Only you can save yourself!

The Whale (2022)
Director: Darren Aronofsky

We all carry on our lives, deluding ourselves that we can save others. We are convinced we can cajole the divine forces into changing the universe's trajectory to accommodate our easy passage. We think we can indeed influence others to engineer their own future path. We naively believe our hard work certainly will make them fight their inner demons and move towards the right direction. As if we, ourselves, are so cocksure of the right road to happiness as if we have traversed them before. And our current journey is akin to a trip 'Back to the Future'!

Using the allegory of the 1851 classic 'Moby Dick' by Hermann Melville or alternatively titled 'The Whale' in which the main character, Captain Abad, is fixated on hunting down an albino whale, the story tells us how we fill up our lives with so many unnecessary things that bring most minor benefits. The whaling ship's Captain is hellbent on avenging a whale that crippled him, forgetting his real purpose of going to sea, for whaling and making a profit.

The author of the book went on tangential writing about all the various places, people and species of animals that the Captain failed to appreciate, blinded by his emotion. Are these the real reason for our existence? To learn and enjoy all the beauty and experiences around us that completes us?

This highly emotionally charged movie tells the story of a morbidly Charlie who left his alcoholic wife and his 8-year-old daughter to start life anew with his newfound sexuality and a student boyfriend. The boyfriend is a preacher's son whose father vehemently opposed the unholy union. Unable to handle the pressures from his preacher and the retribution of the wrath of God as depicted in the Bible, he becomes depressed, anorexic and finally takes his own life. Charlie, on the other hand, indulged in binge eating after the loss. He becomes a recluse and becoming a morbidly obese individual. Charlie is seriously ill with congestive cardiac failure at the verandah of death but refuses any treatment. He wants to save his money to pass it to his daughter.

The mainstay of the story involves his ex-wife, who pays a visit to discuss their uncontrollable daughter, who is not doing well in school and Charlie trying to reconcile with his daughter. The other two characters are his boyfriend's sister, a nurse, who is the only person he is in touch with daily and a part-time evangelist who tries to convert him.  

The clear take-home message is that nobody can save another person in trouble. Getting out of trouble is the onus of the affected party alone. He has to realise his predicament, get his posterior out of his chair and wriggle himself out of his mess. There is no shortcut. People react differently to the same stress (like anorexia and binge eating, as in this film). No one solution fits all.

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A wounded mother

The Mirror Crack'd (1980)

Director: Guy Hamilton

Gene Tierney was acclaimed for her great beauty in Hollywood. She was also nominated for the Academy Award for Best Actress in 1944 and even had a brief affair with JFK before he had political ambitions. After a performance at a World War 2 fundraiser event, she was kissed by a fan convalescing from rubella. Unbeknownst to her, she was in her early stage of pregnancy. She went on to deliver a baby with multiple birth defects due to congenital rubella syndrome. Gene Tierney spent the rest of her life emotionally disturbed caring for her baby. When Agatha Christie read about the actress in 1962, her creative juices must have worked overtime to imagine the feelings of a grieving mother.

Gene Tierney

Of course, there cannot be Agatha Christie's whodunnit with no murders. 

Ms Marple, in 1953, is residing in a small village in the English countryside. A film crew comes to the village to do some shooting. In midst of all the excitement, the villagers also witness a couple of murders. Ms Marple, with the help of her 'favourite' nephew from Scotland Yard, gets to the bottom of it all.

The movie saw the appearance of many stalwarts of yesteryears in the twilight of their careers. It saw Rock Hudson, Elizabeth Taylor, Tony Curtis and Kim Novak. Angela Lansbury was there as Ms Marple. Lansbury's career was, of course, still flying high, and she went on to complete 12 seasons of 'Murder, She wrote' from 1984 to 1996.

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Which is real and unreal?

Bliss (2021)

Director: Mike Cahill

This is one of the movies that one will either love or hate; get it, or it just passes by! I thought it was good. It helps the rest of the population not be affected by the complexities of a confused mind. 

Quite often than that, to the lucky ones unaffected by the hardship of modern living, it is sometimes how certain decisions should be made. And we cannot understand why the mentally ill repeatedly make wrong life decisions. They plunge continually into states of helplessness and hopelessness. 

