would be a havoc if every scholar would come and ask for deferment or for more funding. I understood that.
However, it was a small incidence in the education unit that made me utterly disappointed with how things work in Malaysia. While waiting at the lounge, I met two returning scholars from Nottingham University, UK. I started to talk to them. To my very surprise, they couldn't even speak proper English! After a while, an education unit guy came and met them, I accidentally saw their results - one of them get second class lower and the another one a third class. That blasted my mind. Here I was, with a CGPA of 3.95/4.00 (if it's in 100% scale, it would be a 98%) 'begging' only for 1 year of deferment, not even a scholarship, but was denied. Here they were, spent 4 years in the UK fully sponsored and yet spoke broken English and graduated with at most, mediocre results.
Am I not as much a Malaysian as them? Being a 23 years old, I was utterly disheartened and disappointed.
Part II (c): The Only Way out
It was just a few days after I came back from Petronas education unit that I received a call from an American oil and gas company informing me that I was recruited. How did I get the job? While searching for scholarships to Cambridge, I casually attended 5 stages of job interviews with this company as my mom adviced me to go for job interview experience. I really couldn't remember what I did during the interview. So being able to get the job, I would say that it's God's open door, or some may say that it is by 'accident'.
Anyway, going back to the story, I was given 2 options from the recruiter: one is to be a local staff and another one is international staff. Of course, there's a huge difference in term of compensation between these 2 options. If I were to choose the latter, I'd have to go to a country called "Turkmenistan", and the salary would allow me to pay up my Petronas bond in just a few months! Turkmenistan might sound scary to many, but I was so excited! I really wanted to see and know more about this part of the world! Since the offer was great and there was no way that I could attend Cambridge anyway, I decided to take up the international assignment.
Turkmenistan was where I spent most of my next 2 years. I was 24 years old when I left home
for Turkmenistan.