The pain equally painful!

Rain Town (Cantonese, English; 2024)
Director: Tunku Mona Riza 

Our needs, dreams, ambitions, and desires to ensure the best for our children and peace in the family are universal. We all yearn for the same thing. 

The most exciting thing about the movie is that it was produced and directed by two Malaysian Malays, but there was a single inkling of Malayness in its setting, spoken dialogue and props. It went on to premiere at the Silk Road International Film Festival in Fuzhou, China. 

Set in the wettest town in Malaysia, Taiping, hence the title Rain Town, it is a favourite pastime for the local retirees to bet on whether it would rain that day. It follows one of the betters, a proud Mr Choo, to his home. He is a disciplinarian, a domineering figure who runs his home like an army regiment. 

He is a father of 3 adult kids, two men and a lady. His wife, a former Ms Taiping, an Anglo-Chinese, had fitted into the family as a docile, all-embracing mother who is the stabilising figure snugged nicely between the silently rebelling children and the all-knowing father. Mr Choo scared the daughter’s suitor away because he was ill-qualified. The girl finds solace in baking cookies and selling them. The elder son is doing his medical internship and struggling to cope with a vocation that his father forced him into. His real love, however, is music. He resorts to recreational drugs to keep on going. The second son has not really settled on what he wants to do in life, but Mr Choo does not hesitate to tell him the obvious. In Mr Choo’s vocabulary, life is a race and the fast wins.

In the midst of all these, Mrs Choo is diagnosed with breast cancer. She keeps it away from the family and tries to handle it herself. Meanwhile, the elder son is expelled from work for stealing drugs. The family has to get together, put aside their differences and solve the problems at hand.

It does not matter who directs the movie or who acts in it. Cultural misappropriation may not be relevant at all. The dynamics of a family can be observed. The pain felt, the frustrations endured, the struggles fought, and the dreams shattered feel pretty equally devastating.

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What Do People want?

 

From Berita MMA, September 2024.

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Simple living is virtous?

Perfect Days (Japanese, 2023)
Director: Wim Wenders

(Please note: It is plural, not singular. Every day is a perfect day, and there are many!)

This is a reminder to recreational cyclists over 60: Just enjoy every opportunity that comes your way. By the twist of fate or alms from karma, you can go out, pedal, and feel the wind whisk by as you zoom downhill. Only some people are gifted with the privilege to do this. There is no need to outdo a fellow cyclist, go all out for a personal record, or invest in a state-of-the-art, spanking-new machine to keep up with the Joneses. Every completed cycling route happens on a perfect day. There will be many perfect days.

This beautifully crafted film gets all my thumbs up. It moves very slowly with apparently no definite direction, but that, in essence, that is the message behind the movie. We should find happiness in the things around us. 

The protagonist, Hirayama, is a creature of routine. He gets up to the rhythmic pace of a street sweeper sweeping the street. From that, it is like clockwork. Folding his mattress neatly, washing up, trimming his moustache, slipping into his overalls, and getting his keys organised, he exits his door. He looks out gleefully at the morning sky. Next is coffee from the vending machine, and gets into his working van. In the truck, he listens to songs that suit his mood on a cassette player! He is a proud, dedicated worker who cleans public toilets. 

Even though he realises that he is viewed with condescension, he knows his job is essential and does it diligently. 

His lunchtime routine is also set. Armed with a packet of drinks and a sandwich, he sits on the same park bench every day, observing people and seeing the ray of light dancing through the shadows of the leaf (Komorebi*). He snaps moments he finds something fascinating on his analogue automatic camera (with physical films!). His mobile phone is also an analogue. He is content without learning to take digital photos or using apps like Spotify. He sneers at them and is pleasantly surprised that his cassette can fetch much money if sold. He is happy having his daily bath at the public bath and eating from the same stall at the food court. Once in a while, he would visit a lady who runs her small restaurant and sometimes sings for her customers.

A few things happen in his mundane life. His niece, his sister's daughter, runs away from her wealthy home for a few days. Hirayama's sister turns up, and we learn about his animosity or disagreement with his ailing father. The lady restaurant, whom Hirayama secretly fancies, is seen caught in a passionate embrace with an unknown man.  

He threads everything in a stride and never fails to catch up by reading classic short stories and essays before he retires for the night, including Shakespeare and Faulkner. 

