Holy crap

A sprinkle of Cicada poop, anyone?

A few days ago, our newspapers were aghast with news of a petai tree in Kepala Batas showering its surroundings with droplets of water. People from near and far flocked to see for themselves and taste the miraculous act of Nature. For several days, people from various walks of life expressed their devout opinions about this new, unknown phenomenon which newspapers call 'holy water'.

A former lecturer reiterated that it could be bodily secretions from mating cicadas, while another entomologist claimed that these insects do not eject fluids from their bodies, at least not in such large quantities. Being entrepreneurial in their own way, some traders decided to make a profit by charging RM5 per cup. For all you know, they might be selling piped water!

Some people have tied a 'holy' red cloth to give the tree due recognition, to please the unknown and impart a divine feel that it needs. Punters predict that 'Tua Pek Kong' (holy spirit) has arrived nearby and is predicting good fortune soon. Hopefully, He will also provide them with some lucky winning '4D' numbers on the side.

Meanwhile, the Islamic authorities have joined the bandwagon almost as a knee-jerk reaction to warn Muslims that believing in holy water is 'unholy' (syirik). The Consumer Association of Penang, after warning people against various practices (from beancurd to belacan to ultrasound scans, etc.), also cautioned about the risk of leptospirosis from consuming urine from unknown animals. A letter to the editor received an interesting input from his Indonesian domestic helper, whose villagers back home had seen many similar instances. Her scientific reasoning was that this was how a tree expelled excess water from its system. Her villagers took it as a sign that the area was suitable for digging a well. To disprove the maid's theory, the writer challenged the authorities to dig a well!

Milk Miracle of September 21, 1995.

This reminds me of how holy ash used to materialise from a certain sage's photograph's feet for a brief period, only for the fad to die out as quickly as it began. In fact, I had the rare opportunity to witness this miracle at my sister's residence. Even a few years earlier, in 1995, the world was astounded by the milk-drinking antics of Lord Ganesha's statue. The astonishing part was that this happened simultaneously worldwide with stone idols of Lord Ganesha, and like clockwork, it all ceased suddenly at the same time.

Some scientists explained this occurrence as being due to capillary action within the granite composition of the idol, since it did not happen with plastic or other crystal idols. However, they could not explain why all these incidents suddenly ceased without recurring.

Vibhuti Miracle

Interestingly, exactly 14 years after the milk-drinking episode, there was another milk-vomit episode, which alarmed many, as they feared they had upset or short-changed the Lord in their dealings or during His birthday celebrations (Vinayakar Chaturthi). Like the unexplainable events happening around us, these incidents will soon be recorded in our history as things beyond the understanding of our simple minds. Perhaps a clever paranoid individual might stir up theories about conspiracy, alien visits, or even American biological warfare—just like the 2004 Boxing Day tsunami. Think about it... The chemical analysis of the floral secretions should be available in about two weeks. In the meantime, let the newspapers come up with something bizarre for us to ponder.