Back in early 90s, whilst I was still a green horned newbie at the art of healing, I was approached by a lady who despite her outwardly ultra conservative appearance of being dressed in a hijab, looked straight in the eye and asked whether there was any way that her 3-month fetus could be screened for Down Syndrome.
From her dressing, it did not require a rocket scientist to guess her views on prenatal screening and termination of pregnancy.
After a protracted discussion, I discovered that her previous child was a Downs and needed multiple surgeries for heart septal defects and Hirschsprung's disease even before he was one. Seeing the puny one cut open and pricked repeatedly was just simply too much for her to stomach. And the monthly follow up the Capital City just drained here physically and financially. Even before she could recover from the trauma of having a special child, in rolls in another pregnancy (through an act of Man and The Divine Powers) in came the ensuing uncertainties. Rather than seeing history repeating itself, she was willing to undergo whatever test even a termination of pregnancy if warranted than to deliver a Down Syndrome baby despite her religious conviction and country laws because she had first-hand experience of a special child.
It is easy to judge others using our life experience as a yardstick of how everybody else should live. When a similar malady strikes us, all the rules and regulations, which in normal times would be fought by tooth and nail to be upheld, just goes out of the window!
This reminded me of a Lat cartoon published in the local dailies at a time when moral policing was the flavour of the month (it still is). It was a caricature of an elderly husband-wife couple in their 70s. The husband was reading aloud about the banning of Muslim girls in beauty pageants. The wife replied that it was improper to expose too much in public. To this, the husband responded, "I wonder who the 1947 Miss Ratu Ronggeng was? And the wife bowed her head in embarrassment!
It goes on to say that we make rules and regulations for others to follow but when we are the affected party, somehow the bar is lowered or the goal post is shifted!
From her dressing, it did not require a rocket scientist to guess her views on prenatal screening and termination of pregnancy.
After a protracted discussion, I discovered that her previous child was a Downs and needed multiple surgeries for heart septal defects and Hirschsprung's disease even before he was one. Seeing the puny one cut open and pricked repeatedly was just simply too much for her to stomach. And the monthly follow up the Capital City just drained here physically and financially. Even before she could recover from the trauma of having a special child, in rolls in another pregnancy (through an act of Man and The Divine Powers) in came the ensuing uncertainties. Rather than seeing history repeating itself, she was willing to undergo whatever test even a termination of pregnancy if warranted than to deliver a Down Syndrome baby despite her religious conviction and country laws because she had first-hand experience of a special child.It is easy to judge others using our life experience as a yardstick of how everybody else should live. When a similar malady strikes us, all the rules and regulations, which in normal times would be fought by tooth and nail to be upheld, just goes out of the window!
This reminded me of a Lat cartoon published in the local dailies at a time when moral policing was the flavour of the month (it still is). It was a caricature of an elderly husband-wife couple in their 70s. The husband was reading aloud about the banning of Muslim girls in beauty pageants. The wife replied that it was improper to expose too much in public. To this, the husband responded, "I wonder who the 1947 Miss Ratu Ronggeng was? And the wife bowed her head in embarrassment!
It goes on to say that we make rules and regulations for others to follow but when we are the affected party, somehow the bar is lowered or the goal post is shifted!
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