Our minds like to wander. Probably because of that, a regimental style of life is prescribed to live right. We are told to live simply. Unfortunately, it does not work at a collective level. If everyone maintains an Epicurean form of living, being content with the bare minimum and not venturing beyond his comfort zone or, like Sissyphus, accepting his fate as someone who needs to find happiness within his endless rolling up the boulder and it rolling back, the human race would still be dwelling in caves! 'Now is now' and 'next time is next time', as Hiroyama advocates, give peace of mind to an individual, not protect the community from adversities. 4.5/5.

* Komorebi is a Japanese word that means the play of sunlight through leaves. 

** Hirayama's excellent cassette collection includes Lou Reed, the Kinks, Otis Redding, Velvet Underground, the Rolling Stones, and more

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Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death. Arthur Schopenhauer.

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Father of the bride's headache!

Good evening. A warm welcome to everyone here. A special welcome to Raphael and Maggie. Selamat datang to the rest and Marc’s family and friends. I guess Marc’s family and friends are no longer Marc’s alone. They are ours, too. Accept our humble salutations. 

In the Indian tradition, more often than not, they want their firstborn to be a male. Back in the 90s, when Divya was born, friends would give unsolicited advice. “It’s ok. The next one will definitely be a boy.” - as if we asked for an opinion, as if they knew, as if we cared. Then Tania was born, and they again gave a sigh. 

And again, as if we asked. Rinse and repeat. That is until Keshav and Danny rolled along.

30 years on, I can stand proud and say they have done well in their own right. 

Many years ago, my friend was getting married. As the main event was over, he saw his father-in-law give a sigh of relief, caressing his chest. He was heard telling his friend, “Ahh, my big headache is over!”  

My friend only understood what he meant 10 years after being married to his father-in-law’s headache. 

We would like to believe it’s our loss and Marc’s gain… of a headache. 

Marc and Divya, jokes aside, you are stepping into a new phase of life. We all just want to wish both of you clear skies and sunny days ahead. There will be rainy days ahead, but don’t fret about it; try singing and dancing in the rain instead. From what I see in Indian movies,
it must be fun. 

Good luck in your future endeavours. 

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Be ordinary?

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck (Documentary, 2023)

Director: Nathan Price

Based on the book of the same name by Mark Manson (2016)

I have seen this book staring with sad eyes at me numerous times, pleading to be picked up. I always gave it a pass. Firstly, with profanity flashed on its cover, I thought the target readers must be Gen-Ys or millennials. They may find a reason to seek a book on self-help or, perhaps, perfect the art of not giving a damn about anything or whatever. I, on the other hand, was beyond help.

When a trailer bearing the same title appeared on Netflix, curiosity got the better of me.

After going through the documentary, I find that the content is more profound than its low-brow title. There is much philosophy to learn, as narrated from the life and times of the author, Mark Manson, by himself. 

He started his teenage years on the wrong footing. Caught with drugs in his locker, he got into the wrong side of the law. His parents divorced afterwards. He drifted through his late teenage years and early adulthood in a daze, experiencing the death of a close friend and unfaithful girlfriend. Somewhere along the way, he received a sort of epiphany that made him question the purpose of life. That soul-searching gave birth to the book and, now, the documentary.

What I gathered from this presentation is this: The modern society feels that the purpose of life is to experience happiness. It constantly tries to avoid pain and anything that stirs the psyche and raises anxiety. Pain and tragedy are bad words that must be avoided at all costs. Through his personal life experiences, the author posits that pain and tragedy are the necessary evils that strengthen us. We become resilient to whatever curveballs that life throws. Like what Nietzsche said,  probably parroting Vedanta's teachings, events in life are cyclical. Things get better and turn for a dip every so often.

The current Western teaching where happiness is the be-all and end-all of everything, we end up feeling entitled. We demand nothing else but to be satisfied. We want to be in control all the time.

The author thinks that a nihilistic outlook on life leads to more contentment. We should realise that we do not control anything. Everything is beyond our control. We should be humble enough to know we are mortal, just waiting to die. Being cocksure about something may lead to our downfall, exemplified by the example of  Lt. Hiroo Onoda, the last Japanese WW2 soldier to leave the Philippines in 1974. He spent a good 29 years in the jungle, convinced that Japan was still at war. Despite numerous attempts at bringing him back, he was confident that the whole exercise was fake news. What a waste of fruitful years of life?

Be ordinary; that is what he is saying.