Greg (Owen Wilson) is a staff in a call centre-like office. Even though his superior keeps calling him to the office, Greg is immersed in his own pencil drawing of his dream holiday villa. We gather that he is divorced. Even though everybody else is huffing and puffing, busy answering calls, Greg is in bliss, adding details to his drawing. 

When Greg finally meets his boss, he is shocked to find out he has been fired. Greg shoves his boss aside, and in a freak accident, the boss hits his head and dies. That is, everything became a blur. Greg finds his life going into a tailspin. He is confused. He does not know what is real, what is drug-induced, and what is hallucination. Who is that mysterious lady who keeps appearing and disappearing with yet another concoction to try? Why is the Universe keeps changing? At one moment, they are homeless and hunted like dogs in one instance and, in another, feted as great scientists.

To the uninitiated, this whole exercise is too confusing. If we scrutinise keenly, this entire imbroglio of severe mental illness could be akin to one floating around in a dream. Just like we become the leading player in our dreams and tend to do invincible outlandish feats, the sufferer is convinced that he writes the script of his role. There are no rules there; no holds barred. The trouble is that the audience and co-players do not share the same script. Hence, the clash.

Mental illness causes distortions of the mind. And the modalities to treat the sickness also bring in the same distortion to the mind, sometimes worse, bringing in disastrous outcomes. Sometimes, it makes us wonder. Is the illness worse, or is the treatment worse?

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Man proposes, but God disposes.

Of Mice and Men (novella, film, play)

Author: John Steinbeck (1937)

Films: 1939,1992

This John Steinback's post-depression novel is still being used in schools on both sides of the Atlantic. Why use an old book when there are so many new ones with less objectionable dialogues and situations? I think that is precisely why such a book with depressing, flawed characters and bullying as themes be used for students. As days go on, society wants to sanitise everything for our growing minds. Everything needs to be politically correct, and social justice must be seen to be done at all levels. Imagine one school in the UK collectively agreed that opening a door for a handicapped person is actually toxic behaviour. By doing so, we are emphasising to the handicapped person that he is needy. Furthermore, with critical race theory permeating every level of our interaction with a fellow human being, we need to drill upon our young minds that it is perfectly alright for others to be different from us. And that they should be accepted as a fellow inhabitant of this vast planet.

The real world is ugly and is not fair to everyone. Bad things happen to good people, and sometimes bad people get good stuff at the expense of the good. Just deal with it. Like John Steinbeck's other story, which found movie release, this story is also set in the post-depression era where migrants from other states go to another searching for a job. These interstate immigrants are scorned upon and treated less of human.

It starts with two men taking a breather at a creek after a long walk, after alighting from their bus some 10 miles earlier. These men are to begin as helping hand in a barn, harvesting and loading barley onto carriages. There is George, the street-smart one and his mentally challenged but physically endowed friend, Lennie. George is Lennie's guardian after his aunt died.

Lennie's behaviour is unpredictable. He has a fascination for things that are cute, small and smooth. The trouble is that Lennie cannot control his hands. He had once killed a mouse as he is too harsh with it. At their last sojourn, George and Lennie were almost lynched when Lennie caressed a lady's exquisite red dress so passionately that the lady thought he was going to rape her.

Lennie is repeatedly reminded to behave and not get into trouble again, but it is easier said than done as he is forgetful and relatively slow in comprehending things. Finally, George promises him that they would one day buy a farm and rear chickens and rabbits with enough money.

1992 version
Gary Senise and John Malkovish

The new working place is a farm where workers harvest barley. Curley is the owner's son, a pint-sized boxer with a Napoleonic complex who tries to throw his weight around. Lennie is his easy target. Then, there is Curley's wife, a flirtatious lady with showbiz ambitions. All the farmworkers try to keep away from her. Finally, Candy is an elderly worker with one hand who offers to contribute to join George and Lennie to buy their dream farm.

The climax of the story is when Curley's wife flirts with Lennie. Earlier, Lennie had accidentally killed a pup that was gifted to him. In their conversation, Lennie, being the clumsy person he is, accidentally breaks her neck. Curley, upon discovering his dead wife, puts up a search party to hunt Lennie down.

