Boom boom paw!

11.2.11 saw many KLites going to work blurry-eyed and blood-shot eyes after tossing and turning sleeplessly in beds the night before. It was not because of something they ate or something that was in the air! It was because their Hockkein fellow citizens decided to display their annual piety by openly fulfilling their religious obligations in the open at an unearthly hour accompanied by a nocturnal barrage of TNT and explosive fireworks, oblivious that their act was a nuisance to the non-Hockkeins and non-Chinese. Yeah, everyone knew by then that it was the 8th day of Chinese New Year and the eve of the birth of the Jade Empress, which was celebrated with much pomp and splendour. In the spirit of tolerance, festivities and religion, nobody said anything.
It is funny how homosapiens rationalise their every action and tradition by their needs and environmental requirements, and availability - try getting coconut in Kashmir or Las Vegas for prayers! So, no need for coconut in Eskimo land or desert land for Hindu religious prayers.

The firecrackers...

They insist that firecrackers were essential for the lunar celebrations and were imperative to rid of evil spirits that were lurking to spoil your whole year. But we were doing quite okay in the post Emergency era and the time when the communist terrorist threat was real. Firecrackers were banned then as they could be mistaken for bullets fire-shots. Suddenly, as we get more affluent and peaceful, all these trivial ancient traditions have become more critical and indispensable.

Loud ear-drum shattering, high decibel vibrations of fire-crackers can disturb the psyche of any organism - babies will wail their heads off, a moribund sick patient may just tip over to the afterlife, make a dog or any fierce beast in submission with their tails between their hind legs. Hence, in old wild China, during the lunar festivities, to make it safe for the people to go out and enjoy the celebrations, away from prying wild animals along the village paths, somebody must have successfully tried letting out some crackers to keep them at bay. Over time, it became a tradition to burn crackers during CNY to keep away 'evil spirits".

On Yee Sang...

Another tradition that seems to have given the prominence of late is Yee Sang's practice, where friends and relatives get together to toast a dish of shredded fish, vegetables, fruits, and nuts for good luck on the 6th day of CNY. As we know, this practice started in the early 20th century in the most impoverished part of southern China, where times were terrible, food was scarce, famine was everywhere, and people were leaving their families and motherland for greener pastures. After merrymaking in the name of tradition for a good 5 days, the practical souls decided to put their leftovers - bits of fish, turnips, etceteras - into good use. Again this practice was extrapolated to foster friendship, prosperity and longevity.

Well, about Chap Goh Mei (the 15th and finale of CNY) and the throwing of oranges by maidens, err...., they did not have anything like St. Valentine's Day and heart-shaped chocolate candies to give away then. Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day!

Teohlogy? His words of Tok Kokk...

Patrick Teoh is by all accounts the high priest of 'tokking kok' - a word used quite so often in his maiden book, Teohlogy. It is by no mean the words of God through (or according to) Patrick. Talking about 'tokking kok', when I was in varsity back in 1983, my group of seniors used to use it quite so often that since that was the first time I had heard such a phrase, I actually thought that the word was coined by them. It must have been derived from the saying 'talking cock and bull stories'. Malaysian, being economical in the number of words they like to utter must have shortened it.
An example of Malaysian and his stinginess with words can be seen in any customer service department. In any European, Australian or American shop, if the thing that you are looking for is not available, the shopkeeper/ customer relation officer will go at length to tell you how he will check with his superiors/ other branches and he will get back to you if you could kindly leave for contact, bla, bla... In Malaysia, it would a simple. 'No Stock!!!' Full stop.
For those who grew up in the 80s in Malaysia, Patrick Teoh is no stranger. He was the first radio DJ whose unaccented English and was a regular voice in sponsored radio shows and the only English radio channel 'Breakfast Show'. He used to handle many phone-ins and was razor sharp in his wit and sarcasm. He was fired when his well crafted April Fool joke on how a foreign based company was making a commercial on dancing ducks by placing them on hot-plates worked very well, making everyone (including animal protection societies) up in arms. When the truth was told a few days later, the SPCA was not amused. They lodged a police report for prank.
If Patrick Teoh keeps on writing his brand of book, pretty soon you would see words 'tokking kok' and 'fler'(how Malaysian pronounce the word 'fellow') would make it into the Oxford Dictionary.
If you want an idea of how this book is....
If you think this blog is of a cynical rumbling of a soon to be an old man and is redundantly redundant, then the book can described as something of the same vein but long winded. It is about an senior pretty intelligent (too smart for his pants) Chinaman with the grasp of the language using his level best to take a punch at the government, civil servants and their apathy to the well being of the country. Whenever he can, he also takes a swipe at our southern neighbour, sometimes using crass jokes.
As Teoh points out, we are very good at complaining about  when we are having our beers or teh tarik, forget all about it when we finish it, and complain again when we meet up for another drink, most probably on something new!
I found the book initially a light entertaining read but as the pages progressed, I found it a wee bit tedious as the topics seem repetitive. You can only bash Singaporeans and politicians so much.  Overall it is a good read when you have nothing to do when you are answering nature's call.
P.S. Readers can hit Patrick Teoh's blog which has hit more than 4.5 million visitors. The name of the blog is Niamah!!!, which means 'your mother' in the profane Cantonese dialect - quite how profound!