You are nobody. You are not unique, which contradicts what the psychological community and management gurus say. The modern world tells each of us that we are entitled, and the rest can just go to hell. The 'me' as the centre of reference disappoints us when things do not go our way because, in our mind, we are special.

Many may not agree with his rhetoric. People need to think outside the box. Society needs mad people who can push the boundaries and would not stop at any extent to prove their point; civilisation needs them.

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Can't change everything!

About Time

Director: Richard Curtis

You start life telling yourselves you must try to make everything perfect. You think and overthink where anything can go wrong anywhere and make precautionary changes. Still, there will be some black swan events beyond your control that you must overcome. What would you think at the end of it all, at the end of days, that you would have it any better? 

What if you have a special gift where you can time travel? Would your life then be perfect, with the ability to travel back and forth to twit events and prevent mishaps when deemed fit?

A millionaire who has made millions would dispense unsolicited advice that earning money is not everything. He will say that one has to enjoy life with all its spills and thrills, not go after money at all costs. Of course, all these make no sense to a struggling youngster working hard to make something out of his life. In the youngster's mind, he needs the blessings of the Monkey God, not life lessons. 

The same thing applies to time travel, I suppose. At one look, it looks like something to die for. But then, everything loses its glamour. Suddenly one realises the uncertainty of life is the one that makes life worth living. Nothing can happen in isolation and has a corresponding spillover effect. As we learn more about time travel, we realise it has many caveats. 

This romcom is a light viewing, not for sci-fi enthusiasts familiar with the intricacies of going back and forth in time. A 21-year-old is told the males in the family can time travel. Initially taking it as a prank, he uses it to correct certain awkward moments and later major family mishaps. During one of his travels, he discovers that it is restricted to a family member's birth as the randomness of the gametes of conception may alter the baby altogether, including its gender. Not all life events have a single moment at their inception. It takes a lifetime to materialise. Often it is multifactorial, for example, the aetiology of a fatal event.

Life is a funny thing. Things can work in your favour or against you. You are not in the driving seat. 35 years ago today, I reported for work. What would I have done then that would have landed me in a better situation than I am today? Or would the alternative have been worse? The version I have today may have been the version of what I could my life to be. Like someone told me, life is like the branches of a tree. If an ant were to start from the tree's stem, it is pure luck that, after taking so many turns at the crossroad of tree branches, it reaches the tree's juiciest fruit. 

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Everything cancels out in the end!

The 4th Beatle? Paul is dead? 🐕

A successful Bollywood star was once interviewed for a podcast. The star had apparently struggled to climb the ladder of success without any connections or dynastic lineage to boost. He delved deep into his humble beginnings as he cosied up to the interviewer. Soon the whole conversation became up, close and personal. The Tinseltown star started reminiscing the times he grew up pathetically poor.

The family lived on the poorer side of town. Five family members, parents and three siblings squeezed into a tiny bedroom. A slight cough, hiccup or even sigh would alert the others to inquire whether things are alright. Besides pacifying each other, they would prepare some kind of concoction. Whether the home remedy worked or not, the love shared obviously did the trick. They were closely knit.

Jackie Shroff

Lady luck dropped in, and stars sparked brightly. With fame and fortune came a big mansion. Each family member had a private bedroom and attached fittings. The star was happy to 'pay' back to the family for standing by him through thick and thin. 

As cyclical as life is, life had its unexpected turn of events. Early one morning, the mother was found dead. Later, she had a massive coronary event the night before and succumbed to her condition.

The star then became philosophical. If only they had stayed together like before, when they were poor, one would have looked out for the other. The mother would have been rushed to the nearest medical facility, and appropriate treatment would have been instituted. 

But then, life is more complex. With minimal savings or medical insurance, expensive cardiac interventions remain a piped dream. With affluence, morbid conditions may be detected earlier and treated accordingly. To what extent should one give up the joy of living to worry incessantly with fear of dying? As Murphy's Law dictates, anything that can go wrong will go wrong if it is meant to. And Sigmund Freud chided Carl Jung for proposing something like 'Synchronicity'.

When we were young, we yearned for that plate of fat-laden juicy mutton varuval; we just could not afford it. Now, when possible, our cholesterol levels give a disapproving head shake. As the Tamil proverb goes, 'When there is a dog (and you need a stone), there are no stones; when you have stones, there is no dog in sight!'

Like the Epicureans, we have to rejoice in our wheat and water. And the Stoics, King Rama being the great example, troubles will pop up in torrents; we should face them valiantly and do the right thing to the best of our ability. 

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