What were they even thinking of?!

Lately, many have asked, 'What was he/she/they thinking? ' I do not believe they are expecting an answer from me. Perhaps they expect me to nod, quietly agree or squeak out some filler words like hmm..., not to react, disagree or object.

"What was he thinking? He had such a nice family, wife and beautiful kids. And gave up all that for a young chick?"

"He had everything going here. But that was not good enough. He had to sell off everything and root himself in a foreign land. Look at him now. What was he thinking?"

"In school, my best friend gave me a bar of soap. A bar of soap! Can you imagine? What was she even thinking of? ...that I stink?" 

It is not our business to judge others. We are only in a position to tell if we walk a mile in their shoes. Everything they do must have been debated internally with some soul-searching and introspection before making decisions. All the dos and don'ts must have been viewed from all angles, especially when it involves life-changing choices. Sometimes it is a calculated gamble. Other times, it may be desperation or the threat of the unknown. 

One must remember the decisions made at the heights of hormonal deluge in the spring of youth when the affairs of the heart supersede rational thinking. The ability to rationally weigh the pros and cons gets lost in emotion. Not to forget that as life becomes more bogged down by the strains of modern life, a clear mind is becoming an increasingly rare commodity. Decisions made by a deranged mind, assaulted by birth traumas, childhood traumas, genetic aberrations or pharmaceutical alterations also impair rational decision-making. 

Many resort to religions or gatekeepers of religions to make life-altering decisions, assuming that the path most travelled will be devoid of thorns and pebbles. How about invoking the powers of seers and the spirits of the dead? They could guide us. And astrology and the gravitational forces of celestial bodies that control our moods and fate…?

Now, with so many variables, I wonder if many of our actions are mere reflexes that bypass the higher centres. We work on impulses, outsource them to others or follow the crowd. Or maybe they already have something good going for them. They had assessed everything and had a ready plan going for them. Our assessments do not mean anything to them.

But then, one cannot help but question what they were thinking of when people aged 60-something, 70 or even 90 who live on borrowed time with one foot on the grave are hellbent on disturbing the peace. Rather than leaving a mark on the right side of history, they insist on the destructive and divisive way. They justify their action by quoting sacred texts and traditions and wanting to continue the struggles of their ancestors who did not know much. Undoubtedly, the present generation must be wiser. 

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