George finds Lennie in their secret hiding place and guns him down himself. End.

The little novel is a treasure trove for students of literature in discussing various characters, the qualities, their social standings or lack of, their mental state and injustices in the society. This is how life is. There are people at the top of the food chain who pounce on those below to keep themselves in charge. There is a schism within the community based upon a person's external attributes. There is a constant struggle for each other to get better than the other. Life on Earth is no utopia. It is the survival of the fittest.

Another angle often not discussed is about living with a person whose mental faculty is challenged. It is not easy. Mental illness comes in various forms, either acquired congenitally or with the stresses of life. Either way, the caretakers go through a lot to deal with the recurring unending demands of the afflicted party. The caretakers go through a myriad of emotions themselves, trying to put things for the person with mental illness to fit into society. But, the community does not make integration easy either. They are quick to judge, heckle and provoke the weak. It masks their own inadequacies. The mental challenged will only be left with their primal defences to protect themselves. This form of defence, unfortunately, is not acceptable to society. This further spins the caretaker into turmoil, sometimes resorting to uncivil actions, putting an end to the victim's miseries.

The title 'Of Mice and Men' is an extraction from Robert Burns' 1785 poem, which was written in Scot-language. He wrote,

The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men

Gang aft agley,

An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,

For promis'd joy!

(The best-laid schemes of mice and men

Go oft awry,

And leave us nothing but grief and pain,

For promised joy!)

Man proposes, but God disposes.

(Thanks to MEV for recommending)

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Choices and Confusions

Fleabag (Comedy, Miniseries, 2016 -2019)
Created, Directed and Starred: Phoebe Waller-Bridge

Fleabag is a dark comedy about a 30-something single lady who is trying to make it her life mission to fall in love and settle down. But it is not easy. In the background are the memories of her business partner who committed suicide (or is it an accident?), her high achieving neurotic sister, her alcoholic brother-in-law, her widowed father who is sort of arm-twisted to remarry with a conniving and eccentric painter and the plethora of suitors who are equally clueless about their purpose in life.

Society has evolved over the generations to educate the fairer sex to give an equal place in the sun. Sometimes we wonder if this empowerment makes things more difficult for them to decide what is best for them. Entitlement, not wanting to be shortchanged in their choices of life partners, brings them to the brink of insanity. The options are too many, and nothing satisfies them any more. So why bother with the formalities when the sweet nectar of the fruit can be savoured without purchasing?

People are so lost on the purpose of life that they meander aimlessly oblivious of their intentions, just looking around for the unattainable using pleasure as their yardstick to success. That is why generations before us thought that it would be prudent to invest in the cookbook of life, which would make it easy for the unthinking Man to manoeuvre the boat of life. 

Long ago, chastity was given a sacred status. It was protected with the women's life until a responsible suitor is found. It, however, also subjugated women to submission to laws of society.

A better understanding of human biology and equality to both sexes turned the table. Sex is no longer looked upon as a mysterious divine gift but a mere social contact, much like a handshake or a bear hug. Women, now in better financial conditions, able to stand independently, sometimes in better bargaining positions, hold the chips and call the shots. They are in a position to pick and choose their partners and decide when they wish to be a gravid container for continuity of their progeny. Can this be the right way to do things? 

Making decisions listening to the heart and using happiness as a gauge had never been found to be the right way.

Masam Masam Manis (1965)

The main character regularly breaks the fourth wall (the imaginary wall that separates the actors and the audience) to explain her decision to the audience and in a way to get approval to her mischiefs. It reminded me of 'Garry Shandling Show' and P Ramlee in 'Masam-Masam Manis'. Interestingly, in this show, the Catholic priest who is the protagonist's love interest realises her interactions through the fourth wall. It is as though the pastor has the ability to look into another dimension- much like how the miracles and acts of divinity happen in another plane.

(thanks SK for introduction and input)

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Everyone carries their baggage!

After Life (2019)

Created, Directed, Acted: Ricky Gervais

You think you had it bad. You think nobody gives two hoots. You, only you had the realisation to come out of the rut to shine. Then everything clamps down on you. You realise nobody owes you a living, but you also say that no one gives a damn. God is dead. He was never there to start with, and humanity is gone too. There is no such thing as altruism, and everyone is in it for self-gain. Money is the be it all!