Sorry, my England (English) not so good one!

Seen in the capital city of Kuala Lumpur

Now, the picture here will paint more than a dull state of our education system. It also gives a non-impressive picture of the malaise (and lackadaisical) attitude of the society. 

Much has been said about the general pathetic decline of the standard of English Language amongst our youth today. I will start sounding worse than a retarded parrot if I go along that line. Malaysians boast of high literacy rate (more than 80%). We are better than most of our neighbours and African nations, anyway! 

Any infant who is babbling to learn the English Language will know what the words 'Father', 'Mother', 'Brother' or 'Sister' mean. Obviously, the advertiser here is offering her services of babysitting not involved in a baby-selling racquet offering couples with baby sisters to their lonely sons! The least the person (advertiser) can do is let someone proofread before jokers like us make fun of them. Is finding a person slightly proficient in English so hard to come by?

The nearest thing remotely English is these people's lives must be watching Mr Bean's pantomime! 

Smooth Operator

Being the introvert I am, from time immemorial, ever since I was young, I remember my mother trying her level best to instil into me the importance of expressing oneself to gain confidence of others and exerting influence over others! Probably she was trying too hard to turn her son into the mould of her prodigy brother. Growing in the Asiatic environment who believes that children should be seen and not heard, it is hard for a child to exhibit his inner feelings.

In that way, children exposed to the Western brand of education are at an advantageous stature to their liking. But there is only so much and so long you can blame your parents and fore-fathers for this handicap. After a certain age, you are on your own...

Master Prabakaran: wonder

if his path followed the same

of many child actors? 

I remember watching a Tamil movie with my sisters where a young preteen precocious orphan who is seen running around the streets in the vicinity of some Hindu temples in Tamil Nadu whilst acting as a tourist guide and putting the adults to shame with his divinely gift of gab and knowledge of the temple ruins (yeah, right!). When we returned after the show, Amma was singing praises about the child star and urged us to be like him at least from the vocal aspect - talking with a clear and crisp voice. Take a listen at it and see for yourself how irritatingly stereotyped the boy is made to be! http://www.rajshritamil.com/Video/Vaa-Raja-Vaa When a Indian Muslim relative once asked my name, I told him so. Being a man probably hard of hearing, he thought that it was 'Hassan Ghani' when it should have been 'Asokan'. Back home it was barrage of missiles for me for mumbling!

If you listened to the podcast above, you heard the interview with Time dot com CEO Afsal Abdul Rahim. As people familiar with the turn of events in the business world are aware, he was roped in to turn the ailing company into red territory. Listening to the way he speaks, with the gift of the gab and all, one can be forgiven to think that he is the saving Messiah for the job! Whether it will materialise or otherwise is yet to be seen.

I do not think my mother's training managed to overturn me into a smooth talking maverick, far from it! During the time of my training for the British professional examinations, my boss tried his level best to make me a capable candidate with a reasonable ability to vocalise my expressions in a sensible and convincing way to convince the English examiners that I was worthy to be a member of their 'boys' club!  
As part of the training, twice a week, I had to present a half an hour presentation on the most mundane topics just to get me into the craft (probably in an artful form, wishful thinking does not hurt) to my peers and subordinates. He even managed to convince (con) me into singing at a karaoke session at a Rotary dinner, all in the name of training with him having a good chuckle in the background. I have come to think that it was done in good faith. Hence, no hard feelings. He still calls me every now and then. 

