RIFLE RANGE BOY: To the Land of Smiles!

Epic Ride 2025 - Cross Border

Now that cyclists in Malaysia (and Singapore) are labelled 'bad boys', as shown by the many disparaging comments from netizens, the only sensible option is to take our cycling elsewhere. Just as everything in life, this too shall pass. It all started when a group of cyclists riding side by side on a highway was honked at by a bus driver. Taking it personally, the cyclists stopped the bus afterwards and gave the driver a piece of their mind. The confrontation was recorded by someone and quickly went viral on social media. To be fair, it is cycling 101 to ride in a single file.

The real reason why netizens are up in arms against the cyclist is class envy. From its humble beginnings as an affordable means of transportation for the economically disadvantaged, the bicycle has evolved into a symbol of luxury and style. Nowadays, one of these niche machines may cost more than an average motorcycle. At a time when everyone needs to tighten their belts, the sight of these bourgeoisie flaunting their babies during the weekend, when the Joe Plumber has to work extra time to bring home the bacon, may appear like the most cruel thing possible.

To rub salt into the wound during the pandemic, when human contact was outlawed, cycling was the only recreational sport allowed; no running, hiking, swimming, or even travelling in the same car with one's own spouse. Cyclists could continue.

Starting point

Perlis, the northernmost state on the Peninsula, welcomes everyone this year. It is their 'visit Perlis year', hoping to generate income for the state, squeezed between two giants, Kedah, with its Langkawi, and Thailand. Langkawi has its duty-free status, while Thailand has, well, everything else in between. So Perlis ushered in everybody with open arms.

The 'Epic Ride- Cross Border' was celebrating its 10th anniversary. It included many repeat offenders in its entourage this time around. Many returned for this excellent organisation and its 'happy-go-lucky' attitude towards problems, as well as its approach with a pleasant smile.

The participants congregated on Friday evening, July 18, at Tok Mek Restaurant, Beseri, in Perlis, for a briefing and fellowship over traditional Northern Malay dishes, including ulam, belacan, tom yam, and rice. After mapping out the instructions, everyone was good to go the next morning. All in all, 52 cyclists took to their saddles, including four German riders, many Singaporeans and a couple of Indonesians.

Although the rest of the country viewed cyclists as a nuisance, here they were treated with respect. The State even had the Deputy Chief Minister flag off the cyclist quite early the following morning. That too, just because the Chief Minister was away in the capital. If not, he would have done it himself.

Day 1 - Beseri to Hat Yai via Wang Kelian

A light breakfast of nasi lemak, the favourite Malaysian breakfast meal, and everyone was good to go. The stuporous post-prandial intoxication disappeared suddenly just about an hour after heading towards the Wang Kelian immigration checkpoint. A continuous, steep 2.3 km climb with an ascent of about 12% in some portions awaited us. This stretch saw hardcore cyclists being sifted away from the novices. Many got down from their machines to push their way up. That was the only challenging climb throughout the two-day ride. The others were mere rolling hills.

Grind, grind, grind...

The descent after the first climb was equally challenging, with steep, sharp declines and perilously sharp bends, adding considerable strain to brakes, tyres, and the rider's tenacity. Soon afterwards, we reached the immigration checkpoint. Crossing the border was a breeze with minimal fanfare - just show your passport, look into the camera without your glasses and helmet, and you are off Scot-free. No inspection of vehicles or no digital traveller card was requested.

We were already about 30km into the journey by then. The rest of the journey was more mental than anything else. The Sun was already slowly rearing its ugly head, and the roads were quite bare, with no shady scenic trees lining the roads. Cyclist had to keep a careful eye on their fluid balance and their caloric intake. The first proper water station only appeared at the 55 km mark at Ban Thung Nui. The coconut water that the 'Thailand Tourism Authority' sponsored lived up to its divine status conferred in many tropical countries. It was truly God sent. Hey, even the Tourism Board of Thailand was excited to see us and have us as their guests. Not our own netizens, how sad.

One aspect that warrants special mention is the state of Thailand's roads. The quality of Thai roads is definitely better planned and constructed from better materials, or at least a proper proportion, leaving nothing to be desired in terms of cutting corners. The WhatsApp University taught me that to make good roads, contractors have to ensure the base of the roads is completely flattened by a street roller, leaving no holes or stones, as these would be niduses for future cracks on the road and later potholes. Another thing is that the makers must use an adequate amount of tar that glues all the components of the road in place. Sadly, Malaysia, which once boasted of having the best roads in the world, can now just cry, living in the memory of the legacy that the British had left, as they have royally screwed it up in the name of race politics.

Pit Stop

In some stretches, there was hardly any activity on the road. At the back of their minds, cyclists wondered if they had taken a wrong turning somewhere. Luckily, the occasional yellow-red arrow sign that the organisers put up popped up regularly to give some assurance that they were on course.

The second water station was located at the 80 km mark, near Ban Na Luek. Again, it was a mind game. Pedalling like an automaton, under the heat of the scorching Sun along pencil-straight linear roads, was a matter of mind controlling the somatic functions.

Finally, after 5 hours and 53 minutes, the first cyclist reached the finishing point at Sakura Budget Hotel, Hat Yai, where the cyclists would spend the night to unwind and rejuvenate their weary limbs, gathering enough energy for their return trip the following day. We had cycled a total of approximately 130 km and 660m of elevation.

Day 2 - Hat Yai to Beseri via Padang Besar

Rise and Shine. The Thais, as gracious hosts, had tables full of breakfast options, from fried rice to bread and Thai cakes. The only thing stopping the cyclists from overindulging was the thought of cycling back to base, with memories of the previous day still fresh in everyone's minds. At about 8:30 a.m., even the Deputy Mayor of Hat Yai was excited to see us and bid us farewell. Wait, was he happy to see us leave?

The return leg was gentler. The terrain was flatter, with an elevation of 423m, covering over 88 km. The cyclists were invited to grace their presence at two pit stops. At the 20km mark, the water station at Tha Pho of Sadao was the place to savour some Thai mangosteens and local traditional delicacies. All of this was enjoyed while taking in the lake view from Sanan Lan Thong Grand Resort under the auspices of the Thailand Tourism Board once again. After a short break, we were flagged off again, and following a photo session, we were escorted by police to the main road, continuing our journey to a small town called Prik.

At Prik, Southern Thailand

The Chairman of the Prik town council was very excited to see us. The small town has an 80% Muslim population and lives peacefully alongside others, within the framework of the Thai constitution. The Chairman wanted us to act as ambassadors for better relations between the two countries, as I gathered from his Thai-Malay-accented speech, and was proud to show us the grand town administrative office, affectionately called 'The White House' because of its regal appearance and resemblance to the real one. After another photo shoot with the Chairman and his jing bang, we were ready to leave.

The weather had been mild throughout the day, almost until we approached the check post at Padang Besar. As if Thailand were sad to see us go, the Thai skies wept buckets of rain. Again, immigration was a breeze. The final stretch within Perlis, sadly, was not. Like a bridge too far, the finish line was nowhere to be seen. Everyone constantly compares any small country to the size of Perlis. Even that minuscule piece of land is not so small, we soon realised. Almost 20 kilometres after crossing the border, we arrived at Tok Mek Restaurant, where everything had begun a day earlier. That marked the end of a fruitful expedition to the Land of Smiles, where cyclists were warmly welcomed.