You drag your feet in this journey called life wearing a perpetual frown and exuding a tone so melancholic that a bean would fail to sprout. You see that there is no purpose in anything. Ending everything is easy. Then you realise it is not so easy after all. The mind is saying 'go', but the body is saying 'to hell with it all'. You chicken out.

For the first time, you look around. In the eyes of those around you see the weary worries of concern. You sense real compassion even in the most inanimate of things. You appreciate that many are in the same boat as you. Just that they bury their sorrows within, not whining or immersed in self-pity. Some indulge in self-destructive behaviours. Others manifest peculiar habits.

You cannot go around under the impression only your problem matters. You think you do not have nice shoes to wear when the person next to you has no legs, and he is not complaining. Everybody around us has his own narrative, and theirs can be equally if not more depressing.

A dark British comedy, starring Rick Jervais of 'The Office' fame, of a disillusioned widower who carries on life with baggage of self-absorbed sadness and demanding the world to wail with him. He relives in the memory of his perfect short marriage with his full spirited, fun-loving wife. She lost her battle with breast cancer. The constant reminders of that union are the video of her recordings and their canine companion. Then there is his Alzheimer stricken father cooped in the retirement centre. For these alone, he finds the reason to live.

https://asok22.wixsite.com/real-lesson 

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Just when you thought it a perfect day!

A Big Little Murder (Documentary; 2019)
Channel News Asia

You think you have everything under control. You work hard to provide for the family, give what you missed out, and have their future all carved out, nice and smooth. You want to open up opportunities for your little ones and smother them with love and gifts. One perfect day you are swimming in bliss, and the next day, without any forewarning, you are stuck in a cesspool of melancholia.

8th September 2017 was just another day for a 7-year-old boy from a middle-class family in Gurugram (Gurgaon), a highly industrial township near Delhi. Within minutes of dropping him at the entrance to the private international school that he goes to, the parents get a call informing of him being hurt. 

Long story short. The 7-year-old boy, a chubby and lovable @Prince, was brutally killed in the school washroom with his throat slit by a kitchen knife. A frenzy ensues, with all parents getting upset that such an event should happen in a reputable school. Wild accusations come flying all around - that he was sexually abused, that he had seen some unsavoury conduct of teachers, etcetera. Public pressure mounts, and the Police, with nothing much to work with, come up with a suspect by evening. The school bus conductor was seen giving TV confessions.

Pretty soon, people come to their senses. A review of CCTV footage and logical deductions prove that the conductor could not have done the crime. CBI (Central Bureau of Investigation) was summoned to assist. Things take a turn after this. A senior in the school, a 16-year-old boy, referred to as 'Bholu' (innocent), becomes the prime suspect. Psychological assessment of this boy reveals that he may be a victim of bullying, body shaming and inability to fit with his peers. Despite what his learned parents (father is a lawyer) think, their obedient, keyboard-playing son may be suffering from depression.

The slow cogwheel of the law is still churning slowly to rectify certain technicalities before 'Bholu' can be charged. Because of the heinous nature of the crime, he may be charged as an adult.

The Victim / Accused 

I thought this documentary was presented in a very precise manner. The sequence of events is narrated nicely with the aid of computer graphics and aerial shots of the location. Purists may grumble that the channel is guilty of trial by media. Interviews from the victim's and the accused's parents are juxtaposed to illustrate that both sides of the argument may hold water. A disconcerting film that leaves a persistent unease feeling. 

No matter how much you think your blind spots are covered, the black dog is just waiting to pounce unannounced, even on a seemingly perfect day. Is the human race cursed? You think you have conquered one, then you realise that you have another and another.

https://asok22.wixsite.com/real-lesson 

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Inked in water?

The old memories resurface as you rummage through the old photos that you find stashed away in the old boxes. As though releasing a trapped genie from the proverbial Arabian lamp, the memories, all good and evil, swish their way out into your consciousness. Like falling dry leaves from a mango tree during a windy tropical storm, the shrivelled, long-forgotten thoughts of yesteryears come spiralling down, alive and so vivid.