And the Americans say, "We didn't start the fire! It was already burning."

The bunnies bite back

Dean Johns
Feb 2, 11
11:52am

10 friends can read this story for free

As the Year of the Rabbit gets under way, it is wonderful to witness what no soothsayer, astrologer or 'intelligence' expert apparently predicted: the spreading revolt by Arabs against governments that have been treating them for decades like nothing but dumb, helpless bunnies.

It's like reading a rewrite of 'Animal Farm', seeing the formerly timid, compliant and defenceless multitude turn on the corrupt and greedy pigs and self-appointed top dogs that have so long made their lives a misery.

And even more satisfying is that this series of grassroots revolutions has caught the whole world on the hop, and once again exposed the hypocrisy of the American eagle in its hypocritical foreign policy of trying to run with the hare and simultaneously hunt with the hounds.

'He may be a son of a bitch, but at least he's our son of a bitch' has long been the cynical US defence of its moral and financial support for criminal despots in contravention of its high-flown rhetoric in favour of fundamental freedoms and universal human rights.

This policy of appeasement or support of any regime that can be paid or pressured to fall in line with its perceived economic, ideological and military interests has cost the US enormous quantities of popular credibility and clout, not to mention squillions of dollars and the lives of countless military and civilian casualties.

Its support for banana republics and fascist military dictatorships in South America and the Caribbean has enabled, if not caused, untold human misery for more than a century.

The Vietnam war, in which several successive US administrations backed a corrupt and brutal Saigon-based regime in a conflict that caused massive destruction, claimed millions of lives and triggered the rise of the murderous Khmer Rouge in Cambodia, was an unmitigated, self-inflicted disaster.

But it was apparently by no means a learning experience, as then came US support for first the obscene regime of the Shah during the Iranian people's revolution, then for both sides in the bloody Iran-Iraq war, resulting in the deadly enmity of today's Iran and a campaign that's still being fought to rid Iraq of the legacy of former US 'son of a bitch' Saddam Hussein.

Admittedly the US occasionally appears to back its democratic and humanitarian words with less self-serving deeds, as when it was dragged, albeit kicking and screaming, into leading Nato in ridding the Balkans of Milosovic.

More often, when its geopolitical or economic concerns aren't directly at stake, it abandons helpless people to their fate, as perhaps most notoriously in the Rwandan genocide.

But it can't resist meddling in the muddle of the Middle East, as oil, the Suez Canal and its client-state Israel are all at stake. Thus it is in the ridiculous position of further bankrupting itself in the fight to bring freedom and democracy to Iraq and Afghanistan, while supporting autocracies and dictatorships in Egypt, Jordan and Saudi Arabia, and tolerating other equally undesirable regimes in Algeria, Libya Syria and elsewhere.

Year of 'robbit'

The kind of creature the US promotes, permits and protects despite its avowed support for the rights and freedoms of the common people in the region is dramatically illustrated by the opposition voiced by Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah to the popular uprising in Egypt.

“No Arab or Muslim can tolerate any meddling in the security and stability of Arab and Muslim Egypt by those who infiltrated the people in the name of freedom of expression, exploiting it to inject their destructive hatred,” he ranted.

In other words, as far as his majesty and his henchmen are concerned it is a case of security, stability and business as usual, and to hell with the people and their freedoms.

US Secretary of State Hilary Clinton and other Western government spokespersons admittedly haven't been quite so people-unfriendly. But like the US president, who seemingly hasn't yet decided whether to play the situation as Barack or Mubarak Obama, most seemed to come down not on the side not of the people, but of the status quo, or “stability”.

Happily for those of us who truly believe in government of the people, for the people and by the people, however, the rabbits in Tunisia and Egypt have pushed open the stable door, and the proverbial horse has bolted. And the rabbits are showing similar signs of restlessness in countries including Algeria, Jordan and Yemen.

With most of the world's governments and media rabbiting on about these momentous events, it is interesting to observe that they've received little if any official mention in Malaysia. 

In fact, as eager as it customarily is to ape pretty well anything Arabic, and to venture an opinion on any issue relating to Islam, Malaysia's BN regime has been as quiet as a mouse.

