RIFLE RANGE BOY: Burying the hatchet? Don't leave the handle sticking out!

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Many times, people have told me to take it easy. They ask, what is the use of all these negativities? Life is short; you already have one foot in the grave and are living the second half of it. How long will you hold onto the grudge? Make the first move, bury your pride and hatchet, and break the ice. Forgive and forget, they say. Before you know it, you'll be laughing like old friends again. Be the bigger man! Now, how often have you heard that? My question is, why do I always have to make the first move? Don't all these thoughts also cross the other person's mind? Why doesn't he make the first move? These are not just idle musings but essential questions about human relationships and society.

Making the right decision is not a walk in the park. Life often presents us with conflicting lessons, making the journey to forgiveness and forgetting a tough one.

'Turn the other cheek, one says. But yet, another says, 'Snap the hand before it swings a second time.' The pacifist would say, 'Bear injury, bear insult; that is the highest form of merit.' 'You don't have to do anything; karma is a bitch. You don't have to wait till the next birth. Sometimes, you will live to see the payback!' An eye for an eye will only leave the world blind. Amma would throw a spanner into the works if that was not enough. The person who knocks you on your head is a fool, and the person who does not retaliate is a bigger fool.

So, do we 'forgive and forget', 'go for an eye for an eye', 'forgive but don't forget', or be unforgiving, stating that forgiving is the work of the Divine? We are mere mortals.

Historical conflicts continue to cast a long shadow over the present. Each year, Japan commemorates its fallen WW2 heroes, a solemn event that reignites China's grievances over the 1939 Rape of Nanking. The demand for an apology remains unmet, perpetuating the cycle of resentment and unresolved issues.

Conversely, the Japanese did not take offence at the American unnecessary dropping of atomic bombs, which caused indescribable devastation to Japanese lives. Instead of rebelling against the oppressors, they tried to emulate the victors—dressing like them, playing baseball, and prospering as they did. The same applies to Vietnam and the American soldiers waking up to the smell of napalm; the Vietnamese still see the USA as a cash cow and long for their tourists' dollars.

The Middle East has experienced ongoing turmoil since the 8th century. Every faction involved in the conflict has an undeniable claim to the lands they fight over. They are even willing to risk their lives for their cause. Like one of the false mothers in King Solomon's court who would rather have the baby cut in two than see its well-being compromised, they allow their treasured land to become a wasteland. Sharing and mutual prosperity are not priorities for them. They should be. In their culture, someone who shares bread is considered a brother or sister. Or is it merely poetic language to comfort the ears?

As our medical services continue to improve rapidly over the years, we anticipate that medical procedures will become increasingly routine. The low rates of morbidity and mortality associated with surgeries persuade us that such issues only occur elsewhere. However, when things do go wrong, what is everyone supposed to do? Medical practitioners may become defensive when patients sign informed consent. The patient might claim ignorance of the risks involved in the procedure, and lawyers would be sharpening their knives. With zero tolerance for adverse outcomes and Murphy's Law lurking in every situation, who gets to forgive and who can forget?

The media, acting as the Fourth Estate, helps check and balance. Call it overzealous or satisfying the nation's 'need to know'; the public is often flooded with gory information. Justice must be seen to have been carried out and done swiftly. Unnecessary trials by the media have caused many unnecessary heartaches and led to false accusations against innocent people. Even when their innocence is clear, the press does not care; it just moves on with the next gory story. The bereaved can go heal themselves.

Losing a life is bad enough. It is worse when the person hasn't lived a full life. Murders, fatal accidents, suicides driven by bullying, and rape-murders often attract media attention today. This obsession with crime and murder has increased so much that many content creators earn a living analysing these crimes. Interestingly, some of these podcasts go beyond the gory details and sensationalism. In a world where the courts are stretched to their limit to seek justice—or is it vengeance?—to give the heaviest sentences to the accused, there are cases where dependents and relatives of victims go as far as forgiving the murderers. Does punishing wrongdoers truly help victims 'rest in peace' or attain moksha?

Forget about all those major crimes. Let us focus on relationships close to us. More than once, our loved ones and best friends have wronged us. They may view it as a white lie or even a bad decision due to misjudgment. Humans make mistakes, sometimes influenced by desires or complex emotions. How often have we thought we've been deceived? So often, we tell ourselves, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." Life decisions are not easy. They are linked with societal norms and personal convictions.

Forgetting and forgiving are easier said than done. It is not easy for us to snap out of something. We want to remember, as it is our defence mechanism, to prevent a similar heart-wrenching event from happening again. Still, forgetting helps us heal and reintegrate into life. Sincere apologies are a great way to start the healing process. In modern life, according to our legal experts, apologies are considered an admission of guilt. They say that in times of crisis, one should not speak to avoid incriminating oneself. Forgiveness is crucial for emotional health and moving forward. The balance between forgetting and forgiving leads to healthier interactions and personal growth.