Showing posts with label mores. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mores. Show all posts

Wednesday, 22 November 2023

Finding wisdom where others find pleasure!

Sila ay Akin (They are Mine, Tagalog; 2023)
Director: McArthur C. Alejandre

Amongst the members of the lowest heap of the pecking order, it is said that the community self-regulates itself. These guidelines, called social mores or morality, are allegedly laid down to steer the community to a virtuous way of living. This would appease the Gods as it is the correct thing to do. Its payback can be experienced in the afterlife or the next birth.

Paradoxically, the masters' perceptions of good and evil are different. In the eyes of the slaves, their aim in life was to usurp as much wealth as possible and immerse themselves in hedonistic activities.


The slaves scorn their master's attitude towards acquiring wealth and their aissez-faire outlook to morality but justify their own fastidiousness as a decree from the divine forces.

The unabashed desire for wealth is ostracised as greed. To yearn for the sumptuous spread of delicacies is labelled gluttony, and unsanctioned wanting of sexual pleasures without societal approval is termed sin. The fear of God is imposed upon them to toe the line. Curiously, these laws do not apply to the master class. It is said that because of this, the master class can thumb down their slaves to stay in power and assert dominance.

What we realise is that the social norms that the slave community imposed upon themselves are potentially self-defeating. It stifles their personal development but ensures that the masters have a constant labour force supply. Slaves remain slaves.

So, if the social mores are removed from the equation, would the society prosper? Perhaps not.


In a way, this film asks the same question. The film could draw audiences more for its explicit nature rather than the theme and storyline; yours truly tries to find wisdom where others find pleasure. t is the curse of the profession.

The setting is in the slumps of Manila. A son, JC, returns home to his widowed mother's home. JC is returning after years of being away. This time, he returns after getting into trouble with a gang in Baguio. JC has a girlfriend of three years with him. At home, the mother lives with her first son, Pao, and his wife. She had adopted a mute girl, a rape victim whom she picked up from the streets.


The theme around the household is about earning money. The aged mother is a street vendor, and the adopted girl helps her. The elder brother is a male exotic dancer and moonshines as a gigolo by the side. His wife used to be an exotic dancer but stopped after coming into the family. JC is slowly inducted into the same profession. Money is trickling in. Everyone is happy.

The apparent thing around the household is their lax attitude towards morality surrounding sex. The mother curtained off a small part of the bedroom for JC and his girlfriend to sleep together, knowing very well they are not married. The family is okay with the job everyone is doing. When Pao's rich client, a boyfriend, promises him a free pass to the USA in lieu of employment and residence there, everybody is happy.


So with all the restrictions against wealth acquisition and sexual freedom lifted off the agenda, everything should be hunky dory, right? Perhaps not, as is subsequently seen as the story goes. Anger, violence, and the desire to dominate and control ensure the member stays put. Like crabs in a pail, each will pull the other down to ensure it is status quo for everyone. The loser will be content to get stuck in the slime and censure the occasional budding sprout from escaping the muck.

Can money really be the panacea to solving all problems? In the immediate future, it could be. Only when one reaches his destination and lets a sigh of relief would he realise that life is no park in the walk. Something would saunter in the name of the black dog, waiting to pounce upon the generation next! We are advised to stick to routines and follow religiously proscribed guidelines or cookbook recipes. We need the occasional outlier to push mankind to a higher level.


Friday, 11 September 2020

What is the definition of 'normal'?


Paromitar Ek Din ( A day of Paromitar, Bengali; 2000)
Direction: Aparna Sen



Society has defined what is normal and what is not. It has decided social mores on how to behave and what is appropriate. It has set arbitrary levels of what is expected of a family. It determines how it should be portrayed to the world. It is all a facade, a smokescreen, the foundation that is laid on unfinished brickwork to give a final smooth concealing the imperfections beneath. 

The community expects a family to be of certain expectations and to behave in a specific manner to be one of them. Human beings, being social animals, clamour to belong to a group of certain similarities that they go to great extents to showcase what the rest accepts as normality. 

So, despite being trapped in a loveless marriage, we are expected to labour it through, hoping that love will conquer it all. We want to be proud of offspring, immerse in their joys and growing old, aspiring to have brought them up as perfect adults for the generation next. Despite the social etiquette, we sometimes find connections in people of the opposite sex whom we are not supposed to be intimate. We sometimes bond with people who are no longer related by society-sanctioned unions or blood or because of circumstance. Maybe because of unexplainable celestial attachments, we still find platonic relationships with the very people tabooed by society. Life is a maze with all its intricacies and no perfect answers. We make our solutions as we go on.

The story of Paromitar is unveiled as she attends her mother-in-law's (or rather her ex-husband's mother) funeral. Paromitar is now remarried and is currently pregnant with her second child. She entered the house seven years previously as a young bride. Her life turned murky after she delivered a child who was diagnosed to have cerebral palsy. Caring for the handicapped child proved too stressful for Paromitar and her husband. Their relationship grew apart. The mother-in-law also had an empty marriage. Together, they found commonality in each other and develop a strong bond. They discovered that both of them have left a joyful life in their 'previous lives' to fulfil their roles as spouses. The child dies, and Paromitar meets another man and leaves her husband.

Also in the background is the mother-in-law's old flame who showed up at the doorstep ever so regularly to chat. We soon discover that the meeting was not merely platonic.

After Paromitar's departure, the mother-in-law becomes sick, needing constant care. Breaking all conventions, Paromitar had returned to the household to care for her before her death.

Aberrations from the norm are common in families. Even though we would like the ocean of life to be smooth, we occasionally encounter high waves and inclement weather. That, in essence, is the meaning of life - to deal with the problems and the unexpected tragedy that are hurled upon us periodically. That is normal. Every family has its own quirks and skeletons up in their closets.





Please remove the veil of ignorance!