Some might put the BN government's suspicious silence down to domestic preoccupations like buying the recent by-election in Tenang and trying to deal with its latest crop of financial and homicidal scandals.

But of course the true reason for ignoring the achievements of people power in the Arab world or anywhere else is that it is mortally terrified of a similar outbreak of anti-regime rage at home.

As I and many others have mentioned before, the Tunisian people's hatred of Zine el-Abidine Ben Ali, his wife and cronies is eerily similar to the loathing of many Malaysians for Najib Abdul Razak and his consort, colleagues and cronies.

So, far from commenting on the Arab cause on one side or the other, Najib has taken himself and his entourage off to Dubai, ostensibly in quest of investment capital.

This leaves his deputy, Muhyiddin Yassin (right), in charge of election investment, and his Home Minister Hishammuddin Hussein to keep up the pressure on opposition leader Anwar Ibrahim by accusing him of being funded by terrorist-linked Saudi Arabians.

All of which suggests to me that, as far as the BN regime is concerned, this is not such much the Year of the Rabbit as, according to its custom, just another year of the robbit.

Or, in recognition of its practice of bribing elected opposition members to hop frog-fashion into the BN ranks, yet another year of the ribbit.

But hey, here's wishing you a happy and healthy one anyway.

Keep on running...

Hey, who is that in centre with yellow vest?

Forget all the forced national integration attempts (gimmicks) by the government agencies to foster (force) national integration. The way to national unity is via sports! This revelation, I discovered  during the last run in Putrajaya Twilight Challenge on 29th January 2011, which Suresh and I partook. It was actually a LSD - a runners' lingo for 'long slow distance' where runners take slow runs to cover the distance they wish to cover, mostly as preparation for imminent races. No, it is nothing to do with Lysergic Acid Diethylamide, LSD, the 1960s illicit party drug and nothing to do with Lucy in the Sky of Diamonds. Of course, the post-run endorphine surge that gives an euphoric high feeling does not count, but this is of course legal!
The Challenge was organised on a small scale amidst the time when the whole nation was in the CNY celebratory mood to cater for those die-hard runners who had nothing else better to do. It attracted many categories of participants - novice, hard core and lunatics. Lunatics?
The track for the run was a 11.3km road track starting in front of the Palace of Justice all the way to the Putrajaya International Convention Centre (PICC), back, to the Putra Mosque and back. The novice mostly did 11km while the lunatics registered for the gruelling Ultra-Marathon of 88km run. They started at 7pm and had until 6am to finish it!
The low-key run (technically it was not a race) was organised predominantly via cyber-technology. The list of participants and the distance they registered to run were sent by e-mail. The bib was written by hand on site. Runners were told that the certificates of participation would be sent by PDF files for them to record their own times which they could determine from the giant digital clock exhibited at the finishing line!
Proceeds from the run went to aid orang asli children with their education.
Coming back to national integration and muhibbah.... The atmosphere was a happy and cordial one. Before and after the run, everyone was in high spirits and picking up a conversation amongst each other. As the event progressed, everyone was looking out for each other, giving friendly reminders (watch out for that car!), giving words of encouragement (going good brader!), thumbs up and others.
As the enrolment was small, it became lonely sometimes. Under the blanket of the night, at one point, I almost lost my way! Anyway, Suresh (my partner in crime) and yours truly completed it in one piece. Suresh completed his maiden 22km race in 2h15m (I think) but not without blisters on his feet and bleeding under his toe nail! My timing was 2h25m. We went home happy gleaming with our finisher's medal.
A long evening but still managed to attend a birthday party later that evening!

The King's Speech

A simple period drama (set circa 1936 -1939) with minimal of the now often seen pyrotechnics and special effects wizardry commonly associated with Hollywood blockbusters. Anyway it is a British production. It basically illustrates the inferiority complex of the Prince Albert, his poor relationship with his elder brother, Prince Edward who abdicated his throne to marry the twice divorced (who is portrayed in an extremely bad light - cunning, manipulative and possible links with Nazis!), his stammer, his morbid fear of public speaking, his tutorship and friendship of a unqualified Australian unorthodox speech therapist and his success in delivering the all important radio broadcast speech to the British Empire when war with Germany is declared. Overall, it is a good movie with excellent good old fashion acting unlike the newer movies which have no qualms about exposing flesh at the drop of a hat!