Gazing the innocent face minus the scars of her battled life, you remember the child you once knew. Eager to confront the world and fight a good fight to win her wars, she embraced life with so much vigour. Albeit the miseries and the difficulties that thrashed her down, she stood her ground. She turned her under-achievement into stepping stones to reach higher grounds. She succeeded in her own baby steps, gradually.

You thought she would make it. And that she was almost there! You blink, and pop went the bubble! The innocent child had now metamorphosed into a reckless wreck. She had built a wall and found her comfort zone in her cocoon than to fight the world. She had become tired. She had thrown in the towel after holding on her own for so long. Well-meaning advice from well-intended relatives have just gone down the drain. Like a rabid dog, every stimulus provokes an exaggerated response with her shields up to face the barrage.

Laugh at others' miseries?

Flowers (BBC4; 2016)

Everyone starts life with so much of vigour and hope. They have certain expectations in life. They may have many aspirations and dreams that they may want of their family, their love ones and their offsprings. The dreams may just be sandcastles in the air, wishful thinking or a desire to satisfy their own unfilled dreams.

The problem is everyone has their own ideas how these ambitions should be attained. And they make their wishes known. They also want others to follow the path that they feel is a sure way to success. The problem is there are many ways to Rome, and everyone has their pace at taking the journey, Some rush from point A to point B with blinkers; other smell the fresh air and enjoy the bloom! Herein arise the problem. The inability to keep us with each others' expectations draw parties farther and farther apart. To somehow maintain the divine sanctity of the family unit, people go to great lengths to prevent it from crumbling even at the expense of losing their own sanity!

Only the British have the wit to make a joke of something as dark as a dysfunctional family. This dark comedy tells the tale of a famous children story writer who is feeling suicidal. In fact, his attempt at the noose proved unsuccessful when the rope snapped. Unfortunately, his demented mother witnessed the event from her window and tried the stunt herself. Clumsy as she was, it did not succeed as planned but she succumbed to her injuries later. To complicate matters, his music teacher wife's young student may be accusing him of what appeared like an inappropriate behaviour. His twin kids are at loggerheads all the time. The son despises his father and his sister whom he thinks are weird. This is compounded when the sister is caught by him to be intimate with another girl. The son himself is a social awkward. The wife is putting up a happy face trying to cover up all the unhappiness around the family. To add chaos to the mayhem is the writer's helper, his illustrator, a quirky Japanese character who himself is carrying an enormous baggage over his shoulder. Then there is an eccentric neighbour, a plastic surgeon, who has the hots for the writer's wife. So, is the builder. The plastic surgeon's 'daughter' is close to the daughter. In the midst of all these confusions, the screenwriter still manages to create humour! Marvelous.

The evil that lurks in you.

Antichrist (2009)
Screenplay, Director: Lars Von Tiers

One is quick to find a punching back, a casual link to all our maladies. They hurl brickbats at others, nature, animals, bad times and bad omen as a reason of their predicaments. If nothing can be definitely pinpointed, genetics and nurturing take the beating. The actual evil of the world, according to this film, is none of the above but is buried deep within all of us. Yes, the animalistic, raw, unbridled desires in us are the culprits! We can blame all the evil that happens to us upon ourselves, not our parents or our siblings.

This somehow graphic and gory presentation takes us through the journey of a psychotherapist and his wife. The wife is grieved by the death of her toddler. The child fell to her death whilst she and her husband were engaged in a passionate act of love making. The guilt of neglect and joy at an emotional moment dragged her into depression. The medications do not seem to be working; it only leaves her drugged and lethargic with no light at the end of the tunnel.

That is when the psychotherapist husband (Willem Dafoe) takes the matter into his own hands. He made the cardinal mistake of treating his own kin, his wife (Charlotte Gainsbourg, a regular in many Von Tiers' movies). Their journey leads to dangerous areas of the human psyche, the woods, their summer cabin and a gory rollercoaster of violence and killing using Christian symbolisms in its background. It is the first of Von Tier's 'Depression Trilogy'.

Not quite the movie for weak hearted and those who wish to see no evil!

