Showing posts with label hallucination. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hallucination. Show all posts

Wednesday, 8 February 2023

They can see clearly now that the rain is gone!

I am a jealous guy and a confused one at that. Jealous after my two recent observations and conversations with two seemingly mature men who seem so cocksure about everything happening in their lives. I am confused because I am still groping in the dark, trying to make sense of this chance of a lifetime handed to me - to live my life.

Specimen #1 is an octogenarian, a well-established academician whose mind is still as sharp as a man half his age. To top it up, he is still at it - supervising research papers and reading the latest in his field of interest. Naturally, I have a lot of admiration for his stature, his intellect and age. I tease some gems of wisdom from his experience for my consumption.

I was surprised when he attributed all his achievements to the Divine Powers. There was nothing that he did that was his. I asked him definitely he would reach crossroads and would have floundered or perplexed, not knowing which direction to go. It was about these moments that I was interested. Those moments where he was in a betwixt and between that a crucial decision had to be made, I wanted to desperately know how he made those decisions. Again, his answer was simple. He guides me; I do not make any decisions.

I knew he had a giant murthi erected in his prayer room. And he spent a good few hours sitting, praying, meditating and physically talking to the deity. I have been informed that He talks back.

Specimen #2 is another professional who went through a rough patch early in his life. That event left an indelible mark on him. Still, he has come out of it and found peace, so he says. Striking a conversation by chance, he narrated his life lessons. He found solace in solitaire, the company of himself. People are mostly sending negative vibes; stay away. Easily said, I thought. Whether he likes it or not, a professional has to rub paths with people with different dispositions in the scope of his work. Part of his challenges is to ward off these negativities and be professional. Somehow, my twisted mind, at that juncture, I visualised an image of an ostrich burying his head under the sand, refusing to appreciate the dangerous things around him.


My friend advocated activating the body's chakras and awake the kundalini to attain perfect health, which he had achieved. And he was willing to be my guru to pass that knowledge to me.

Being the eternal sceptic I am, I just took these as conversations one has with a fellow train passenger. Come to each other's destination, all the talks and advice given to each other are forgotten as each finds themselves back in the churn of life.

Meanwhile, I remain confused. But happy that, at least, these two specimens do not have to search. The mission in life is crystal clear. They can see clearly now that the rain is gone. Some would classify them as enlightened and have found the reason for their being. Sadly, it would be enough for a man of proof and science. In their interpretation, they are having hallucinations, the grandeur of reference or probably detached from reality!

Thursday, 4 August 2022

Which is real and unreal?

Bliss (2021)
Director: Mike Cahill

This is one of the movies that one will either love or hate; get it, or it just passes by! I thought it was good. It helps the rest of the population not be affected by the complexities of a confused mind. 

Quite often than that, to the lucky ones unaffected by the hardship of modern living, it is sometimes how certain decisions should be made. And we cannot understand why the mentally ill repeatedly make wrong life decisions. They plunge continually into states of helplessness and hopelessness. 

Greg (Owen Wilson) is a staff in a call centre-like office. Even though his superior keeps calling him to the office, Greg is immersed in his own pencil drawing of his dream holiday villa. We gather that he is divorced. Even though everybody else is huffing and puffing, busy answering calls, Greg is in bliss, adding details to his drawing. 

When Greg finally meets his boss, he is shocked to find out he has been fired. Greg shoves his boss aside, and in a freak accident, the boss hits his head and dies. That is, everything became a blur. Greg finds his life going into a tailspin. He is confused. He does not know what is real, what is drug-induced, and what is hallucination. Who is that mysterious lady who keeps appearing and disappearing with yet another concoction to try? Why is the Universe keeps changing? At one moment, they are homeless and hunted like dogs in one instance and, in another, feted as great scientists.

To the uninitiated, this whole exercise is too confusing. If we scrutinise keenly, this entire imbroglio of severe mental illness could be akin to one floating around in a dream. Just like we become the leading player in our dreams and tend to do invincible outlandish feats, the sufferer is convinced that he writes the script of his role. There are no rules there; no holds barred. The trouble is that the audience and co-players do not share the same script. Hence, the clash.

Mental illness causes distortions of the mind. And the modalities to treat the sickness also bring in the same distortion to the mind, sometimes worse, bringing in disastrous outcomes. Sometimes, it makes us wonder. Is the illness worse, or is the treatment worse?

“Be afraid. Be very afraid.”*