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A Wedding Speech

My years ago, being a patriarchal community, Indian parents have to cough out a fat dowry to marry off the their daughters. They (daughters) became a bane for many families. Female children were considered a burden as they did not have the earning power and was good enough a reason for female infanticide. With the opening of educational opportunities, Indian ladies have a wider earning and thinking capability. Even though the dowry system have long been abolished, I think it stays subtly unspoken in the community. Nowadays, the dowry money is channelled to a lavish wedding bash (ala Monsoon Wedding). Recently, a close friend's daughter wedded in a truly glamorous fashion with a dinner fit for the king and entertainment as well decoration to match. Always being the fall guy, what started as drafting a speech, I was arm-twisted to give a speech for the bride's side! Here a sample of it...

Good Evening,
Ladies and Gentlemen,
I have been given the dirty job of telling some little secrets about Malini so that Dave would know what he is getting into. Some of these vital information may be extremely useful for Deva when her next birthday comes.
Malini came out with a bang on 23rd March many years ago. Just like her brother, her father, Mr Guna, had planned to have her delivered in Butterworth… but Malini just could not wait. She wanted to be a city girl! Mrs Guna, Veni, went into early labour in Kuala Lipis and had to be transferred to Kuala Lumpur for safe delivery. Everything went on well and we are here all laughing about it now.

As a child, Malini was a quiet girl but she used to hate travelling. Every where she went, a plastic bag was her company retching all the way from Kuala Lipis to Butterworth. So, Deva, next time you consider travelling with her anywhere, consider flying. Anyway, now everyone can fly (with wings), but may be not for long.
Some more hints for Deva, if you think of buying chocolates for Valentine, forget it. She is not really sweet toothed and is not one who goes for the sweet stuff. Hence, do not expect her to make Nei Orundeh for next Deepavali. Also do not think getting teddy bears or anything furry with feathers – she hates them. There is one thing that she goes gaga over is shoes. In your new house, make sure you have a big shoe cabinet. She may also take over your side of the cabinet and even Imelda Marcos or Datin Seri Rosmah a run for their money.
Have a happy and blessed life as husband and wife.
Let me share some interesting quotations for both you to ponder,

· Marriage should be a duet, when one sings, the other claps,
· The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds – they mature slowly!
· But: When a man opens a car door for his wife, it is either it is a new car or a new wife.

And do you know that Apple Computers have come out with a new product and it is not i-pod 3, it is called i-pay! That is what Dave would saying when Malini goes on a shoe buying spree!
Good night.

Comments

  1. I know you hate attending wedding but now you have to make speech in weddings!

    Interesting speech and hope the groom had no second thoughts on that day.

    ReplyDelete
  2. He also spent too much. Now trapped!

    ReplyDelete

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