P/S., Are we all wired up to feel guilty of our actions? We are conditioned to do certain things in life. We are told that that is the right thing to do. It may also be the only way to do. Hence, when we deviate from our self-defined boundaries of goodness and the outcome of the occurrence plays against our liking, we make ourselves feel guilty. This surmounted heap of unfilled 'sin' creeps deep into our psyche and pushes the body to the dark side. Interestingly, the crow which is denigrated in the Christian myths to signify evil of the mind is venerated in many other cultures including the Red Indians, Celtic, Germanic and Hindu folks for its sharp-mindedness, ability to foresee the future and its role as an intermediary to the netherworld! 

Live life as you deem fit?

Nymphomaniac Vol 1 and 2 (2013)
Director, Screenplay: Lars Von Tier

Humans demand that it is their birthright to demand their pleasures. It is one's fundamental necessity to live a fulfilled life where it is filled with various pleasures. After all, they say, you only live once. You are only given the opportunity to live once. You are supposed to live to the fullest. You should go the whole 9 yards to make it a reality. And you blame all your future failures and underachievement to these unfulfillments. Somehow, it seems legitimate to holds others responsible for your existence accountable to your follies. The fault is anybody's except yours.

On the other end, another group would argue that life on earth is torture. Our time here is an opportunity to serve and gain merit points for an eternal afterlife. They live by preset rules, suppressing their innate desires that they perceive every temptation as a test of virtue from the dark side to commit sin.

This 5-hour presentation by an eccentric director is a graphic representation of a life of a sex addict. It is told in the form of a narration by a battered lady who was rescued at an alley by a recluse mmiddle-agedsexually shy intellect. As she gains strength, with a hot cup od milked tea, she tells her life story. Both of them try to analyse her actions as she narrates the nitty gritty deatils of her childhood, adolescence, sexual escapades and the collapse of her life. The intellect attempts to analyse her actions and inactions from a philosophical and anthropomorphical angles whilst she tries to justify hers.

This film forms part of the director's famed 'Depression trilogy'; the other two being 'Melancholia' and 'Antichrist'.

Is ignorance bliss?

Secret Sunshine (Korean; 2007)
Director Lee Chang-dong

Life is not easy. The inner desire for everyone is to be in control of things, especially of his own. This more so in the modern era where our way of thinking has been stimulated by philosophers and thinkers before us have told us to ask why, what, when and how? Gone are the days when subjects are just are going to take whatever told by the master wholesome without batting an eyelid. It must have been to convince someone that He was the Son of God, or He was the product of an Immaculate Conception and a virgin birth. Try doing it now!

There is something about this Korean director, Lee Chang-dong, that I find fascinating. His stories are seamlessly mostly outdoors and scenic view of the countryside. The actors also appear like everyday people like in a neorealist setup.

The film starts with Lee Shin-ae travelling to a small town named Miryang (means Secret Sunshine in ancient Chinese language) with her son. The car breaks down, and a mechanic helps her out. The mechanic, Kim, becomes her close friend as she settles in her new place. Shin-ae is starting life anew in Miryang, after losing her husband in a road traffic accident. Miryang is also her husband's hometown.

Shin-ae tries to mingle in with the crowd working as a piano teacher. She starts having a new set of friends through Kim. We are told slowly that Shin-ae's husband was no angel but a two-timing lover.

Just when everything was going on smoothly, mishap sets in. Her son is kidnapped and is killed after the ransom was not adequately raised. Losing two people close to her at such a short interval proved too much for her to stomach. Devasted, the initially atheist in her religiosity, she is drawn into Christianity. Religious indulgence gives her so much peace and coming to terms with her losses. There are eternal peace and contentment in her mind. She came to a stage when she even wanted to forgive the kidnapper who killed her son!

A visit to the state prison changed all these. The prisoner whom she wanted to forgive had already had his own realisation. He had embraced Christianity and felt that he is absolved of all his past sins. Shin-ye cannot accept this. It seems too easy! After all the misery that she had gone through, the murderer had it too simple.

That is when she flips. Too many questions keep springing in her mind. Life is just not fair. Even the religious movement that she was so engrossed in appears fake. The holy man is also not so holy after all. She has a nervous breakdown and is institutionalised. The ever faithful Kim is still hanging around, attending to her every need.

