Who is a good man?

The Affair (Miniseries); 2014-19.
Season 1-5 (53 episodes)

Some men justify their polyamorous activities by saying that it is the norm. They assert that monogamy is an artificial construct that society conjures to determine ownership, responsibility and financial commitments in exchange for pleasures and the encumbrances emanating.

Society has constructed a cookbook recipe of how society should be lived - a monogamous one, sex within the confines of marriage and condemnation of fornication.

In defence, Casanovas insist their actions be in sync with the demands of Nature. The male seedlings are produced in abundance with the sole purpose of choosing the best of the offspring. Hence, they are just helping Nature sow their seed far and wide, aiding the production of the best species to flourish. There must be a reason why oestrus cycles are glaringly absent in our species. With such effective health awareness, screening, treatment and contraception at their disposal, they look at unplanned, unwanted outcomes as the risks of doing business. Anyway, societies have ways to ensure any baby is cared for, and there are many ways to sort out problems that arise.

But they all forget the psychological component associated with this seemingly transactional union. What started as a thrill to venture into tasting the forbidden fruit will turn into a compulsion and addiction and a habit hard to break. It soon becomes an indulgence that demands time, money and sacrifices. The forbidden fruit has its way of tying one down.

God forbid, by omission or commission, the union would bear fruit or the emotional entanglements that can go as far as bringing down kingdoms. It is said that there is always behind any man's success and the corresponding 'other' woman behind his fall. An affair is usually found there rearing its head!

As the miniseries went over 50 hours of storyline, it had to cover a plethora of topics, including friendship, infidelity, the challenging world of parenting and teaching, gender dysphoria, the diabolical difference in the education systems between the East and West coasts of the USA and more. The unnecessary exposure of flesh and bed scenes is slotted between scenes to pique viewers' interests.

Another novel theory suggested in the storyline is about transgenerational trauma. All the characters in the drama are miserable. They either made wrong life choices or had such low self-restraint that they repeatedly found themselves in trouble. Instead of taking the blame for all their follies, they take the path where they can blame their genes. Apparently, because of the trauma inflicted upon them by their parents or life itself, these epigenetic factors somehow altered their genetic material to make them feel miserable and indulge in destructive habits and even suicide.

Using the metaphor of the California forest fires where people were told to move to escape to safety, the story tells us we all have to move. Do we have to move in order to live, from affairs to affairs, to have a full life?

P.S. There used to be a senior colleague who was forever with the different drop-dead gorgeous women. He was brazen about his whole affairs, displaying his 'trophy collection' in full view of colleagues, friends and relatives without considering its consequences. 

Puritans would look with an air of disapproval behind him, of course, admonishing his theatrics, what's more with a pubescent kid at home. Secretly, many of them would cringe in agony thinking, if only they had the testicular fortitude to do the same without giving a minute's thought to others' thoughts of the whole exercise. But then, the meekness in them makes them all shrivel up.  

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