Acceptance, not expectations!

Tokyo Story (1953)
Director: Yasujiro Osu
The Tamil cinema have made tonnes movies with this theme - about the lack of filial piety, the melodramatic depiction of how old parents heartlessly get sidelined by kids or kids-in-law. Well, Tokyo Story also dwells into the same topic but puts in a subtle, neutral and a quiet way without the hullabaloo. And it made its way to BFI's all time best made movie list after 'Citizen Kane' and 'Vertigo'. The feature that makes it different from most family drama is that it is made in a very calm way mimicking the gestures of the Japanese culture with a lot of bows and gentility.

An old couple decide to make a trip down to Tokyo to see their children. The couple have 5 kids, 3 boys and 2 girls - a doctor, a salon owner, a soldier who is presumed deceased as he never returned after the war, a tradesman and an unmarried teacher who is living with them.

In Tokyo, they visit the doctor, the salon owner and the widow of the soldier. They soon realise that their children are too caught up with their own work schedule to be entertaining them. Their daughter-law, however, went beyond her call of duty to care for them. Soon after their home, the wife of the couple dies. This time, the kids make a trip for the final rites.

Even though, the story was written more than half a century ago, it still resonates into our family dynamics even today. The elders doing certain ordained duties as how they are expected to do a smooth passage of their offspring into adulthood expecting reciprocal care when it is their time of need. Unfortunately, changes in social dynamics and structure makes it impossible for the same trend to continue. The various economic commitments and the need to meet their own family demands makes life not so black and white. Histrionic demand for attention would not solve this inconvenience but on the contrary only sour relationships, creating dissatisfaction and sorrow. As the couple in this film did, the next best option is that to believe that they had done their best in raising their own kids given the circumstance and be happy with the outcome calmly. Of course, all these would be easier if your partner-in-crime, your partner in life, be with you in your twilight years.

...or perhaps, with a few good friends with your same mental illness!

P.S. Dedicated to Yuko who safely pushed out her progeny, Kanta! After the many heart wrenching moments... Konnichiwa!