Is it better for us to accept things as they are rather than pondering much about the purpose of its occurrences? Should we fight tooth and nail for universal justice? Is nature just, anyway? Should we be apathetic? Sometimes ignorance is bliss. That is the curse of having a brain!

We all have our addiction!

Requiem for a dream (2000)


 At the end of the day, what do we all want? I think that is the problem. We do not know what we want and we try to fill it up with all the things as they come along trying to chase an elusive dream, the merit of which is unknown in the first place. Everybody wants happiness and freedom as their ultimate goal. Happiness that allays them of all the uncertainties of life albeit its short-lasting euphoria but the longer lasting detrimental effects. Freedom for what? They feel free but free from what? Free to do what? This conundrum that has been plaguing Man from antiquity continues do so even as he has explored many frontiers far and near.

A bored elderly widow with a addiction for game show, her son with an illicit drug addiction problem who yearns to prove himself to be a somebody, his best friend also a partner in crime and the son’s girlfriend, a daughter of a wealthy man but with psychological dependence on drugs form the basis of this movie.

Sara, the retired lady, leads an extremely boring routine of watching game show re-runs, sunning herself and chatting with her neighbours. It looks like a routine for her son Harry to monetise things in the flat for his fix. She even has to chain the TV.

One day, Sara gets excited over a spam call placing her as a possible contestant in her favourite game show. She gets all riled up as if she is already chosen. She tells her neighbours, does her hair and dream of fitting into her lovely red dress that her husband used to admire. She is a tad bit overweight, so she seeks the help of a doctor who puts her on a concoction of drugs. The medications do not show the desired effect, so she self-medicates, becomes delusional, hallucinates and is eventually hospitalised for psychosis.

Harry and his band of friends try to hit the jackpot by pushing drugs. The biggest mistake that they do is they indulge in drugs to relieve their internal pain. After a rival gang clash, the supply is cut. Money earned has to be used to post bail for Harry. Now it is back to square one, no money. The pain is more. Harry gets high on intravenous drugs. He even talks his girlfriend to sleep around to finance their addiction.

The story is told as if it corresponds to the seasons. Summer is a time when everything looks chirpy, and nothing can go wrong. The fall happens when we realise the hurdle that had hit us. Times will be bad when winter strikes. Things can only get more difficult. It is up to us whether we survive through spring.

As spring falls in the film, the characters are left in various situations, one in her own world detached from the rest, another is remorseful and hopefully would make amends, the other is still oblivious of her mistake and continues business as usual and yet another longing for yesterday!

Chemical quagmire

Opening Night (1977)

Another John Cassavetes' movie with the vivacious Gena Rowlands with yet the same topic of mental illness.

Here, Gena Rowlands appears as a prima donna stage actress, Myrtle Gordon. She can be described as immature, uncertain of her abilities and easily swayed by external factors. She is no doubt a talented actress who wants to give her best in her roles. At the same time, the current role that she is acting, about an older lady with marital problem makes her reflect on her own life. She was not getting any younger, with no partners to share her life. 

At the same time, Myrtle witnesses a fan get hit by a car just after she had signed an autograph. This tends to be her tipping point that pushes her over to a problematic quagmire. Her promiscuous relationship with her producer and failure to perform at rehearsals give quite a headache to the cast and crew.

As the dates get closer to her opening night, everyone gets hot under their collar. Everyone tries their own method to solve the problem, including the scriptwriter who invokes the help of a medium. On the opening, Myrtle turns up piss drunk.

The movie shows up brilliantly the turmoil the sufferer as well as the people around them go through. Unfortunately, there is no clear cut shortcut to go about finding a way out of this perplexing disease of neurotransmitters imbalance. 

Bitten by the black dog

A Woman Under the Influence (1974)
Written and Directed: John Cassavetes

Just recently, I was introduced to yet another great director. John Cassavetes is said to be a pioneer in indie production movies and has his own way of bringing out social issues. This particular film is quite intense an dwells with the issue of depression in a family member,  how the family dynamics influences and deals with the disease.

For the first time I see Peter Falk acts in a cast different from his usual stereotype - a cranky detective ala- Det. Colombo in a trench coat. Here he is Nick, a hot headed overworked construction worker who tries to juggle a life between his colleagues, his well knitted Italian descendent family, his three young kids and a cranky wife (Mabel, Gena Rowlands) who is breaking under the pressures of playing her role as a good mother, a good wife and running her own life.


She is an attention seeking woman who gets little attention from his busy other half. She is trying to make herself happy but crumbles. She is committed to an institution. We see in the later part of the movie of an equally bizarre parenting by Nick during her absence. Six months later, family and friends prepare to receive Mabel back home amidst the confusion and uncertainty of knowing what is best for her.
In spite of the deficiencies, the couple find common ground and continue life as a family - father, mother and kids.

An excellent flick which looks at the pains, uncertainties and frustrations that the love ones go through when someone in the family gets bitten by the black dog.

I see black dogs everywhere...

Like a line of falling domino tiles, one by one, they all fall. Yet another one fell prey to the black dog. Even the outwardly strong minded ones with barrage of ammunition to shoot you down if you were to cross their paths, go into fetal position like a helpless infant when the final straw of hay broke their back. Like an epitome of patience, like a turtle she went on her duty on earth with diligence without complaining. Then came the challenges, one, another and another and poof she went all jello.

Young and old alike, they seem to be swept by this epidermic.
Coming mostly from humble backgrounds, one would have think that after enduring the uncertainties of life for a square meal and other comforts in life, enduring uncertainties by now would literally be a walk in the park. The general consensus is that one could not buy himself out of all troubles. Crying in a BMW, however, certainly looks less pathetic then crouching over a pavement but then the hopelessness are the same. It just goes on to say that there are somethings that money can buy like crying in comfort albeit the melancholy.

Just like stupidity, everybody around the victim realises the affliction except the affected party. The sooner the party realises her predicament, the sooner remedy can be sought. Failing this, she would continue barking up the wrong tree to find another name for her bad times. Blame it on the rain, stars, sun, planets and everything in between but the space between the ears.

Winston Churchill had a black dog
his name was written on it
It followed him around from town to town
It’d bring him downtook him for a good long ride 
took him for a good look around
Reg Mombassa: Black dog

Superpower or curse?

Sometimes you feel that an elephantine memory is an asset. Remembering all those remotely insignificant events which may occasionally stir up emotions that were better buried in the crypts of time is no trait one like to possess. But then it does have its merits, however....
In a meeting of an old schoolboys' reunion, he could be the star who could rekindle old situations and pranks that would have been forgotten by all. Everybody would be happy that that suspended moment of time can be painstakingly reenacted in minute detail to savour.
In the wise words of Spidey granddad, "with great powers comes great responsibility", this God-given ablility is not all boon but a bane.
The reason the brain is wired in the way it is is to prune and rewire the thought processes so that potentially painful thoughts are kept at bay. Life and the joy of looking forward to potential good times can be enjoyed. If one to have recurring thoughts of the painful past, living can be painful and the future can appear nihilistic. With only the pleasant memories constantly bombarding you, you fail to look at the negative side of things. You leap and hope for the outcome each time. But then, did not Einstein mention that if one were to keep doing the same thing all the time and expect a different outcome every time, that is lunacy? But then again, inability to forget the past is a precursor to mental illness.....

Slip sliding away...

Face to Face (Swedish; 1976)
Director: Ingmar Bergman
This is a painstakingly slow film about an extremely difficult topic, of mental illness.
A psychiatrist, Dr Jenny Isaksson, comes to stay with her grandparents after her husband, also a psychiatrist, goes on a long conference. She had lost both her parents during her childhood to be cared by her grandparents.
Her grandfather is having senile dementia whilst the grandmother goes out of her way to care for her partner.
The environment of the house rekindled her suppressed childhood memories to ignite an episode of mental disorder that becomes quite debilitating, affecting her duties as a doctor, mother to her daughter and herself.
It shows the intricacies of a breakdown. It is difficult to pinpoint events that lead to it. In a world where we like to put a name to any disease and go down to the bottom of it, it makes us wonder if there is anything (or do we know everything) about this dreaded irritant. There seem no shortcut to put this ailment at bay. It is a case of the body being willing but not the mind. Individuals inflicted with worse life situations and misery somehow come out unscathed and in stronger form whilst others just keep slip sliding down the slippery pit of hopelessness and helplessness.